


Falling - PART FOUR

by Jayuscaper



Series: Partners For Life [6]
Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drug Abuse, Drugged Sex, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 73,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayuscaper/pseuds/Jayuscaper
Summary: Continuing on from Part Three where we left Jesse and Del Burley getting reaquainted in dubious circumstances.  In Part Four things get serious when a successful hit on one kingpin, means both Jesse and Del become the next targets, and Walter White and Mike Ehrmantruat need to take action to protect them...
Relationships: Jesse Pinkman/Other(s), Jesse Pinkman/Walter White
Series: Partners For Life [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793962
Comments: 13
Kudos: 20





	1. Hank saves the day?

**Author's Note:**

> It's back! A little later than planned, but this story must be told and I intend to take it to the end! Usually I write some nonsense about already writing the next installment, but on this occasion this represents all I have written to date (in ten handy parts...) I hope this is enjoyed enough to keep me writing in this version of the universe, as it's been so much fun - but those little plot bunnies are bugging me to write other things, as a distraction. It was nice to come back to this one, and finish it to a point I could jump off, I like to think there's some interesting places I take it. Enjoy the ride!

Hank took a deep breath as he parked up outside the expensive apartment building, it had taken a bit of detective work to uncover Del Burley’s new address, but thankfully his involvement in the new scheme gave him a reason to enquire without raising suspicion.

He was unsure how things would play out. To this point he had been totally on board with Del Burley, he was a respectable businessman, a known figure, a media darling who rubbed shoulders with presidents and high influential people but his brother-in-law now tells him he’s a paedophile, and it seemed unreal. Hank had decided, on hearing Jesse had not been heard from since the previous evening, that he would go alone to Burley’s apartment and just get an idea of the situation for himself without fuss. Obviously, the involvement of Pinkman made things difficult for him, if Burley was to get wind of any accusations it would just take one call, Hank realised, and Del would be able to bring the full force of the DEA down on him, probably claim that he’s harassing Pinkman with his history and that would be game over for him personally.

Hank decided he needed to check things out, if anything happened to Pinkman and he’d turned a blind eye he’d never forgive himself, and he doubted Walter would ever forgive him either. His brother-in-law had clearly taken it upon himself to help the shit stain Pinkman, and whilst Hank admired this on some level, he couldn’t help feeling that Pinkman would bite that very hand if given a chance. Hank decided he would go up to the apartment under the guise of discussing the scheme, he would check the apartment out, see if Pinkman is there and in need of help, and just leave. Hank was determined that he would not cause a scene, throw any suspicion or accusations, he simply wanted to understand what was going on between Pinkman and Burley, if in fact anything, maybe Walt was just being overly concerned over nothing.

Hank pressed the buzzer to Burley’s apartment, and it took a few moments before he got a response.

‘No 354, can I help you?’ Del Burley’s voice was heard.

‘Hey, Mr Burley, it’s Hank Schrader, sorry for not calling ahead but I realised I was in your area and I have those documents you need to sign, if you are free I could just pop up, save you coming into the office again?’ Hank asked.

‘Yes, yes, please come up, that’s no problem,’ Del enthused and Hank heard the door buzz open.

It took a couple of minutes for Hank to find the front door, and on arrival he saw it was already open, so he pushed it further and walked into Burley’s apartment.

‘Hank, great to see you, thank you so much for stopping by,’ Del greeted on seeing Hank. ‘Excuse the cleaners, had a bit of an accident last night,’ Del gestured to the two cleaners who were cleaning the sofa and carpet.

Hank glanced at the cleaners then headed towards Del. ‘Nothing serious I hope?’

‘Nothing that can’t be cleaned, doesn’t appear to have left a mark at least,’ Del smiled.

‘That’s good, so long as it wasn’t blood then we’re all good,’ Hank joked, but his mind went to the concerns of Walt almost immediately.

Del just laughed. ‘No, no,’ Del grinned. ‘It was sick, seems the pizza didn’t agree with Jesse, I didn’t fully appreciate he has an eating disorder and he over did it, but all is fine and he’s just sleeping it off in the spare room.’

‘Oh yes, you said Jesse was with you last night, did everything go ok, he’s going to do the scheme right?’ Hank asked with interest.

‘Yeah, tell you what, why don’t you go and talk to him yourself, he’s awake just resting up, he’s not heard directly from you about this scheme and I think he needs to,’ Del suggested. ‘While you do that, I can sign those documents,’ Del gestured to the door across the room, then took the sheets of paper from Hank.

‘Sounds good, thanks,’ Hank smiled and proceeded to the door Del had pointed out. With a light knock he heard Jesse’s voice and proceeded to go inside. He saw Jesse’s shocked reaction immediately and gestured defensively towards him immediately. ‘It’s ok, I just brought some documents for Del to sign, he suggested I come and talk to you, is that ok?’

Jesse seemed sluggish, as he gathered the duvet up around him, attempting to sit up against the headboard, before finally slumping against it. ‘Er, ok,’ he offered.

Hank went to his side and lowered his voice. ‘Is everything ok?’

‘Just tired,’ Jesse explained.

‘You got Walter worried, you know, my brother-in-law? He asked me to stop by, so I made an excuse to be here,’ Hank whispered. ‘Are you sure you’re ok, I heard you were sick?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse agreed.

‘Just say if you want to leave with me, gotta say you don’t look too good,’ Hank observed.

‘I’m fine, but actually yeah, I would like to go home if you’ll give me a lift?’ Jesse decided.

‘Get yourself dressed and ready, I’ll wait,’ Hank agreed. ‘Are you sure you’re ok?’

Jesse just nodded his head, he seemed a little out of it. His movements were slow, almost like he had a hangover, but it wasn’t quite that, Hank considered.

‘Give me ten minutes,’ Jesse stated, as he made a huge effort to push himself further up into a sitting position. ‘You can wait in the living room unless you want to perv on me as I get dressed.’

Hank stood up, showing his intention to leave. ‘How do you want to play this? Shall I tell Del I’m taking you home, or do you want to do it another way?’

Jesse looked at Hank. ‘Mr White told you, didn’t he?’

‘Told me what?’ Hank asked.

‘About me and Del, when I was younger,’ Jesse rubbed his face tiredly.

‘Look, kid, he was concerned, you told him you made a mistake then fobbed him off with a text message, you must have known he’d call me, with my connections,’ Hank explained.

‘It’s cool,’ Jesse simply said. ‘Thanks.’

‘For what?’

‘Listening to Mr White,’ Jesse managed before a big yawn. ‘Go back in there and make small talk, I’ll ask you to give me a lift or something, give Del less time to counter a reason for me not to go with you that way,’ Jesse offered, as he lazily retrieved the neat pile of clothes located beside his bed. ‘Man, the dude washed my stuff, when the fuck did he do that?’ Jesse wondered.

‘I’d say he’s a keeper, but given the circumstances,’ Hank grinned, and was pleased to see Jesse smirk in response, as he began to get dressed.

Hank retreated back into the living room seeing Del was sat at the breakfast bar still reading the documents with pen in hand.

‘Everything good?’ Del asked.

‘Yeah, great, the kid seems keen,’ Hank enthused. ‘It’s nice to see him with some purpose, been a long time coming.’

‘I think this scheme could be the making of him,’ Del offered.

‘The kid needs a break,’ Hank agreed.

‘Would you like a coffee, you don’t have to rush off, do you?’ Del asked, and Hank could see it now, how this guy played the people he needed to keep on side, to cover his less attractive side. Before Walt had told him, and Jesse had confirmed it, Hank wouldn’t have guessed in a million years the true nature of the man in front of him, he would have just loved being shown so much respect from such a powerful man, but now Hank just saw the dirty reality.

‘Sure, why not, I had an early start this morning,’ Hank smiled, he knew how to play people along just as well to give Jesse the time he needed to get ready.

‘Look, I never got the chance to properly apologise for those false leads I gave you, I mean obviously I didn’t know they were false at the time, but I trusted the wrong person and could have seriously destroyed Jesse’s reputation if you had acted on them in blind faith,’ Del stated.

Hank just smiled. ‘Happens to the best of us,’ Hank returned. ‘I’m guessing whoever fed you that information knew about my obsession with the great Heisenberg, probably had some twisted reason for giving you false facts.’

Hank watched as Del prepared the coffee, but couldn’t help thinking about Del’s leads, it wasn’t that he’d forgotten them but now he saw Del in a different light he was confused by them now. It might well be true that Del was fed false information, but now Hank was questioning everything about the man so should he question the truth of those leads? He had pretty much given up the fact that Jesse was linked to Heisenberg but like a buzz in his ear, he just couldn’t forget that Jesse’s car was found at Tuco’s place, in the middle of nowhere, and Tuco already had a bullet in him before Hank finished him off. 

Then there was the RV, the only one he never got to check, and it happened to be owned by Jesse Pinkman, then suddenly it disappeared after a bogus phone call. Hank calmed his breathing, he had to stay level-headed, he was on dangerous ground with Pinkman, and he needed to stay focused and not let his emotions get the better of him.

‘Would you like something to eat?’ Del interrupted his thoughts.

‘No, I’m good, thank you, just coffee is fine,’ Hank decided and smiled as Del brought it over to him.

The door to the spare room opened and Jesse walked into the living room, carrying his bag that he dropped to the floor once he reached the kitchen bar.

‘Hey, you should have stayed in bed, you’re not well,’ Del offered towards Jesse softly.

‘I’m feeling better,’ Jesse offered as he sat next to Hank.

‘So, what are your plans today?’ Del asked.

‘Actually, I need to go into town and pick up my new prescription, especially in light of what happened last night, I’m going to see if the doc can see me,’ Jesse offered. ‘Can you call me a cab?’ he asked Del.

‘Hey, don’t be silly, I can drop you in town, I’ll be heading that way as soon as I’ve finished this,’ Hank spoke up, seeing his opportunity.

‘Cool, thanks Mr Schrader,’ Jesse agreed.

‘Look, I’m not on duty kid, call me Hank,’ Hank offered.

‘Well hasn’t that worked out well,’ Del enthused. ‘We should all meet up again, soon, to discuss the scheme, maybe organise something on text later today and set a date?’ Del stated.

‘Sure, but I don’t have a phone, remember?’ Jesse seemed to be making a point to Del, that Hank didn’t miss.

‘Oh, that’s right,’ Del grinned and looked at Hank. ‘I stupidly washed his phone with his clothes last night, completely killed it,’ Del explained. ‘Here, take this and buy a new one, least I can do,’ Del handed Jesse $500 in cash from a drawer in his kitchen. ‘And this is my number,’ he wrote it down on a post-it pad he had on the side.

‘Thanks,’ Jesse accepted the money without comment and pocketed it with the number as well.

Hank watched the exchange remembering Jesse has commented when realising for the first time that his clothes had been washed, so immediately knew Del was covering the real story of the fate of the phone. The ease in which he played that was interesting to Hank, now he knew the guy’s true colors. Hank finished his coffee and got to his feet. ‘Shall we get going then, I have a departmental meeting at eleven, and promised I’d get the snacks,’ Hank rolled his eyes.

‘Sure,’ Jesse gingerly got to his feet, and Hank noticed he was still a little groggy in his movements.

‘Jesse,’ Del spoke and stopped Jesse, move close to him but Hank was already committed to walking to the door and felt it would be odd if he stopped to wait, so reached the door and looked back to see Del was saying something to Jesse, his voice too low for Hank to make out. Jesse was listening, and intermittently nodding his head, as if to agree and Hank then saw how Del’s hand lingered over Jesse’s hand. He might have missed it at any other time but it looked very much like an affectionate gesture, that Jesse accepted before he glanced at Hank looking back at him and began to move away from Del.

‘I’ll call,’ Jesse offered as he moved. ‘Once I get a new phone,’ he added. ‘Thanks for letting me stay,’ he paused on seeing the cleaners for the first time. ‘Sorry about your sofa, and the mess, and how I was,’ Jesse turned back to Del. ‘Look, take this money back, I cost you enough already,’ he took the $500 out of his pocket.

‘Don’t be silly, that money is yours, I still broke your phone,’ Del insisted. ‘My sofa and carpet survived your act of madness, your phone didn’t survive mine,’ Del smiled.

‘S’ok,’ Jesse put the money back, and joined up with Hank at the front door, they said their goodbyes and left the apartment.

No words were said as they slowly made their way down to the car, due to Jesses condition, and it wasn’t until Hank pulled into the street outside that Jesse seemed to relax and finally spoke.

‘I was half expecting him to come running out with an excuse for me not to leave,’ Jesse remarked, looking back at the apartments from the car.

‘So, tell me straight, what happened last night?’ Hank requested.

Jesse rubbed his face before speaking. ‘I’m not even sure I know.’

‘Are you hungry?’ Hank asked.

‘Starving, I think my stomach has recovered,’ Jesse admitted.

‘Want breakfast?’ Hank suggested.

‘Yeah, that would be good,’ Jesse agreed.

‘On one condition,’ Hank then stated and saw the flash of concern on Jesse’s face. ‘We talk a few things out, ok? I need to know the bigger picture here, you, Burley, everything.’

Jesse seemed to relax a little. ‘Sure, ok.’

‘Another condition,’ Hank then threw in and saw Jesse flash him a look of annoyance. ‘Call my brother-in-law, he and his wife are worried sick about you, kid,’ Hank stated and found the number on his phone, then handed it to Jesse as it started ringing.

‘Hank?’ Walt’s voice answered rapidly.

‘No, it’s Jesse,’ Jesse revealed with a sigh.

‘Jesse!’ Walt exclaimed. ‘Are you ok, is everything ok?’

‘It’s cool, I’m ok, just tired,’ Jesse explained. ‘I got sick, so I stayed over but it was all ok, I promise.’

‘You stayed over at Del Burley’s place?’ Walt checked.

‘Yeah, in his spare room,’ Jesse responded. ‘Your brother-in-law was just there, he saw the mess I made, he saw I was in the spare room, I’m not lying.’

Hank raised his voice to confirm what Jesse had said was true.

‘Ok, well, are you ok now?’ Walt asked.

‘Yeah, Mr Schrader is shouting me breakfast,’ Jesse smirked.

There was a pause before Walt spoke. ‘Be careful, Jesse, he’s still DEA,’ Walt said in a lower voice.

‘I’ll come by and see you later maybe,’ Jesse spoke in reply, unable to respond directly but he understood Mr White’s concern.

Jesse finished the call and put Hank’s phone down by his seat, before seeing Hank pulling into a Dennys. Jesse grabbed the pills from his bag, he didn’t want a repeat of last night so soon.

* * *

Jesse couldn’t help the slight nervousness he felt as Hank returned with a stack of pancakes and drinks on a tray. He had insisted that Jesse go and sit down, recognising that he wasn’t very good on his feet and Jesse hadn’t objected. He stretched his arms and rolled his back as Hank sat down, his body was still struggling to get back up to speed, his chest felt heavy and Jesse hoped as the day wore on the effects would wear off.

Hank distributed the items and discarded the tray before finally looking at Jesse, making Jesse suddenly feel intimidated. It was hard to forget that Hank had brutally attacked him that one time, and it made him feel a little uneasy to look at Hank directly.

‘Look, kid,’ Hank began, his voice a little softer than usual probably for Jesse’s benefit he figured. ‘Let’s get the elephant out of the room first off, what I did to you that time on your doorstep, it was unforgivable and I’m sorry, ok? I mean it, and I can see it in your face, and it pains me to see that fear, the instinct to be afraid of me. I just hope I can work with you to make that look go away,’ Hank said sincerely.

‘Ok,’ Jesse simply responded, staring at the hot drink Hank had put in front of him, as he began to stir it by way of distraction. ‘Thanks for getting help to me, and not just leaving me there. Docs said it could have been a lot worse if I hadn’t got treated as quickly as I did,’ Jesse shrugged, thinking it might pay to make an effort.

‘I regretted what I did immediately, kid,’ Hank seemed distressed as he remembered. ‘There was no way I would have just left you, regardless, I knew immediately I’d been an idiot and you didn’t deserve to suffer because of my stupidity.’

Jesse hated remembering those moments when Hank attacked, he rubbed his temple as he tried to stop himself doing so then hastily took a sip of the hot drink, but his hand was shaking with the effort and he quickly put the mug down again before he spilt it.

‘Are you ok?’ Hank checked, unsure.

‘Can we talk about something else?’ Jesse asked without looking up, coughing a little.

‘Sure, look let’s not be coy here, I’m DEA, and you are on the other side, I know that you know that,’ Hank stated firmly. ‘But right here, right now, we are just two guys having breakfast, ok?’

Jesse nodded his head to agree, before he grabbed a couple of the pancakes and put them on his plate, glad that his hand played along that time and didn’t shake. ‘So, this is like, what? Confidential, unofficial, whatever I tell you at this table over breakfast, it won’t be used against me?’ Jesse asked.

‘That all depends, are you Heisenberg’s second?’ Hank said outright.

Jesse looked at Hank and scoffed. ‘Seriously? The dude cooking the blue crystal? You think I’m anywhere near that?’

‘You tell me,’ Hank stated.

‘I’m telling you I think you’re smoking the sky blue if you think that,’ Jesse shrugged and started to take a couple of bites of the pancake, he was relieved when he saw Hank laugh.

‘Ok, so level with me here, what was your car doing at Tuco’s place, the day I shot him?’ Hank asked.

‘Didn’t we go over this already?’ Jesse complained, and took a deep breath. ‘My car was stolen.’

‘Why didn’t you report it?’ Hank pushed.

‘I was too stoned to care, I knew it was gone but fucked if I was bothered to do anything when there was still weed to get through,’ Jesse exclaimed.

Hank laughed again at that reply, a proper wide grinned laugh. ‘Ok, I can just about buy that, how did Tuco know about you, or your car?’

Jesse shrugged. ‘I may have hung out with one of his cousins I think, smoking pot one time, but come on the dude had thousands of cousins, family, whatever roaming the streets, still does. It’s hard not to get mixed up with that fucking family. I just figure one of them actually stole it and somehow it came into Tuco’s space, who knows?’ Jesse offered, impressed with his quick thinking.

‘So, you never actually met Tuco?’ Hank continued.

‘I think I’d remember if I did,’ Jesse narrowed his eyes, he paused for a moment to take some needed breaths, his lungs still felt heavy as his body tried to recover from the effects of the drug Del had given him. ‘I thought you were buying me breakfast to talk about Del Burley, the actual person who I do physically know?’ Jesse complained, he wasn’t feeling great, and sitting with Hank like this, his natural anxieties began to rise, as he realised this was not a good idea. ‘You know what, this is starting to feel like I’m being set up, let’s just forget it, not hungry,’ Jesse pushed himself up.

‘Hey, hey, sit down, kid,’ Hank stood up with Jesse. ‘OK, sorry, I guess I find it hard to not go into work mode, and you, Pinkman, you just seem to be a bit of an enigma the more I delve into your past,’ Hank admitted. ‘I didn’t mean to push on the Tuco stuff, let’s talk about Burley, proper talk about him and you.’

Jesse sighed. ‘I get it, ok? My car was at Tuco’s place when he died, but that’s not my fault, that’s just my fucking luck, the more you delve into me and my past you’re realise my luck and life hates me,’ Jesse offered sadly and sat back down with effort, returning to his pancakes.

‘That’s probably the best explanation I’ve ever heard for you,’ Hank admitted. ‘So, just tell me one thing, what did happen to your RV, after I left?’

Jesse froze for a fraction of a second, but maybe this was a chance for him to throw Hank off his scent for good, feed him some white lies whilst they had this weird truce thing going on. ‘The truth?’ Jesse checked, seeing he had Hank’s full attention. ‘You freaked me the fuck out, I was high as a fucking kite and that RV was my space, my private space, where I’d chill, light up safely you know? Del’s not the only perv to take advantage of me, you know, when I’m in that state so the RV was my haven, my sanctuary to not have to worry about that shit,’ Jesse explained, staring at Hank willing him to believe him, adding some emotions to the mix and seeing it was having the desired effect on the big old softie before him. ‘I was smoking this fine batch when suddenly you’re outside, fucking DEA, yelling at me, threatening me and I panicked, I didn’t know what to do, it suddenly didn’t feel so private or safe anymore but then when I saw you drive away suddenly, I saw it as my only option,’ Jesse ranked up his upset suddenly, all play for Hank to witness. ‘I got it crushed there and then, I didn’t want to ever see it again,’ Jesse wiped his eyes for effect. ‘Only place I ever felt safe, I fucking miss that RV, it felt like the only thing I ever owned that I felt safe in, that I actually was safe in till that moment.’

Hank’s eyes were closed, and he was rubbing his face, Jesse knew his words had hit a raw nerve, and he had played it just right. ‘Shit, kid, I never realised what that old RV represented, and then I did what I did to you, attacked you in your actual home,’ he realised and looked upwards.

Jesse just shrugged, Hank linking the attack was an added bonus, as he maintained the sadness in his expression. ‘it’s ok, it’s not like the worst thing that ever happened to me, just wish I’d not been high, maybe I would have just let you in, instead of freaking out like I did.’

‘Yeah,’ Hank agreed. ‘I just wish I knew who prank called me, if I ever find out, that person is dead.’

‘I can believe it,’ Jesse offered with a shudder.

‘Ok, Pinkman, look, I’ve heard rumours you are Heisenberg’s second, ok? Been led towards evidence that comes back to you,’ Hank began, and Jesse sat back rolling his eyes and trying not to get worked up. ‘Let’s flip this, what reason would anyone have to frame you? To put attention on you rather than, let’s say, Heisenberg’s genuine second, why have you, Jesse Pinkman, been framed?’

Jesse looked at Hank, and he had to admit he was impressed with Hank’s new approach and was beginning to realise why the guy was as high ranking as he was, and not the knuckle head Jesse always thought he was. Even with some new-found respect, Jesse couldn’t bring himself to find an answer and just shrugged.

‘Come on, Jesse, you know people, you know the parts of this town hidden from me,’ Hank explained. ‘You must have some inkling who this Heisenberg character is, a new face, he’s only been around for a year,’ Hank persisted.

Jesse was tired suddenly, and he was rapidly losing interest in stringing Hank along, he really didn’t like where it was heading. This may only be a chat now, but Jesse was getting the impression it wouldn’t be the last little chat if he didn’t put an end to this now. ‘You know what, I know I’m many things but one thing I’m not is a snitch, we’re done, yo,’ Jesse decided and pushed himself up from the seat. ‘Thanks for breakfast, but I’ve decided I’m not doing the scheme, I don’t want to be your buddy, your little side kick, informer, ok?’ Jesse stated and walked away from the table.

Hank only closed his eyes and remained seated, looking troubled as Jesse exited the building, into the morning sun. Once he turned the corner Jesse rested against the wall to catch his breath, knowing he shouldn’t be breathing so heavy. He still felt lethargic, the drug just wasn’t letting go, Jesse realised and that just added to the stress he was feeling. He sunk down to the ground, just needing a few minutes to hopefully recover some energy before deciding what he would do now, with no phone or ride he was at odds as to what his options were, simply walking would be a lot harder than normal at the moment. He put his head down and tried to even his breathing, and for a few moments he wanted to believe he was catching his breath but the realisation that he was now gasping for air caused him to start to panic.

Bringing his head back up, Jesse’s chest was heaving as he struggled to regain control, feeling his energy wavering.

‘Hey, are you ok, son?’ a stranger’s voice sounded, and Jesse sensed them kneel down nearby. ‘Is there anything I can do?’ the concern in the stranger’s voice made Jesse realise he probably wasn’t looking too good. Jesse could feel the sheen of sweat now on his face, as he continued to gasp for air that wasn’t there, his chest was beginning to hurt as his head swam. ‘Hey, use this,’ the stranger had taken his take-out meal out of the paper bag he held, as he pressed it to Jesse’s mouth, it began to inflate and deflate.

After a few breaths Jesse felt the bag being removed, someone else had arrived and seemed to be taking over and it took Jesse a moment to realise it was Hank, as he held Jesse’s head, determining the situation.

‘Hey kid, can you hear me?’ Hank asked a couple of times before Jesse nodded his head groggily. ‘Come on, breath in through you nose, out through your mouth, can you do that?’ Jesse wasn’t sure if he was doing it, and then felt Hank moving him to lay on his back. ‘Come on, kid, slow it down, focus, in through the nose, out through the mouth, that’s it,’ Hank enthused, as Jesse realised he was regaining control, and he felt his body responding again.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Hank repeatedly telling Jesse how to breath, and slowly Jesse began to feel ok, and with Hank’s help he sat up again.

‘Take your time, kid,’ Hank encouraged, and Jesse tried not to react to the old man rubbing the top of his back.

Jesse began to cough and felt a bottle of water being put into his hand. ‘Thanks,’ Jesse returned hoarsely, thankful that Hank had undone the cap already, feeling so weak after whatever that was. Taking some measured sips, a habit he’d developed due to his stomach, Jesse took a couple of deep breaths before handing the bottle back to Hank to put the cap back on. ‘I think I’m good,’ Jesse offered, still panting but he felt a lot more focused now.

‘Good, look, I’d like someone to check you out, make sure you’re ok,’ Hank advised. ‘You didn’t look good, and haven’t looked ok since this morning,’ Hank stated. ‘I’ve been called back to the office, something big has gone down and they need me in. We have an onsite doctor I can ask to come and see you, so will you just come with me, so I can be sure you’re ok?’

Jesse was a little hesitant, but whatever that was had frightened him enough to agree, and didn’t want to be left in the Denny’s parking lot if Hank needed to go. Jesse just nodded his head and with Hank’s help, got back up onto his feet.

‘So, what’s the big thing?’ Jesse wearily asked.

‘I’m only hearing snapshots so far, seems there’s been a hit on some important guy, they are being pretty cagey on the alert systems,’ Hank offered as he unlocked his car. Jesse got into the passenger seat and buckled up, before Hank started up the engine and began to drive.

They had barely left the parking lot when Hank’s phone buzzed, he put it on speaker phone and gestured to Jesse to keep quiet.

‘Gomie, what’s going on, man?’ Hank barked.

‘Man, you’re not going to believe it,’ Gomie began. ‘You’re needed asap, the big thing that went down, it’s drugs related, possible king pin been taken out.’

Jesse’s eyes darted to Hank surprised expression. ‘Are we thinking Heisenberg?’ Hank asked.

‘Too early to say, but we’re hearing noises that it’s in retaliation for those Cartel deaths in Mexico a few weeks back,’ Gomie offered. ‘Some out-of-town set up claiming responsibility, big power play.’

‘Where did it go down?’ Hank asked, as he weaved through heavy mid-morning traffic.

‘Can you believe Los Pollos?’ Gomie replied.

Jesse stared ahead, his mind racing with the news. He was fairly confident Mr White was safe, but that meant there could only be one other person, one who was directly responsible for the cartel deaths a few weeks ago, could it be true that Gus Fring was dead?

‘The chicken place?’ Hank questioned. ‘Damn, that place will be closed for a long time if it’s a murder scene, best chicken,’ Hank shook his head. ‘Ok, look, I’m ten minutes away, and Gomie, can you do me a favour, can you ask for Doc Hammond to be available when I get in?’

‘You ok?’ Gomie immediately asked.

‘It’s not for me, I just need him there, it’ll make sense when I get there,’ Hank simply replied.

‘Sure thing,’ Gomie agreed and signed off.

‘Why did they have to hit the best chicken place in town?’ Hank was still annoyed by that it seemed, but Jesse was a little lost in his thoughts. ‘You ok?’ Hank asked seeing Jesse’s lack of response.

‘Sorry, head’s still a little floaty,’ Jesse returned.

‘What happened to you at Del’s place, kid?’ Hank asked, as they got caught in traffic. ‘You’ve been a little slow all morning, then whatever that attack was outside Denny’s, did he do something to you?’

Jesse rubbed his temple, he just wanted to sleep now. ‘Yeah,’ Jesse simply said.

‘Shit, kid,’ Hank exclaimed. ‘We should have talked about that at breakfast, I’m such an idiot sometimes, I just get so caught up with things sometimes,’ Hank offered.

‘I thought that’s what we were going to talk about, but I get it, you’re obsessed with this idea I’m some double agent, spending a secret life as a drug overlord, but seriously? Look at me,’ Jesse stated, gesturing to his current weakened state.

‘You realise that is exactly what a secret drug overlord would say?’ Hank smirked, but sighed when he saw Jesse’s ‘what the fuck’ expression. ‘Ok, bad joke, but you must realise that you just seem to be in the right places at the wrong time just a bit too often.’ Jesse just shrugged and looked out of the window, before Hank spoke again. ‘You were in Mexico, right?’

Jesse froze a little, he knew exactly where this was going if he didn’t think quick, so he was glad his head was no longer spinning. ‘I’m sure Del Burley could tell you.’

‘Why do you say that?’ Hank asked with curiosity.

‘It’s suddenly making sense, he’s the one who’s been feeding you info about me, right?’ Jesse asked. ‘You said you heard rumours about me being what? Heisenberg’s second, let me guess, from Burley? Did he tell you I was in Mexico too?’ Jesse asked, then he found a smile. ‘Wait, is that why Mr White thought I’d been to Mexico when I got back from Vegas, why he was so worked up and worried and shit?’ Jesse questioned.

‘You were in Vegas?’ Hank checked.

Jesse shrugged. ‘Not to start with, Del’s psycho right hand man smuggled me out of that facility I was sent to after you put me in a cell,’ Jesse stated, thinking on the spot, and hoping that he didn’t contradict anything that would catch him out.

‘I don’t know what the hell happened, you should have stayed in holding till I got back,’ Hank fumed. ‘I know Del Burley had something to do with that, some influence at least,’ he frowned. ‘It’s amazing how he plays people, I’m feeling pretty played right now.’

‘Don’t feel bad, I’m hardly one who can claim to be above it all,’ Jesse sighed.

‘So, what did happen, after they smuggled you out?’ Hank was curious.

Jesse wasn’t sure what to really say, but he knew what would make an impact, one that might get Hank off his case a little and more onside. Jesse saw they were stopping at another set of lights so he undid his seat belt, aware that Hank was half expecting him to run but instead he twisted around in his seat so his back was facing Hank, and lifted his t-shirt.

‘Holy crap,’ Hank simply said looking at the damage to Jesse’s back before he sat back in the seat and redid his seat belt.

‘Del sold you the Heisenberg crap to stop you discovering or knowing the truth, that his people decided it was time to give me another reminder to not speak about stuff, not to tell anyone about what Del did to me as a kid,’ Jesse sunk a bit in his seat. ‘It worked, on both of us,’ he added for effect.

‘You say his people, not Del himself?’ Hank checked.

‘Yeah, his people, that Franko dude mainly,’ Jesse offered. ‘Del,’ Jesse paused, suddenly feeling his emotions being triggered, and he battled to contain them. ‘It’s complicated with Del,’ Jesse rubbed his face.

‘What happened last night, kid?’ Hank pushed.

‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ Jesse simply said, which was the most truthful thing he had said since the conversation started. 

‘Ok, you seem to be breathing weird again, remember what I said, in through the nose, out through the mouth kid, don’t get in the same state again,’ Hank advised.

Jesse did as he was told and focused on his breathing again. He hadn’t realised that his chest had got heavy again, everything just felt sore now, it hurt to do the deep breaths, but he showed willing in front of Hank.

‘Look, kid, this whole thing with Del Burley, I’m not sure how to deal with it,’ Hank admitted, they were just a couple of blocks away from the office now. ‘I had good intentions when I asked for his help with the scheme, when I suggested you be a recipient, but my eyes have been opened.’

‘I’m his weakness,’ Jesse simply said.

‘Would you ever testify against him, call him out? If you could?’ Hank asked.

‘No,’ Jesse responded pretty clearly.

‘Why the hell not?’ Hank asked.

Jesse shrugged. ‘Because he’s my weakness too,’ Jesse simply said, avoiding Hank’s stare as they arrived at the offices.

Hank parked up but didn’t attempt to leave the car, and neither did Jesse. ‘Did you two, last night?’ Hank hesitated.

‘Get together, do the business, get it on, fuck each other’s brains out?’ Jesse sharply asked.

‘Jesus, kid,’ Hank objected, then hesitated. ‘Did you?’

‘As I said, it’s complicated,’ Jesse offered quietly. ‘The reason I’m slow, having trouble this morning is because that arsehole drugged me, paralysed me for most of the night. Some experimental drug that took away my ability to move for the most part, taking a while to regain it all back.’

‘Fucking hell,’ Hank looked disgusted. ‘And he took advantage?’

‘No, that’s the thing, was as good as gold,’ Jesse offered with a wry smile. ‘Didn’t touch me, bar dragging me from the kitchen to the living room, we talked, or rather he talked, I couldn’t to start with,’ Jesse remembered, and then sighed. ‘Then I nearly choked to death because I was sick, and couldn’t right myself. He quickly cleared my airways, cleaned me up, put me to bed in the spare room just as some feeling started to come back,’ Jesse frowned. ‘And,’ Jesse rubbed his face. ‘It was like I was fifteen again, I felt a strong desire that I had to have him.’

‘You initiated it?’ Hank checked.

‘I think so,’ Jesse answered unsure. ‘He didn’t stop me, he seemed like he’d won the lottery, and for a billionaire that’s quite a look.’

‘Jesus, kid,’ Hank rubbed his own face now. ‘You think you really wanted that, like seriously, or did it feel more like, I don’t know, some weird control thing?’

Jesse looked at Hank for a moment as he considered the question. ‘Right in that moment, just me and Del in that room, it was all I wanted, yo,’ Jesse looked troubled, upset. ‘he’d done a lot of talking, I don’t know, he stayed close, so maybe it’s some sort of ’ Jesse looked upwards with despair. ‘Now, I think I need a fucking brain transplant, I’ve let the fucker back in, haven’t I?’ Jesse looked to Hank for the answer.

‘Hate to say it kid, seems the grooming never got resolved,’ Hank offered with a frown.

‘But I’m older, I’m not a kid,’ Jesse said with some anger. ‘Ever since the memories returned, I’ve not been able to hate him. All I sense is good times, fun times, we had a lot of fun, man, that’s all I keep remembering,’ Jesse agonised. ‘But I know, I do really know that he fucked me up, that stuff we did back then, the sex, the drugs, everything was wrong so what the hell?’

‘Hey, hey,’ Hank put a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. ‘Breath, kid, steady your breathing, at least till that drug is out of your system, if that is the cause of this.’

Jesse nodded his head to agree, and did exactly that, taking more measured breaths. ‘He keeps telling me my parents were the real villains, not him. Shit, my parents,’ Jesse gasped, as if triggered.

Hank was about to comment but before his eyes he watched as Jesse suddenly collapsed into a heap, sobbing uncontrollably enough to really concern Hank, who grabbed his phone and dialled Gomie.

‘Hey, is the doc upstairs?’ Hank asked as soon as Gomie answered. ‘Good, get him to come down to the parking lot, I could really do with some help, got a kid having a complete breakdown down here.’


	2. About Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter White agrees to help Hank by letting Jesse stay at his house, and things start to get real with the fallout from Gus Fring's surprise demise. Marie can't help sticking her nose into matters however.

The office was busy as Walter White hurried past people, clearly a lot was going on, but he soon spotted Hank and made a beeline.

‘Oh, great you’re here, Walt, follow me,’ Hank gestured, and the two men hurried into a corridor that was slightly quieter.

‘What happened, is Jesse ok? I was starting to worry when we didn’t hear from you again after the call this morning,’ Walt hurriedly asked, having only been told to get to the office because Hank needed his help with Jesse.

Hank stopped and put a hand on Walt’s arm. ‘I would have called earlier but the kid needed to sleep, he only woke up an hour ago,’ Hank explained. ‘Look, I know this will be asking a lot, Walt, but I need your help. I know the kid responds to you,’ Hank began. ‘He’s just been given the all-clear by the doc, with some medication to help him relax, but he can’t be alone right now. I figured if Marie and I took the kids for a few days, that you could maybe take Jesse in, just for a couple of nights?’

Walt’s mind was exploding at the request, it was a lot to take in and he wanted to jump at the chance to be able to keep a closer eye on Jesse, but his mind was racing as to why Hank was asking him to do this making his expression show doubt to Hank.

Hank in turn looked worried that Walt was about to refuse. ‘Look, I can talk to Skyler if it helps, you’d be doing me a massive favour. The kid is pretty fragile, right now,’ Hank explained further mistaking Walt’s silence for resistance.

‘No, no, it’ll be fine, Skyler will be fine with it,’ Walt quickly relayed, and they began to walk again. ‘What is going on around here, it’s far busier than I was expecting,’ Walt then observed.

‘Oh, big news going down, but there’s a media blackout for the moment, so no gossiping,’ Hank warned before he opened a door. ‘Gus Fring was taken out this morning, seems to be drug related, rival gang getting payback for what went down in Mexico.’

‘Wow, you’re telling me Gus Fring is dead?’ Walt’s mind began racing for many different reasons now.

‘Who’d of thought Fring was a kingpin, hey? We’re trying to get a jump on his operations before the news is made public, try and catch the rest of his gang with their pants well and truly down. Uncovering all his areas of business to find likely places where he might have operated,’ Hank enthused like a kid of Christmas morning.

Walt stepped back suddenly. ‘Actually, I don’t want to confuse Jesse, I think I shouldn’t go in just yet, not until I’ve cleared things,’ Walt stopped Hank opening the door. ‘Let me just quickly call Skyler first, get everything on a level, you know how it’s been with me and her lately. Then if all is well, we can then just get Jesse out of this mayhem and home, yeah? Avoid potential confusions or eruptions at the other end?’ Walt suggested.

‘Good plan,’ Hank readily agreed. ‘There’s a storeroom a couple of doors down, use that, it’s good for privacy, I’m sure she’ll need a little convincing,’ Hank smiled.

‘You know Skyler too well,’ Walt agreed with a smile, then turned and quickly found the storeroom and secured himself inside. Taking out his phone he dialled Mike’s number, who gruffly answered a few seconds later.

‘Not a good time, Walt,’ Mike answered.

‘I know about Gus,’ Walt hissed.

‘And how the hell did you find out?’ Mike asked.

‘The DEA are already all over it, I’m right here at the offices now,’ Walt stressed. ‘They are already pinpointing business interests of Gus with the intention of catching you with your pants down,’ Walt added.

‘OK, that’s good intel, thank you Walter, they must have been tipped off by Declan’s people,’ Mike conceded. ‘The lab is already destroyed, so you and the kid are safe. We’ve managed to firebomb the office at the restaurant, despite the police presence, the entire premises will be destroyed in under thirty minutes,’ Mike relayed. ‘And as of now we are heading to the chicken farm to tie up the final loose ends there. We were going to wait till morning, but you have changed those plans, good work, Walter.’

‘Ok, sounds in hand, I have to go, Jesse is right here in the midst of the DEA. Just don’t ask, nothing to be concerned about on your end right now,’ Walt assured him.

‘I can’t wait to hear about that,’ Mike mocked. ‘Just glad he’s turned up, I had to call off all the search parties when Fring was taken out, take care of the kid, and I’ll take care of business.’

Walt finished the call and then quickly dialled Skyler’s number, she answered almost immediately. ‘I can’t talk for long, I’m here with Hank. He’s asked me to take Jesse home with me, he can’t be on his own right now. Marie will be coming round within the next twenty minutes to pick up the kids, just let her, and make up junior’s bed for Jesse.’

‘Understood, the house will be ready,’ Skyler responded, knowing not to question anything, sensing Walt had good reasons.

Walt finished the call and quickly left the storeroom, Hank was still stood by the door and smiled on seeing Walt. ‘Do you still have your balls?’

Walt grinned. ‘I do, everything is ok, only took a little convincing,’ Walt relayed. ‘I told Skyler Marie would be round in the next twenty minutes to collect the kids?’

‘Perfect, I just called her and she’s probably already there, she couldn’t wait to nick your kids again,’ Hank joked then looked a little unsure. ‘She’s not so hot on you guys taking in a druggie, but she’ll come round.’

‘Sir,’ An officer came running towards Hank. ‘News coming from the chicken restaurant, it’s just gone up in flames, whole place is burning,’ the officer relayed.

‘Crap, really? Someone is cleaning up affairs already, and now I definitely won’t get a decent chicken meal anytime soon, man, that sucks,’ Hank complained, then looked at the officer. ‘Ok, tell the men to stop up their work on identifying other places of business, if they have already destroyed the restaurant it means they might already be one step ahead of us and we can’t let that happen.’

Walt watched the young officer turn with his orders and inwardly smiled, if the department only knew how much their time was being wasted right now.

‘So, what is Marie’s problem exactly?’ Walt offered, to bring Hank back to Jesse.

‘Oh, you know how sheltered she can be sometimes, her views can be so black and white about the whole good and bad. Jesse has history with drug use, make’s him a bad person, I shouldn’t be asking bad people to stay with her sister, that kind of thing,’ Hank dismissed gruffly. ‘I guess it doesn’t help that the bad person in question here is Pinkman, I think she’s maybe worried he might have an ulterior motive, you know, against me?’

Walt could only frown in response, as Hank opened the door to the room containing Jesse. His frown was soon lost on finally seeing Jesse and he had to check his own reaction to it, to stop himself saying anything out loud for fear of scaring the figure he saw sat in the corner on the floor, his knees drawn up and his head buried in his hands.

‘Hey kid, Mr White is here now,’ Hank spoke up softly.

Bleary eyed, Jesse looked up, looking dumbstruck as he saw Mr White. Like clockwork he got to his feet, stumbling a little before composing himself.

‘Hey Jesse, you’re going to stay with me for a couple of days, ok?’ Walt spoke in his teacher voice, more as a play in front of Hank than for Jesse’s benefit.

‘Cool,’ Jesse simply said and looked ready to leave.

‘I’ll check in with you tomorrow, kid, get some rest, ok?’ Hank offered and Jesse numbly nodded his head as he began to walk out of the room. Hank and Walt exchanged glances, but Walt just wanted to get Jesse out of there as quickly as possible, he needed to know what had happened.

Before he could get too far ahead, Hank pulled him back a little. ‘Go easy on him, all I know is Del drugged him, stuff happened, old triggers,’ Hank explained. ‘Keep an eye on his breathing, he had a sort of panic attack earlier, then a complete meltdown after mentioning his parents,’ Hank added. ‘We let him sleep it off and he was out for nearly 8 hours, that’s when I called you because I just can’t keep him here, people started asking questions especially with all the activity with Gus Fring.’

‘Of course, of course,’ Walt offered. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.’

‘I know it’s unlikely but make sure Del Burley has zero contact with him for the moment,’ Hank added.

‘Of course,’ Walt agreed before catching up with Jesse who had waited by the elevator for Walt.

Hank watched them both leave, hoping Jesse’s connection to Walt would serve them well, he didn’t want the kid to be alone and figured Walt could be a good father figure for the young man, he really needed one, Hank considered.

* * *

Skyler was running around putting an overnight bag together for Holly, before rushing to the note pad and writing down an address before returning to Marie. ‘Ok, you should have more than enough for Holly for the next few days, and I’ve packed Juniors clothes that should last him about the same. Junior is at this address and will need picking up at 9pm, we said he could have dinner at his friends some weeks ago so didn’t want to force him to cancel,’ Skyler stressed as she handed the bags over, with the note.

‘You know this is completely ridiculous, right?’ Marie simply said.

Skyler stopped and stared at Marie, taken aback by her tone. ‘It’s fine, you are ok taking the kids right?’

‘Of course I am, I’ll always be ok taking the kids but, Skyler, this kid, this addict, Pinkman of all people, you’re just letting him into your home?’ Marie checked.

‘It’s not that black and white, Marie, the kid needs our help,’ Skyler offered.

‘The kid has parents, what exactly are they doing?’ Marie asked.

‘Look, it’ll be fine, Walt wants to help the kid, so we help the kid,’ Skyler stressed.

‘The same kid who sold your husband drugs not so long ago, you weren’t so keen on him then so what’s changed?’ Marie threw back.

Skyler wanted to roll her eyes but thought better of it. ‘As I said, it’s not that simple, I know more now, and it’ll only be for a couple of days, trust me on this,’ Skyler attempted to smile and lighten the mood.

‘This kid was going to ruin Hank’s career just a few months back, remember?’ Marie hissed.

‘Hank did almost kill him with his bare hands, Marie, and he dropped all charges, so what’s your point?’ Skyler asked, her patience waning.

‘Once you let him stay here, he will keep coming back, he is an addict,’ Marie stressed. ‘He will see what you own and sell it, I’m telling you, you will regret this,’ Marie said with arrogance. ‘His parents should be doing this. You shouldn’t be expected to uproot your kids for their stupid druggie kid.’

‘Marie, for gods sake,’ Skyler sighed. ‘We are happy to take him, ok? Walt wants to help him,’ Skyler stressed.

‘Well, I’m not prepared to understand it,’ Marie crossed her arms.

Skyler frowned. ‘I’ll just go and get Holly, so you can get going.’

* * *

Del Burley sat on the sofa staring at the freshly cleaned section at the other end, lost in thought. He checked his phone, still nothing from Jesse and it was starting to concern him. He took another gulp of the whisky he’d been drinking thinking how he’d been sure Jesse would call. The reason he let him leave was because he felt they had made a connection the previous night, that he didn’t have to worry.

Suddenly his phone rang and he grabbed it to answer, unable to hide his disappointment when he saw Franko’s name flash up.

‘Franko,’ Del answered, lacking enthusiasm.

‘Del, where are you right now?’ Franko asked.

‘In my apartment,’ Del answered.

‘Pack up, take enough for a few days, check into a hotel under the agree synonym, do it now,’ Franko stressed.

‘What the hell?’ Del asked.

‘Fring was taken out this morning, by Declan, and you’re next on his list,’ Franko stressed.

‘Shit, I told him to give me time to fix things,’ Del got to his feet immediately.

‘Just clear out, only take what you need. I don’t have men in the city at the moment they are on other jobs in other states, but they will be on route from tomorrow, so hang tight for a couple of days, ok?’

‘Of course,’ Del responded a little shell shocked, the added alcohol he had drunk not helping matters.

‘I think you need to leave Albuquerque, maybe put some distance between you and that whole wretched city,’ Franko then remarked.

‘I can’t, not yet,’ Del immediately replied.

‘Del, you can’t keep torturing yourself,’ Franko offered. ‘Your life may well be at stake now, brother.’

‘No, you don’t understand, Jesse was here, last night, we connected,’ Del stated.

There was silence on the other end before Franko finally spoke. ‘Well, shit, I didn’t expect that. So you and Jesse, you’re in contact, like he can reach you and stuff?’

‘Didn’t I keep telling you things were different with him?’ Del responded then caught what Franko was asking. ‘What is it, why are you asking if he can contact me?’

‘Look, just remember to keep thinking with your head, not your dick, that’s all I ask. Your safety comes first, get out of dodge as priority, understand?’ Franko stressed.

‘What aren’t you telling me, Franko?’ Del demanded.

‘Jesus, this kid is going to be the death of you, Del, and it’ll be with your fucking approval, mark my words,’ Franko sighed loudly. ‘OK, just check your phone messages, sending now, that will tell you everything you need to know.’

The phone went dead and Del opened the new message that suddenly beeped and his heart stopped as he stared at the two grainy images, one of him, one of Jesse, both were clearly marked as the next targets. Del took a worried deep breath before hurrying through to his bedroom to pack a bag.

As he packed, his mind returned to the silence from Jesse. Del remembered Franko’s warning, but maybe this was that chance he wanted to finally do good by Jesse, if they left this state together, safety in numbers and started somewhere new it would be beneficial to the both of them right now. 

Would Jesse be keen to leave, the target on his head might be a good push, and he had nothing going on here, some old guy trying it on with him but that was all, Del considered. Jesse wanted him, after last night that was clear in his mind. Jesse needed him now more than ever to get that chance at life, to finally be free and able to be the person he should have always been. So long as they could stay one step ahead of the callous murder squad now on their tails.

Del zipped up the bag, his internal power speech had done wonders for his anxiety. How was he going to reach Jesse? He thought about the steps, but Jesse wasn’t in a bad place, he had no reason to run there. He would try his house, but if that drew a blank, he wasn’t sure what he could do but then it hit him. After their recent chat he knew a place Jesse would be going to, it was almost too obvious and they owed him big time, and besides, they would always take a bribe if they didn’t agree with that.

* * *

Walt slowed down at the lights, they were not far from the house now and he glanced at the figure curled up in the passenger seat, he hadn’t said a word since they left the DEA offices.

‘Jesse, we’re almost home, you sure you’re ok with staying at my house?’ Walt checked. ‘You are more than welcome, even the ball buster is on board,’ he offered and saw a small glimpse of a smirk from the younger man to his description of Skyler.

‘So long as it’s not putting you out or anything,’ Jesse responded quietly.

‘It’s not, and you look like you need it,’ Walt observed.

‘Mr White?’ Jesse then spoke up, straightening a little as the car moved off again.

‘Yeah?’ Walt kept his eyes on the road, with only a quick look at Jesse, he had never seen him so listless and still before.

‘Nothing,’ Jesse quickly said and instead stared out of the window, as Walt pulled into his road.

Jesse’s body language and overall behaviour was not like he had ever seen before, clearly something was wrong, or had happened and Walt was glad Jesse wasn’t kicking up any fuss about staying at his house. If anything, to his surprise, Jesse seemed to be really keen on it, and that concerned him more.

They both got out of the car once parked up, and Walt opened the front door, letting Jesse go ahead of him. Jesse clung to his bag, he suddenly looked nervous and Walt ushered him through to sit on the sofa, noting that Jesse kept hold of his bag like it was protecting him. Walt left Jesse alone for a moment to check on Skyler, finding her in Junior’s room where she was just finishing up the bed.

‘Hey, everything ok?’ Skyler whispered.

‘He’s not himself, I’m not sure what happened last night. Hank didn’t give many details beyond Jesse had some sort of melt down earlier, but I think we just be patient and hopefully he’ll either speak to us or snap out of it,’ Walt sighed. ‘Always hard to tell with Jesse, he can be an expert in both bottling things up and wearing his heart on his sleeve.’

‘Well, you should have seen Marie just a short while ago, I think Hank’s going to have some explaining to do when he gets home,’ Skyler smiled.

‘Why?’ Walt asked.

‘As far as she’s concerned, we’ve invited the devil himself to stay with us, an ex-junkie what were we thinking?’ Skyler mocked.

‘Jesus, she’s so sheltered,’ Walt grinned.

‘It will only be for a couple of days, right?’ Skyler checked. ‘Just thinking of Holly, being under Marie’s influence.’

‘If he needs longer, we will find another way, it will only be two days here, I promise,’ Walt considered and lightly kissed Skyler on her forehead, in appreciation. ‘If he needs more time then I’ll take him to his home and stay with him there, or we’ll find someplace else to go if home is a trigger.’

‘I bet you really hope he needs longer, any excuse to get him to yourself,’ Skyler slyly smiled, as she walked past Walt and headed into the living room. Walt closely followed her and was pleased to see Jesse respond to Skyler as she welcomed him to their home.

‘Thanks for this,’ Jesse stammered. ‘Where’s the kids, the baby?’ Jesse then noticed.

‘They are staying with Hank and Marie for a couple days, it’s not a problem,’ Skyler smiled. ‘Would you like some food, a drink?’ Jesse considered it for a moment and then nodded his head. ‘I can make something simple I think we have a pizza in the freezer, shouldn’t take long,’ Skyler offered, and Jesse nodded his approval. ‘What do you drink?’

‘Just a water,’ Jesse stated, then put his bag down. ‘I can get the water, I don’t expect waiter service,’ Jesse said as he made moves to get to his feet.

‘Don’t be silly, you’re here to rest, so stay seated,’ Skyler stated before moving to the kitchen.

Jesse relaxed a little as he sat back again no longer clinging to his bag, and he saw Walt looking at him. ‘I’m ok,’ Jesse simply said.

‘What was wrong with you? What got Hank so worried?’ Walt asked as he sat down in the armchair opposite. ‘He told me you needed a doctor?’

‘I was having trouble breathing earlier, it’s a bit complicated to explain,’ Jesse rubbed his face. ‘Then I had a meltdown or something, it’s just been a really bad day, my head is all over the place.’

‘We don’t have to talk now if you don’t want to, I’ll be ready to listen when you need me to,’ Walt offered.

‘I’ve fucked up, that’s all you need to know,’ Jesse sat forward again and put his head in his hands, his fingers brushing his buzz cut. Walt could see Jesse’s eyes were watering, he looked so lost and at odds.

‘You’re safe to talk here, you don’t have to put an act on in front of Skyler, we are both here for you, Jesse,’ Walt spoke sincerely.

Those words seemed to go deeper than Walt could have ever expected, as a couple of sobs escaped from Jesse in reaction, he gripped his head tighter as if fighting his sudden emotions. Walt quickly moved to his side and put a comforting arm around his shoulders, and Skyler returned having started the cooking, carrying his water.

‘Jesse, whatever happened last night, we can help you, ok?’ Walt soothed.

Skyler stood a little uneasy to the side but saw Walt comforting Jesse, and she was transfixed by the sight. Having only heard about Jesse, how close they were, it was fascinating to see their bond and how much trust Jesse clearly had in Walter.

‘Here Jesse, take a few sips,’ Skyler moved forward with the glass and was pleased to see Jesse reach out and take it from her. He sniffed loudly before taking the few sips of the water, then put it down on the coffee table. That action seemed to bring him out a little again, he wiped his eyes and took a few breaths.

‘Sorry about that,’ Jesse sniffed again. ‘I just feel such a mess.’

‘What happened, Jesse?’ Walt urged, still with his arm around him.

Jesse seemed to slump with the weight of what he wasn’t telling them, he seemed pained and distressed as he kept making noises but no actual words, anguished cries. He wiped his eyes one last time and then cleared his throat before finally speaking rapidly to get it all out. ‘Last night Del drugged me, incapacitated me, told me my entire life was a lie. Then I was sick, almost choked to death,’ Jesse nervously laughed, took another breath and continued. ‘So, he bathed me, cleaned me up, then we,’ Jesse hesitated but then with more force continued. ‘Then I asked him to fuck me, I did that, I fucking asked the guy, feeling was slowly coming back and all I wanted was him,’ Jesse’s eyes began to water. ‘Er, then Hank turned up, some medical drama, here I am,’ Jesse took a deep breath before letting his head drop, and the sobbing resumed but this time he shrugged Walt’s arm off of him. ‘I’m sorry Mr White, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I’m going to do,’ he then began. ‘Say something, anything, tell me if you want me to leave.’

‘You are not leaving,’ Skyler spoke up first.

‘Why isn’t he saying anything?’ Jesse asked towards Skyler, then his expression turned to despair as Walt got to his feet and left the area, disappearing into the back rooms somewhere.

Jesse collapsed back onto the sofa, as his sobs wrecked his body and Skyler couldn’t bear to witness it so moved in fast and wrapped her arms around Jesse. She let him fall into her hold and she just held him close as he continued to cry, so raw it was difficult to break through to him, but she just kept saying soothing words, kept stroking him, anything to try and calm him down.

She couldn’t blame Walt for his reaction, she had seen the flash of pain at how cold Jesse had delivered the news he had fucked the monster Walt had tried to protect him from, and that he wanted it, it wasn’t forced. It can’t have been easy to listen to but at the same time Jesse’s pain was very real, he needed Walt, he was broken now more so because Walt had rejected him and Skyer knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

‘Just give Walt time,’ Skyler quietly said.

‘He hates me,’ Jesse sobbed.

‘No, no, no, Jesse, don’t say that,’ Skyler insisted. ‘He just needs to process what you just said, you did just bamboozle him.’

Jesse pushed himself up and out of Skyler’s hold, but she remained close to him. ‘You must think I’m an idiot, just arrive in your house and acting like a baby.’

‘Jesse, I share a house with two men and an actual baby, trust me, this is nothing,’ Skyler smiled warmly lightly stroking Jesse’s lower back.

Jesse smirked at that response, helping him shake his current mood a bit, he rubbed his eyes one more time, knowing he looked a state now. ‘Last time you spoke to me you were threatening me,’ Jesse remembered.

‘Oh boy, now let’s talk about an actual idiot, what was I thinking?’ Skyer grinned. 

‘I promise I never sold Mr White marijuana, like ever, gods honest truth,’ Jesse teased.

‘Ok, I believe you, now,’ Skyler returned. ‘You just forgot to mention the meth empire the two of you were cooking up, didn’t you?’

‘Must have skipped my mind,’ Jesse shrugged, and then seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment. ‘Did you have any inkling that I was moving a dead body when you confronted me that time?’

Skyler looked at Jesse, just a kid in her eyes and then he quickly reminds her that he’s not so innocent, that between him and Walt they had done some very bad things. ‘I can’t say I noticed that in truth, but explains why you were so easily freaked out by me. You had me paranoid for a while that I was really that scary,’ Skyler remembered.

‘You were,’ Jesse protested. ‘That was real, yo.’

‘Ok, one rule in this house, that word is not said, yo,’ Skyler reprimanded, and saw Jesse’s reaction. ‘I just hate the word, ok, nothing personal.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse nodded his head.

‘Smells like the pizza is ready,’ Skyler got to her feet and noticed Jesse doing likewise, following her to the kitchen. ‘Jesse, cupboard to the right, do you want to set the table?’

‘Sure,’ Jesse enthused and eagerly grabbed plates and napkins, and without needing to be told anything further he started to fuss over the table, even grabbing the condiments and then the pizza cutter that he noticed on the rack. Once done he hovered by the breakfast bar. ‘Do you know where Mr White likely went?’

‘Try the door at the end of the hall, the main bedroom, probably skulking in there,’ Skyler offered, sensing Jesse wanted to tell Walt himself that pizza was ready rather than just holler.

Jesse approached the closed door, gently tapping on it. ‘Mr White, can I come in?’ When Jesse heard nothing, he gently opened the door and looked inside to find Mr White sat on the edge of the double bed. ‘Mr White? Pizza is ready.’

‘I’ll be along in a moment,’ Walt offered, but didn’t move.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jesse offered, feeling his emotions rising once more, wishing he hadn’t been so dumb in the way he had spoken earlier, what was he thinking? If there was ever a way to make things worse, he seemed to be the expert.

‘Why, Jesse?’ Walt then simply asked.

‘Why am I sorry?’ Jesse asked confused.

Walt got to his feet. ‘No, Jesse, why did you let that monster anywhere near you, why let him back in?’

Jesse stood still, he had no answers to give and he looked clearly at odds. ‘I don’t know,’ he finally spoke. ‘I know I’ve fucked up, Mr White, I don’t even know who I am anymore, just a fucking waste of space.’

‘Don’t speak like that, Jesse,’ Walt moved a little closer.

‘Look, there’s pizza, we should, you know,’ Jesse gestured with little enthusiasm and left the room.

Walt looked upwards, unable to comprehend what Jesse had told him. He wanted to be ok with it, but it made zero sense. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was upset about, was it all of it, some of it, the parts that made him feel fiercely protective, why had Jesse allowed that monster to fuck him?

‘Walt,’ Skyler’s voice was stern as she walked towards him. ‘Get yourself out there, that young man desperately needs you right now, stop punishing him when he’s already beating himself up to a pulp!’

‘But you heard what he said.’ Walt began to protest.

‘I heard exactly what he said, and then I held him for five minutes solid as he broke down in my arms,’ Skyler offered, and Walt just looked at her. ‘This isn’t about you, Walt, what you feel right now doesn’t matter so just get out there, eat pizza, and try and help that very lost young man in our kitchen.’

Walt began to nod his head, Skyler’s words helping him as he numbly walked with her back to the main part of the house.

‘Shit,’ Skyler reacted first. ‘Where’s he gone?’ she asked frantically when she couldn’t see him at the table or in the living room. Walt immediately headed to the front door and opened it, scanning the area but Skyler’s voice called him back. ‘Walt, he’s out by the pool,’ she gestured.

Walt hurried back and didn’t hesitate as he stepped into the back yard, the reflections of the pool blinding him for a moment with the lights, but he soon made out the darkened figure of Jesse sat cross legged at the edge of the pool, he was staring into the water whilst trying to stop the tears falling as he rapidly wiped his eyes. Without word, Walt sidled up to him and sat down in a similar fashion and after a moment’s pause, he put his arm around Jesse’s shoulders.

‘It’ll be ok,’ Walt offered quietly.

‘Not sure about that,’ Jesse sniffed, wiping his eyes again.

‘You’re stronger than you think,’ Walt returned.

‘I wasn’t last night,’ Jesse said sadly, and then took a deep breath. ‘I don’t feel it right now either.’

‘Did you say he incapacitated you?’ Walt asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse agreed. ‘Gave me some experimental new drug, bit like that date rape stuff. I couldn’t move for ages and it’s only worn off completely in the last 3-4 hours, really messed up my lungs.’

‘That’s why you needed the doctor?’ Walt realised.

‘Yeah, was struggling to breath, it was horrible like the air just wasn’t there,’ Jesse remembered, his stare remaining transfixed on the water in front of them.

‘Is that what got you worked up?’

‘Part of it, yeah,’ Jesse admitted.

‘The stuff with Del, just try not to dwell on that,’ Walt suggested, taking his own advice as he spoke. ‘What you had with that man in the past clearly goes deeper than we may have realised, we just need to help you deal with it a bit better, yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ Jesse simply agreed.

‘The fact he gave you a paralysing drug, an untested one at that, and one that did harm you. That should be enough to remind you that he is a very sick man, his intentions are never going to be good,’ Walt continued.

‘Yeah, I know,’ Jesse tiredly rubbed his face. ‘He also told me something, showed me stuff that,’ Jesse paused clearly troubled. ‘I don’t know, Mr White, I can’t deal with it, I’m really struggling here,’ Jesse then admitted as a sob escaped, his emotions rising once again.

‘What did he tell you?’ Walt asked concerned, sensing Jesse’s pain.

‘My parents are not my parents,’ Jesse revealed, then took a nervous deep breath. ‘Aunt Ginny, she was my real mom.’

Walt heard the words and immediately believed them, something had always been off about Jesse’s family and this just made so much sense, but the fact it came from Del Burley made Walt cautious. ‘What did he show you?’

‘The birth certificate my parents always used, a photocopy that he says is a fake, and the real document that Doctor Carmichael obtained,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘Carmichael?’ Walt wished it had been a firmer source.

‘It all looks legit, and apparently my parents only have a photocopy of their version, which is odd, but I don’t know, not like I ever asked to see it, didn’t feel I needed to,’ Jesse offered, clearly in some state of shock.

‘OK, I think we need to maybe do a little more digging there, Jesse, let’s not take Del’s word for it, just in case,’ Walt suggested.

‘I want it to be true, but then that means I have no one,’ Jesse stated, his voice breaking slightly. ‘Apparently my dad died before I was even born.’

‘You have me,’ Walt remarked, squeezing Jesse a little. He felt so much smaller now in his hold, hardly anything of him under the oversized clothes he always wore, even if he had smarted up a little lately. ‘And it would just mean your parents are your aunt and uncle, your brother a cousin, but they are still family.’

‘You really think, if true, that I want anything to do with any of them?’ Jesse retorted. ‘I’m already disowned, estranged, this just makes it easier for me to forget they exist.’

‘Now come on, Jesse, I remember how worried you were for Jake, you can’t just drop him so easily,’ Walt offered.

‘Ok, you’re right, Jake will always be my kid brother,’ Jesse agreed.

‘Let’s go eat pizza, and maybe get an early night, you looked exhausted,’ Walt suggested.

‘I slept for hours at the DEA offices,’ Jesse pointed out, as he suddenly sprung up to his feet, glad to have his body working again.

‘Well, you look terrible,’ Walt noted as Jesse helped him to his feet.

‘Gee, thanks for the boost,’ Jesse complained, but didn’t move when Walt gestured. ‘Del isn’t going to go away,’ Jesse simply said.

‘I don’t suspect he will, no,’ Walt agreed.

‘I can’t fight him, he has this hold on me, Mr White, yesterday I just went with him in his car to his apartment because he suggested it,’ Jesse explained. ‘I know he’s dangerous, twisted, sick, whatever but when I’m with him I feel safe, I feel something I can’t explain. I don’t know if I can change that.’

Walt put a comforting hand on Jesse’s shoulder. ‘We just have to make sure he doesn’t get another chance to see you alone, and if he becomes a bigger problem, if your safety is compromised again then we will need to do something about that.’

Jesse saw the conviction in Walt’s eyes, Heisenberg was back just for a fleeting moment and it gave him some solace to know Mr White had his back. ‘Ok.’

‘Things are going to be very complicated going forward, did you hear about Gus Fring?’ Walt checked.

‘He was the one taken out?’ Jesse questioned.

‘You know that means we are free now, we can take our money and run, no more cooking,’ Walt enthused.

‘You’d really stop?’ Jesse asked.

‘I see no reason to carry on, Jesse,’ Walt said with conviction. ‘We’ve both made more than enough, we’re both multi-millionaires, you do realise this right? Now is as good a time as any to jump off and start to enjoy life a bit more, yes?’ Walt explained.

‘Hadn’t really thought about it,’ Jesse admitted.

‘Then start thinking about it, Jesse, fresh start, new you,’ he smiled.

‘You’re not going to start with that first day of the rest of my life crap again are you, Mr White?’ Jesse looked uncertain.

‘Come on, let’s start with some pizza before Skyler throws it in the bin,’ Walt smiled, putting his arm around Jesse and leading him back to the house.

* * *

Marie pulled up outside the nice-looking house, beside her sat Walter Jnr who she had just collected from his friend’s house as per Skyler’s orders. He was being silent and grumpy about his parents giving his bed to some junkie, and Marie was being careful not to explain why they were now parked outside this house. 

Earlier, Hank hadn’t noticed when she nipped onto his laptop when he took a toilet break, she wanted to see who this junkie was that was staying at her sister’s house, and whilst his record wasn’t quite as bad as she had feared she was still not happy. It was whilst viewing the record that she found his parent’s address, and seeing it was local made her cross. Marie couldn’t understand why they were not taking responsibility. She had noted the address down, and now here she was in her car sat outside their property, with a disinterested teenager next to her.

‘Wait here, I just need to speak to the lady,’ Marie offered vaguely towards Junior, as she gathered her purse and he grunted in response.

Getting out of the car she approached the front door with purpose and rang the bell, she wasn’t sure what she was expecting but the petite motherly looking woman wasn’t it.

‘Hello?’

Marie flustered for a moment. ‘Hi, you don’t know me but it’s about your son,’ Marie began.

‘My son? Jake is here with me right now, what has he done?’

Marie paused, she hadn’t factored there would be siblings. ‘No, sorry, your other son.’

‘Jesse?’ the woman questioned, and her demeanour suddenly changed. She nervously glanced back into the house and slightly closed the door. ‘Now is not a good time.’

‘Now is exactly the right time,’ Marie objected. ‘He’s sick, and in need of help and you’re not even lifting a finger to help, expecting my sister and brother-in-law to pick up the pieces,’ Marie ranted.

‘Sick?’ the woman asked.

‘I’m not sure of the details but he needs help. Now, you’re lucky my sister and her husband are good people, but it’s really not on, they have a 15-year-old and a new born in their house, and I’m not happy about a junkie being in their home.’

The woman showed a flash of concern but then hesitated. ‘That’s the very reason we are estranged, he’s had plenty of chances here, and he didn’t take one of them. We have a young son who needs to be protected, especially after what happened because of Jesse.’

Marie looked at her. ‘What happened, what did he do to his brother? I need to know if my own nephew returns to that house, and he’s still there.’

‘Well, it wasn’t directly Jesse, but associates of his,’ the woman answered. ‘Look it doesn’t matter, what is wrong with Jesse, why are you here?’

‘From what I’ve been told he’s having breathing issues, panic attacks, he just needs an eye kept on him, is that really too much to ask?’ Marie asked.

‘Diane, can we talk a second?’

Marie wasn’t aware there was another person in the house, and she nodded her head when Diane gestured that she needed to just see what was needed. Unsure why the husband couldn’t come to the door himself, Marie waited and to her surprise when Diane returned, she was all smiles.

‘You know, you’re right,’ Diane stated. ‘Maybe I should go and see Jesse, with the idea of seeing if he’ll come home, especially if he’s sick and needs looking after.’

‘That’s what I’ve been saying, that’s great,’ Marie beamed, feeling she had done some good work. ‘I can take you around there now if you’re not busy.’

‘Just give me a few minutes, I just need to turn the dinner down, and make sure Jake is ok,’ Diane returned to the house, closing the door and Marie returned to her car seeing Junior had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. Once settled, Marie found her cell and called her sister.

‘Skyler? It’s me, no Holly is absolutely fine, she’s with Hank right now, look, I’m coming round I just want to speak to you and Walt, you will thank me, I promise,’ Marie stated. ‘No, it’s important Skyler, just trust me on this, I’m guessing the junkie is still awake? Good, good, ok I should be there in twenty minutes. Yes, Junior is with me right now, I picked him up at nine. He’s fine, just a bit grumpy about losing his bed to a deadbeat junkie. Ok, you can talk to him when I get there, I have to go,’ Marie signed off quickly willing the front door to open.

Meanwhile inside the house Diane returned to the living room, she glanced at Adam then to their visitor, Del Burley who had made himself at home on her sofa for the best part of two hours already.

‘Well, well, wasn’t that a piece of luck,’ Del beamed. ‘Ok, I want you to go with that mad lady and just give Jesse a message from me, and hand him this phone.’

Diane walked over and took the phone from Del. ‘I’m not sure about this, are you sure Jesse will want to hear from you, after all this time?’

‘Diane, you misunderstand, Jesse was with me just last night, we’re together again,’ Del grinned.

Adam got to his feet with clear surprise. ‘He remembers?’

‘Everything,’ Del offered. ‘That’s why I was really here, I was half expecting him to show up, so we could tell you ourselves.’

‘The lady said he was sick, needing to be looked after,’ Diane then stated.

‘It’s true, I guess you’re out the loop a little bit. No surprise since you disowned him like you did,’ Del sniped, seeing his words affecting Diane as he hoped they would. ‘He has developed something of an eating disorder, plus the years of drug abuse are starting to catch up with him,’ Del revealed, exaggerating for effect.

‘I still don’t understand how you can help him,’ Diane stated pointedly.

‘Diane,’ Adam stressed, his eyes looking at Diane in warning.

‘All you have to do is give him the phone and tell him to contact me, tell him I have a plan to get us away from here, tell him those who killed his boss are not stopping with his boss,’ Del then stated. ‘He will understand what that means.’

‘Is he in danger?’ Diane asked suddenly concerned.

‘That’s cute, you almost convinced me that you care,’ Del stated and Diane looked just about ready to rip him apart, but Adam quickly moved to her side.

‘Diane, dear, just pass on that damn message,’ Adam responded. ‘Then this whole sorry mess will be over, correct?’ Adam asked towards Del.

‘You will never see me, or Jesse again,’ Del agreed.

Diane looked at Del, then to Adam and knowing she had no choice she sighed. ‘Well, I guess this is goodbye, Del, I trust you will not be here when I get back?’

‘You pass that message on, and there will be no reason for me to be here when you return,’ Del stated.

Diane took one last look at him, absolute disdain on her face before she turned and headed outside to the waiting car.


	3. Pizza!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening meal is interupted by Marie's do-gooding gesture... it doesn't go as planned...

Walt was not happy, as he glared at Skyler. Jesse just continued to pick at the pizza in front of him, before taking a drink.

‘Why is Marie coming over?’ Walt asked again.

‘I told you, I don’t know,’ Skyler returned.

‘Jesse needs to rest,’ Walt explained.

‘I’m fine,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘Trust me, you do not want to meet Marie,’ Walt snapped then turned back to Skyler. ‘If she comes in here throwing insults at Jesse, I cannot guarantee my patience.’

‘Insults?’ Jesse caught. ‘What have I done?’

Skyler glared at Walt, then a softer expression as she turned to Jesse. ‘She’s just concerned about you being here, with your past drug use.’

‘Ah, ok, I get it,’ Jesse reasoned, and Walt just stared at him. ‘What? I’ve done hard drugs, man, and you have kids and shit, she doesn’t know me.’

‘You want us to throw you out?’ Walt checked.

‘No, I’m just saying I get why she has concerns,’ Jesse returned. ‘My own parents didn’t let me see my brother for years even when I lived in the same house, so I’m used to being judged. I guess it comes with the territory of my poor life choices.’

Something in the manner Jesse spoke caused Walt to chuckle and was pleased to see the smirk from Jesse in response.

‘They stopped you seeing your own brother, even when you lived at home?’ Skyler caught.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse shrugged dismissively. ‘They used to lock me in my room and would freak out if I went anywhere near him, I was considered too much of a bad influence.’

‘I thought Walt told me you went to live with your Aunt at what, fifteen, sixteen? You weren’t taking hard drugs before then, were you?’ Skyler asked, clearly confused.

‘No, no I wasn’t, it was a little complicated. They just never liked me being around Jake, and then they discovered I’d started smoking,’ Jesse simply answered, staring intently at his pizza now as the memories came back to him.

‘His parents are pretty special,’ Walt spoke up, noticing Jesse looking a little uncomfortable suddenly.

‘Don’t matter no more,’ Jesse remarked, he pushed his plate away and gripped his hands on the table, clearly focusing on keeping it together.

‘Jesse,’ Walt brought his hand up to cover Jesse’s hands on the table, and was pleased to see Jesse relaxed with the gesture.

‘What am I missing?’ Skyler asked, aware things were going unspoken.

‘Just found something out, still need to check it out, it’s nothing,’ Jesse dismissed and removed his hands from Walt’s hold.

The doorbell rang allowing the topic to be dropped as Walt went to answer, Skyler took a deep breath hoping things didn’t kick off immediately.

Walt opened the door and glared at Marie, then clocked the person with her. ‘No, Marie, whatever game you think you are playing, no,’ Walt stressed and went to close the door, but Marie stopped him.

‘You will let us both in, Walter,’ Marie insisted and tried to push past.

‘That woman is not coming in here, not tonight, not now,’ Walt looked at Diane Pinkman with fury.

‘I’ve been told my son is here,’ Diane stood her ground.

Inside Jesse heard his mother’s voice and visibly panicked, he was not ready to face her and was confused why she was there. Not knowing what else to do he immediately got to his feet and went through the patio doors into the back yard. Skyler moved with concern to the front door.

‘Marie, what have you done?’ Skyler demanded.

‘This is the junkie’s mother, I thought she should know he was sick, so she asked to come here to speak to her son,’ Marie said indignantly.

‘You want to speak to Jesse? Your son? Really?’ Walt sneered. ‘And why the hell do you want to do that right now, where have you been all those other time’s he’s needed you?’ he snapped.

‘This lady told me you are taking care of him,’ Diane simply said, not letting Walt intimidate her. ‘I just want to check that he is ok, and let him know that if he wants to, he can return home.’

‘You are seriously saying you would open your door to Jesse again? This is a joke,’ Walt dismissed and walked away from the door, Skyler saw her chance to step forward.

‘Marie, I’m not convinced this is your best plan, there’s a lot of history here between Jesse and his parents,’ Skyler stated.

‘You should not have that junkie in your house, especially if he can’t even be trusted in his own home, with his own brother,’ Marie hissed.

‘Please, just let me talk to Jesse,’ Diane requested having glared at Marie for a moment.

‘Trust me, he does not want to speak to you,’ Walt stated loudly from the living room.

‘I’m not going to leave until I speak to him,’ Diane stated.

‘Mom,’ Jesse’s voice spoke up.

Diane turned around to see Jesse standing on the driveway, having walked around the house from the back garden.

‘Jesse!’ Diane exclaimed brightly, and immediately moved towards him and didn’t miss Jesse stepping back wishing to keep a distance between them. ‘Jesse, can’t a mother hug her son now?’

‘What do you want?’ Jesse asked, avoiding looking at her.

‘I’m not going to talk to my son with an audience, Jesse,’ Diane motioned to the group still stood at the door.

Jesse gestured for her to follow him and he guided her to the side gate to return to the back garden. When they reached the pool, Jesse stopped and turned to face her. ‘I don’t want anything from you, I don’t even know why you are here. If that crazy lady was trying to tell you I should be at home you can forget that, there’s no way I’m ever going back there with Dad, I’m staying here.’

‘You look older, that haircut ages you,’ Diane mentioned softly. ‘Those scars on your face, Jesse, what’s been going on with you?’

‘Don’t, ok?’ Jesse pleaded. ‘Stop pretending to care, just don’t,’ Jesse complained, trying to keep it together.

‘I’m so sorry, Jesse,’ Diane simply said and there was a silence between them for a moment. ‘The last time we saw you, Jesse, you were recovering from being shot. You had that man pursuing you? That crazy young guy, Grant wasn’t it?’ She checked and Jesse just numbly nodded his head. ‘You scared your father, not that he will never admit it, but I could tell, he said he saw genuine fear in you,’ Diane spoke with care. ‘What are you mixed up in, Jesse, please tell me?’

‘The same thing I’ve always been mixed up in, Mom,’ Jesse said pointedly. ‘Ever since you and Dad sold your teenage son to Del Burley.’

‘Jesse, that’s not what happened,’ Diane tried to protest.

‘Cut the bull shit, I know everything, I know what happened,’ Jesse stressed. ‘I know you took money from a pervert so you could give Jake the best schooling! I know exactly what I had to sacrifice for his A-grades!’ Jesse raged. ‘And I now know that it didn’t even start with that did it? You messed me up long before that, and not just with those stupid pills, but with the lies, right? The big fat lies all my life!’

‘What are you talking about?’ Diane asked with shock.

‘I know you’re not my mom,’ Jesse threw back loudly.

Diane looked back at Jesse with shock, and her face fell. ‘How can you say that Jesse?’

Jesse just stood there, his emotions rising on seeing his mom’s reaction, suddenly feeling the weight of what he’d just said, and he started to take some deep breaths. ‘I know Aunt Ginny was my real mom.’

‘Who told you that?’ Diane asked, her own emotions on the surface serving to confuse Jesse as he became flustered.

‘I’ve seen my real birth certificate,’ Jesse simply said with less gusto, avoiding her devastated stare.

‘Tell me who showed you that, Jesse,’ Diane stated, her voice wavering with emotion.

Jesse shifted uneasily stood opposite her, he could feel the beginnings of another panic attack, but his brain was buzzing too wildly for him to care. Had Del tricked him? Had he just destroyed any hope of ever reconnecting with the only woman he’d ever called Mom? ‘Del Burley,’ Jesse quietly said finally.

‘Right,’ Diane couldn’t hide her disappointment. ‘And of course you’d listen to him, just like Adam, I bet you hang off that man’s every word like he’s some sort of god as well,’ she simply spat, and Jesse didn’t miss her wiping her eyes quickly.

‘What does that mean?’ Jesse had to ask, his confusion clear.

‘I know you’re back with him, with Del, oh yes, he couldn’t wait to rub that in our faces,’ Diane spoke with disgust. ‘Despite all our best efforts, Jesse, in very difficult circumstances to protect you from that monster, you just jump right back in bed with him the first minute you remembered, didn’t you?’

‘No, Mom, it wasn’t like that,’ Jesse started to back track, unsure how this was all on him suddenly, as his anger flared. ‘And what the hell, I only know that monster because you sold me to him!’ he snapped back.

‘Oh, so you’re still happy to call me mom, when just now you were throwing it back in my face like an insult, like I was the worst person on Earth, well I’m sorry Jesse but it seems that your father,’ she paused. ‘Adam, was always right about you, I’m seeing it now,’ Diane stated, clearly hurt as she went into her bag and pulled out the phone. ‘Here, your lover asked me to give you this, he wants you to call him. I really hope you find happiness, Jesse, but I fear you just prefer to invite misery to surround you.’

‘Mom, wait,’ Jesse called out, as she started to head towards the side gate.

She stopped and walked a little way back. ‘I nearly forgot, Del also said that the people who killed your boss are not stopping there, whatever that means, said you’d understand.’

‘Shit,’ Jesse suddenly panicked, understanding it completely as his mom just turned and continued to leave. ‘Mom! Wait,’ Jesse called again, falling to his knees, he was holding arm around his ribs as Diane reluctantly stopped and turned around expecting to hear more pleading from Jesse, but instead she saw the state he was in and knew instantly that he wasn’t in a good way. 

‘Jesse,’ Diane hurried back.

‘Get my bag, the black bag,’ Jesse gasped, almost doubled over struggling to hold himself up as he knelt on the ground.

Without hesitation Diane hurried into the house, demanding to know where Jesse’s bag was. Walter reacted first and grabbed it, but didn’t hand it to Diane, instead rushing into the garden finding Jesse on his knees.

‘Jesse, here’s your bag,’ Walt rushed to his side, followed by Diane. Both Skyler and Marie stood by the door looking on with concern, and behind them Walt Junior looked on unsure what was going on having only just woken up in Marie’s car, and finding he was back home.

Jesse quickly unzipped the bag and in a blind panic rummaged around the contents inside, displacing them, until he finally got an inhaler out. He took a dose with a deep breath, then focused on his breathing as he noticeably calmed down, thankful that the air was getting in again. ‘Thanks,’ he managed after a few tense moments. Both Walter and Diane hovered around him, as he put the inhaler back into his bag, but as he did so he noticed something he hadn’t spotted before at the bottom.

He took the brown envelope out of the bag, already knowing what it was as he looked at his Mom looking back at him. With shaky hands Jesse took the two documents out, the photocopy and the original of his birth certificate that Del had shown him the previous night.

‘Del must have put these in my bag,’ Jesse realised. ‘My birth certificates.’

‘Up to his usual games I see,’ Diane simply replied.

Jesse took some more breaths. ‘You said he told you about him and me, what happened last night? That means he came to see you today, yeah?’

‘Surprise visit this afternoon, we haven’t seen him in years,’ Diane sighed. ‘Obviously the Jake incident put us in contact with Franko again, but Del coming to visit was a surprise. We read in the papers that he had stepped down, maybe suspected he might be sniffing around especially in light of recent events, but he just wouldn’t leave. All afternoon he’s been on our sofa making more and more excuses to stay,’ Diane recalled. ‘Then that lady showed up, and he admitted he’d been waiting for you to show up, he seemed to think you’d be coming over.’

‘Because of this,’ Jesse put the certificates back in the envelope. ‘I was supposed to buy another phone, but I got sick, so couldn’t call him. This must have been his back-up plan if I didn’t do that, I’d find these, get angry again and storm over to confront you both.’

‘You never did do things by the book, Jesse,’ Diane half smiled.

‘Just can’t be trusted,’ Jesse agreed as he got shakily to his feet, Walt standing close in case he stumbled. ‘I’m sorry Mom, you’re the last person I want to upset, but I’m just struggling right now.’

‘No, Jesse, I am one of the last people you should ever apologise to,’ Diane frowned, as she stepped closer. ‘I’m sure you must have so many questions now those memories have returned,’ she brushed the side of Jesse’s head. 

‘A few,’ Jesse admitted.

‘I have a few of my own too, to be fair,’ Diane offered.

‘You do?’ Jesse was unsure why she would have any questions.

‘Why are you staying with your old chemistry teacher, Jesse?’ Diane had to asked. ‘Especially as he failed you in school, what am I missing?’

Jesse had to smirk as Mr White stepped forward. ‘We bumped into each other a month or so ago, around the time Jake was in trouble, Jesse was consumed with worry and asked for my help, he knew I had someone in my family in law enforcement,’ Walt explained. ‘His capacity for information recall had improved a little since high school at least,’ he teased.

‘Can I just ask one question, mom?’ Jesse then spoke up, looking troubled.

‘Of course,’ Diane agreed.

‘Was it worth it?’ Jesse asked, seeing the confusion before he continued. ‘The money you took for Jake’s education, did it serve Jake well at least, will he have a good life?’ Jesse finished.

‘No,’ Diane quickly answered, and Jesse couldn’t hide the hurt.

‘I thought Jake was doing great at school?’ Jesse countered, unable to hide his disappointment.

‘Oh, he’s doing great, being fast tracked to great success, but that wasn’t your question, Jesse, you asked if it was worth it. My answer will always be no,’ she said sadly. ‘What happened to you as a consequence of what Adam arranged for you, that will never be worth what we received in return,’ Diane said honestly. ‘Losing you from our family, losing my sister’s respect and never being able to seek forgiveness will haunt me till my dying day,’ Diane admitted with a heavy heart. ‘And now that man telling you what he has, a secret Ginny begged to remain secret forever, it’s not been worth it at all, none of it,’ Diane simply answered.

Jesse looked at odds as he stood before his mom. ‘She never wanted me to know the truth?’ he simply asked, and saw his Mom nod her head to agree, and then without word Jesse walked back to the house carrying his bag.

‘Jesse,’ Diane called after him, but he just walked past Skyler, Marie and Junior, into the house. After a moment Skyler went into the house after Jesse and Diane simply looked at Walt. ‘Look after him, just make sure he finds something better than this,’ Diane requested sadly. ‘And please for the love of god, keep him away from that bastard Burley.’

‘I will do my best,’ Walt simply said. ‘In time he will probably still have some questions, don’t give up on him just yet, he is still family.’

‘He will always be my son, Mr White,’ Diane responded. ‘And my door will always be open, but my husband, and his associates have made it difficult,’ she paused. ‘Give me your phone, you can have my cell phone, just in case.’

Walt gave Diane his cell and she proceeded to put her number into it, before handing it back. ‘Thank you, I do my best to make sure Jesse is ok, I’ll make sure of it, you don’t have to worry.’

‘All I’ve ever done is worry about that boy, you see the state of him? The bruises, the scars, Mr White I fear he’s mixed up in something he can’t escape and maybe never will,’ Diane sighed and then offered an ironic laugh. ‘We only took him in because my sister feared what his life would be like if he stayed with her. She was a single ex-addict, she couldn’t take on a kid, and the only other option was to give him up for adoption. Now I wonder if that might not have been a better choice for him.’

Walt frowned in reaction. ‘I won’t ever try to understand the motives of what happened in his past, but Jesse is still a good person despite everything that has happened to him. He just has bad judgement when it comes to who he trusts, and maybe just needs a few breaks in his favour now but he’ll be fine, he will make you proud one day,’ Walt assured her. ‘I’ve never met a stronger person in my life, he never gives up, he always has hope.’

‘Just like his mother, you really have just described my sister,’ Diane smiled fondly. ‘I love my husband dearly, he’s given me so much but when it comes to Jesse, I don’t think I will ever forgive him for Jesse, and if anything happens to Jesse, if he leaves this Earth before me there will only be one person I will blame, and after him I’ll only blame myself.’

‘Marie,’ Walt gestured for his sister-in-law to come over. ‘I think Diane needs to go home now.’ Marie looked a little shell shocked by the turn of events, as she wandered over. ‘I don’t know what you were playing at Marie, I can only assume you thought you were doing something good here tonight, but I hope you’ve learned a lesson,’ Walt spoke calmly.

‘So, are we taking Jesse back with you?’ Marie checked.

Diane shook her head. ‘I think it’s best he stays someplace safe, don’t you?’ Diane offered. ‘I guess when you looked me up there wasn’t a flag on the fact my husband used to beat and drug Jesse, and that he sold Jesse to his friend who groomed him as a kid, and right now both men are at our house still wanting more. But what does that matter to you? Jesse is still just a junkie loser to you, isn’t he?’

Marie stared in shock at Diane, and behind her Walt offered Diane a supportive stare knowing that can’t have been easy to admit out loud.

‘Let’s get you home,’ Marie flustered. ‘What about Junior? Should I still take him, I think he wants to talk to you and Skyler.’

‘I’ll drive Junior over once we’ve had a chat with him, no doubt I will have a few corrections to make on the nature of who Jesse is, and why he’s staying with us,’ Walt sneered. ‘Just stop interfering in things you don’t understand, Marie, and stay the hell away from anything relating to Jesse Pinkman going forward, can you do that?’ Walt mocked smiled as he spoke, the underlying anger clear to Marie that he wasn’t happy with her conduct.

Walt watched as the two ladies disappear towards the side gate, and let out a sigh before returning to the house and finding Skyler entering the kitchen.

‘Is he in Junior’s room?’ Walt asked.

‘Yeah, he seems a bit shell shocked,’ Skyler admitted. 

‘I’ll leave him be for a bit, before I go and see him,’ Walt considered and Skyler nodded her head to agree, as she began to make some coffee. ‘We should talk to Junior, don’t want to leave it too late to run him over to Hank’s.’

* * *

Jesse opened his eyes suddenly, feeling numb as he moved from the bed to the space on the floor under the window. He was aware some time had passed, but he couldn’t get settled as he wrapped his arms around his legs. He jumped when the phone his mom gave him buzzed, and he glanced at it to see Del was ringing but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. Instead he closed his eyes and focused on remaining calm, he saw the screen indicate that there had been five previous missed calls. 

The buzzing eventually stopped, and Jesse glanced around in the darkness of the room, a typical teenagers room Jesse considered, and it saddened him that he never really got to experience a normal teenager life. Walt’s son was the age he was when he first met Del, when his father started beating him, drugging him. Walt’s son had no idea how lucky he was just to have the maniac Heisenberg as his father, even Heisenberg treated his son with more respect than Jesse ever got, he realised sadly.

The phone started buzzing again, Del ringing once more and Jesse hugged himself again, just wanting the phone to stop. He was about to throw it across the room when it suddenly stopped, but seconds later a text came through.

‘Diane Pinkman knows where you are, don’t force me to get that information from her.’

Jesse froze as he read that, was it a threat? Would he seriously hurt his mom to get to him?

Another text pinged through. ‘Jesse, please I’m desperate, I need to see you, things are happening and it’s not safe in this city for either of us anymore, Fring’s death is just the start.’

Jesse hadn’t given much thought to Fring’s death, or who was behind it, but he was safe, surely? No one knew his involvement, or Mr White’s identity, why would they come after them? Jesse then wondered how Del was involved, he wasn’t in Mexico, surely Franko should be the target but maybe by default, being Franko’s boss at the time had put Del in the firing line. He then thought of Mike, and a new panic rose, he should warn him.

Another text alert sounded. ‘Jesse, this isn’t helping, I’m driving to your parent’s home.’

Jesse took a deep breath, then picked up the phone and began typing.

‘Stop. Give me some time.’

‘We don’t have time.’ The reply came back quickly and then the phone rang again and Jesse dropped it onto the carpet, putting his head in his hands.

The phone stopped buzzing, quickly followed by a new message alert sound. ‘Why won’t you talk to me, Jesse? What’s going on, is everything ok?’

Jesse started rocking back and forth, unsure how to deal with this barrage of messages.

An alert sounded again. ‘OK, I’m at your parent’s house, Diane needs to tell me where you are, I’m worried, I need to see you.’

Jesse closed his eyes, and after a moment of anguish he picked the phone back up and dialled Del’s number.

‘Don’t go near my mother,’ Jesse whispered, emotional distress clear in his voice.

‘She’s not your mother, Jesse, remember?’ Del returned calmly.

‘Fuck off,’ Jesse returned sharply.

‘Ok, look, I know it’s probably still sore, I’m sorry,’ Del offered. ‘But please, just tell me where you are, we need to leave this city, our lives are in danger.’

‘Yours maybe, why is mine?’ Jesse asked.

‘Don’t underestimate Declan’s gang, Jesse, I’m in this mess because I did underestimate him,’ Del admitted. ‘I told him I’d sort Gus Fring out, and just a couple days later he’d already lost patience. Can you really afford to be so arrogant as to not believe he’s not done his homework, remember how quickly Gus told me about you, Jesse, took hardly any time. Why do you think he didn’t do the same when talking to Declan?’

Jesse hadn’t considered that and started to get concerned.

Del continued to talk. ‘You were paraded in front of the cartel, Jesse, you think they didn’t broadcast your picture to those who needed to know Gus Fring’s cook had been acquired? You know that greasy bastard Eladio posed for a picture with you, you think that was just for his family album?’

Jesse’s breath caught, he had forgotten the picture that was taken, and suddenly his mind crashed with the very real notion that maybe he had been connected to Gus Fring.

‘Sounds like you’re on my page now,’ Del stated. ‘Look Jesse, I’m not messing around here. I need to,’ he paused. ‘We need to get out of town, Jesse, I’m not planning on leaving you behind, we are both in danger and we need to leave, tonight if possible.’

‘I can’t,’ Jesse offered quietly.

‘Why not, where are you?’ Del asked.

The door to the room suddenly opened, Jesse realised that he had heard the knock but hadn’t registered it and he suddenly panicked. ‘I have to go,’ he cut off the call and dropped the phone on the carpet.

‘Jesse?’ Walt clocked immediately that Jesse had been on the phone and he walked briskly to where Jesse was cowering on the floor, he swiftly picked up the phone. ‘I thought you said your cell was broken, that you didn’t have one?’

Jesse’s mind was still spinning from talking to Del, as he glanced up at Mr White with fear. ‘My Mom gave me that.’

‘Your Mom gave you a cell phone? Why is she giving you this, it looks like a burner?’

Jesse rubbed his face, he had nothing to say, anything he could say would just make things much worse and then his head dropped when he heard the phone buzzing again.

‘Del Burley is calling,’ Walt showed Jesse the screen, his name clearly in the display as calling. ‘Your Mom gave you a phone which just happened to be a number Del Burley knows? Were you just talking to Del Burley?’ Walt killed the call and then with ease went to the messages, and then the call log. ‘Jesse, what the fuck is going on with you? You’ve spoken to Burley, like just now?’

‘He wouldn’t stop, you see the messages,’ Jesse returned with despair. ‘He was threatening to find out where I am from my mom, I had to respond, I don’t want him hurting her!’ Jesse stressed, still hugging his legs, drawn right up to his face, the tears falling as his anxiety rose.

The phone rang again, and Jesse gestured to make his point. This time Walt hit ok and brought the phone up to his ear and lowered his voice, Heisenberg clearly taking over as he began to speak. ‘You will stop calling this number, Burley. Pinkman can no longer be reached on this phone, do you understand?’

‘Who is this?’ Del asked.

‘You know my name,’ Walt sneered and there was a pause.

‘Heisenberg?’ Del ventured.

‘Your god damn right, it is,’ Walt stressed with anger. ‘And Jesse is off limits, do you understand? Jesse is here with me now, he is protected, and he will remain with me, there is no danger to us.’

There was another bout of silence, but Walt could tell Del was still on the phone, his breathing could be heard. ‘Listen, I need help, what would it take for you to help get me out of this city? I need protection as well. They are coming for me, my apartment was ransacked just an hour ago, man, I’m desperate here. I didn’t realise Jesse was safe, I only wanted to ensure the same, we are on the same page.’

‘Yet I find you terrorising my partner, playing games with him?’ Walt stated firmly. ‘Threatening his family?’

‘No, they were not games, and I only said those things because I was desperate to find him, to protect him, save him!’ Del said with desperation. ‘Jesse is genuinely in danger, you have to believe me, and I only want him to be safe, I didn’t realise he was with you. Please, now I know I beg you, please, I’m going to be dead in just hours if you don’t help me. Franko can’t get me any people here for two days, maybe more,’ Del panicked.

‘Tell me why Pinkman is in danger,’ Walt demanded.

‘Hang on, I’ll send something to the phone, don’t hang up, please don’t hang up,’ Del stressed, and Walt now believed that Del Burley was genuinely scared, his tone and manner were too real to be faked for the time they had been on the call. The phone then buzzed and Walt downloaded the first phone, it was a little grainy but it was a picture of Del, with words above saying ‘Target 1’ and underneath it had Del Burley’s name, then Walt looked at the second photo and Walt froze, seeing a dishevelled Jesse, half of Don Eladio’s face and arm around his shoulder, and the words ‘Target 2, Jesse Pinkman.’

‘Where did you get these photos?’ Walt asked, his voice still low.

‘They were sent to Franko, as a warning in light of Gus Fring’s murder. To demonstrate their power and ambition in light of what Franko did, when ordering Fring to deal with Eladio,’ Del explained tiredly.

‘My only concern is Pinkman, why should I worry about you? I know what you did, what you are, I’m struggling to understand here,’ Walt stated bluntly.

‘Ok, I get that, I really do but you say Pinkman is your partner, yeah?’ Del stated and heard Heisenberg agree. ‘You trust him, you clearly want to protect him, do what’s best for him, ok?’ Del continued, and again Heisenberg agreed. ‘So, on this phone, I want to hear you give Jesse the choice, let me live, or let me die, he can decide, I’ll accept whatever Jesse wants, ok?’

Walt rolled his eyes and looked at his partner, who in turn was looking exhausted and at his wits end. As much as he hoped Jesse would do the right thing, right now, and end all association he feared it wouldn’t be that easy, and with some reluctance he got Jesse’s attention.

‘Jesse, we need to get you out of this city. I’ve seen enough to know the threat it genuine on you and on Del Burley. I now need to know how you want me to deal with Del,’ Walt asked, looking at Jesse who seemed a little dazed.

‘In what way?’

‘Do we let him live or die?’ Walt asked straight.

‘You, you mean, do we help him, or do we leave him, likely facing Declan’s men?’ Jesse stammered.

‘He has his own people arriving in two days, he could lay low and be perfectly ok,’ Walt offered.

‘These people managed to kill Gus,’ Jesse simply responded as an answer, he rubbed his face.

‘I won’t judge you, whichever option you choose,’ Walt said a little softer.

Jesse closed his eyes and then looked upwards. ‘I can’t,’ he simply said. ‘I can’t let him die like that, I have enough blood on these hands,’ Jesse said just stopping himself saying Mr White, knowing Del was listening. ‘Don’t make me chose death for Del Burley, please,’ Jesse begged.

Walt took a deep breath and returned the phone to his ear. ‘Ok, hang tight, I’m going to talk to some people, and I will call you within the hour with a plan to get you both out of this city.’ Walt finished the call and then knelt down in front of Jesse. ‘You did the right thing, Jesse.’

Jesse sobbed as he looked up at Mr White. ‘I couldn’t do it, not after everything, I can’t see anyone else get hurt,’ he wiped his eyes. ‘What’s going to happen now?’

‘We need a quick exit, I need to speak to Mike,’ Walt frowned. ‘Jesse, if we bring Del Burley along for this ride, if that’s what we have to do to uphold our word then he will work out that I’m Heisenberg. More concerning to me is that he will have direct access to you, are you strong enough to deal with that or do we need to work out something that splits us up, which is more risky?’

Jesse composed himself. ‘If you are there, Mr White, if you can keep an eye on him, and on me, I should be ok, yeah?’ Jesse asked with hope in his eyes.

‘Happy to do that, Jesse,’ Walt half smiled.

‘But don’t go all over-protective boyfriend, that will be weird and stuff, yo,’ Jesse then remarked. ‘Shit, and don’t tell your wife I said yo in her house,’ he quickly offered.

‘Are you more afraid of my wife than this Declan character right now? It’s hard to tell,’ Walt said with amusement.

‘I’ve never not been scared of her,’ Jesse smirked. ‘Are we really going to road trip with Del Burley, it’s going to be so weird, Mr White, you’ve never seen us together. I don’t even know how I’ll be,’ Jesse admitted.

‘Do you love him?’ Walt genuinely asked.

‘No,’ Jesse snapped. ‘But he loves me,’ Jesse then shrugged.

Walt offered a small smile. ‘Then this should be interesting, because we had a thing, didn’t we? Early days but, I’m hoping it’s not gone away.’

‘It’s not,’ Jesse looked at Walt, and he looked at odds. ‘I’m so dead, this is going to be hell,’ he rubbed his buzz cut.

‘Hey,’ Walt lifted Jesse’s chin to look at him. ‘Just let me know if you want me to protect you and I will, Jesse, and you know Mike will, we could be a formidable wall to Del Burley.’

‘Yeah, you both will be,’ Jesse seemed to take a lot of comfort from that. ‘I’d like that.’

‘Then that’s sorted, we will keep his dirty hands off you,’ Walt stood back up and offered Jesse a hand to get to his feet. ‘Grab what sleep you can, and I’ll go and discuss plans with Mike.’

Jesse nodded his head and climbed into the single bed, feeling a lot calmer about things as he quickly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Mike walked up to Walter White’s house and found Walt already opening the door for him as the bright morning sun bathed the driveway, and Mike was ushered inside.

‘You just keep surpassing yourself, Walter,’ Mike remarked.

‘Don’t start, Mike,’ Walt stressed as he closed the door behind him.

‘I honestly thought the last bad idea you had couldn’t be beat, but you just had to prove me wrong,’ Mike continued. ‘Tell me again why we are helping Del Burley?’

‘It’s complicated,’ Walt simply said. ‘Jesse isn’t in a good place, and he didn’t want us to be the reason Del would likely be taken out by the same guys who took Gus out.’

‘Are we ready to go? What did you arrange with Del?’ Mike asked.

‘I just need to wake Jesse up, and we are collecting Del from some Motel across town,’ Walt reeled off, as he gathered a couple of bags that Skyler had hastily packed. ‘Did you get some stuff from Jesse’s place?’

‘Had a couple of guys go over, they didn’t have any issues,’ Mike noted. ‘They are meeting us on route just in case they spot a tail.’

‘Good, good,’ Walt nodded.

‘Jesse?’ Walt prompted.

‘Yes, I’ll go and get him now,’ Walt realised but then paused. ‘Mike, we really have to be careful about the whole Jesse and Del thing ok?’

‘Careful in what sense? Because there is no way in hell that I’m going to pander to it, if that’s what you’re saying. Del would do well to not even look at the kid if I’m around,’ Mike warned.

‘Ok, that works,’ Walt offered, before heading towards the bedrooms. He stood outside Junior’s room and lightly knocked, before opening the door to see Jesse fully clothed lying on junior’s bed. ‘Jesse?’

There was a groan, and then movement as Jesse stretched and lazily maneuverer himself to get up. He grabbed his bag without word, blinking his eyes a few times before getting to his feet.

‘You ok?’ Walt checked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse said before taking what looked like a painful deep breath.

‘You sure?’ Walt offered.

‘Just sore, ribs hate me,’ Jesse returned and adjusted his clothing, so they sat right after lying down. ‘They never forgave me after Tuco, now they just despise me.’

Walt offered a frown. ‘Mike’s here, it’s time to get going.’

Jesse nodded his head and followed Walt out of the room, he glanced up to see Skyler White looking on, stood outside her own bedroom door. ‘Thanks,’ he offered.

‘Shame it was so brief, look after yourself and take care of the old man,’ Skyler gestured towards Walt. Jesse simply smirked when Walt called her out on the comment but nodded his head in reply.

Jesse saw the look Mike offered him and knew he owed him an apology for running off like he did before, but didn’t sense that now was the best time so he just busied himself by helping Mr White carry the bags to the car. In silence they all got in, and without looking back Mike simply drove them away, and Jesse just hoped Mr White had had enough time to say his goodbyes to Skyler, not knowing if anyone knew how long they might be gone for.

‘What’s the plan?’ Jesse finally spoke up once they were clear of Mr White’s neighbourhood and driving into downtown.

‘Currently I have three cars on the move including this one, we’re all heading to pre-determined co-ordinates to rendezvous,’ Mike offered.

‘Three?’ Jesse checked.

‘One with us in, one with Del Burley in and another with a bag of your clothes from your house, we’re taking necessary precautions in case there’s a watch on your house,’ Mike informed him. ‘I’ve been told there was no obvious signs that your house had been touched, or that it was being watched, but we’re not entirely sure how good these guys are.’

‘They took out Gus, that’s all we need to know,’ Jesse remarked.

‘They did, yes,’ Mike agreed. ‘Hence the precautions.’

‘Where does that leave you now, and the business?’ Jesse questioned.

‘It’s done, it’s over, everything has been destroyed or redeployed into legit business practices. The restaurants have been handed over to a trusted party who will be announced as the new owner in a few weeks, the new party plans to disband the brand in light of the expected press once the DEA connect the dots, then will relaunch in a matter of weeks under a new brand,’ Mike stated.

‘I trust Gus had this all planned out, in the event of an early demise,’ Walt now spoke up.

‘That he did,’ Mike agreed. ‘He never wanted the true nature of Los Pollos to ever fail due to his other business dealings, those restaurants meant a lot to him.’

‘Was there any warning?’ Jesse asked.

‘Nothing that we know off, although we are hearing noises that Del Burley was in contact with Declan himself prior to things going down, so I would imagine this might not be such a surprise to him,’ Mike stated.

‘He sounded genuinely scared for his safety,’ Jesse agreed.

‘His right-hand man, the one now in charge, Franko, he got the communication from Declan to say both Del Burley and Jesse were next,’ Walt explained. ‘That’s why I called you.’

‘Oh, I get that part. I’m just trying to work out why Declan went for Gus first, and why he’s gunning for Del and Jesse, now, why not just go for Franko?’ Mike asked. ‘Something doesn’t quite add up to me.’

‘I thought that was fairly obvious,’ Walt offered with surprise. ‘Del has the financial clout to step into Gus’s shoes, take over the business and Jesse has been paraded as a cook who can produce the quality blue sky, and has links to Heisenberg,’ Walt explained. ‘If I felt my business was threatened, even after taking out the kingpin, I would have made the same decision to go after the two likely successors, leave nothing to chance.’

Mike glanced at Walter and shook his head. ‘That’s the difference between us, you have that way of thinking that others do not possess.’

‘What? Surely you both worked that one out? It’s obvious,’ Walt defended.

‘I thought I was being targeted because I was in Mexico with Gus, when those murders happened,’ Jesse admitted.

‘If that was the reason, why isn’t Mike being targeted? He was there too, and was known to be Gus’s security,’ Walt countered. ‘No, seriously, you really should have worked it out.’

‘Did that thing you saw say that they wanted me dead? Or just wanted me, wanted me, like as a cook or something?’ Jesse then ventured.

Walt checked the phone the images were downloaded to and frowned. ‘Just says Target 2 for you, Jesse, Del is Target 1.’

‘So, no mention of dying or death specifically?’ Jesse checked. ‘Just I’m the second target after Del, that could mean anything, they might need a cook and a financier.’

‘The kid may be right,’ Mike agreed. ‘But doesn’t change the fact that Declan and his gang are not going to get their targets, either way.’

‘On that we agree,’ Walt nodded his head, and settled into his seat as Mike entered the highway leaving ABQ for an unknown destination.


	4. The new normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse, Del and Walter must work on finding a way to make things easier until the threat is gone, leading to a series of needed conversations to try and make things easier for the duration, but is all what it seems?

There was nothing but New Mexico landscape for miles around, as two cars waited off a beaten track. The occupants of the cars sat in various locations in and around the two cars, as they kept scanning the horizon.

‘Any ideas?’ Walt asked Mike, who was keeping an eye on his phone.

‘We will give them another twenty minutes,’ Mike relayed. ‘We will need to start moving before it gets too dark,’ he offered. ‘Where’s Jesse?’

‘Needed to relieve himself,’ Walt answered and now both men were looking at Del Burley who in turn was looking in the direction of where Jesse had gone by a small outcrop of rocks.

‘Do you think the two of us can handle Del Burley? My two men should head off back to town,’ Mike motioned.

‘He seems to be behaving, hasn’t really said much since he arrived,’ Walt observed.

Mike gestured to one of his men. ‘Damo, you and Kurt should go, see if you can find Ash on your way back,’ Mike ordered, and the two men moved towards the second car. In that moment Mike’s phone buzzed and he answered it quickly. ‘Ash, talk to me.’

‘We were being tailed, so we’ve gone ahead about twenty minutes from your location, the bag is in room 542, the key has been left under the third vending machine in the back foyer, sending co-ordinates now,’ Ashley stressed. ‘We lost them before reaching the hotel complex, but as we were leaving, we saw them checking the front parking lot, but I don’t think they saw us. I can definitely confirm that they were not following us when we went to the room or when we hid the key.’

‘Ok I’ll send Damo to retrieve the bags, and we will get out of here. Seems it’s becoming too hot to stick around,’ Mike confirmed and finished the call and started moving. ‘Change of plans, guys,’ Mike spoke towards Damo and focused on them, as Walt glanced around to see Jesse had returned to his spot learning on the other end of the car. 

It wasn’t until Walt couldn’t see Del that he realised Del had now moved around the cars and was sat on the ground in front of Jesse, talking to him whilst smoking. Walt moved to where they were, and Jesse seemed to instantly be aware of Walt as he approached.

‘So come on Jesse, which one of these old men is Heisenberg, it is one of them, right?’ Del asked in a friendly manner.

Jesse looked unsure, as he glanced at Walt, who stepped forward. ‘My name is Heisenberg,’ Walt introduced.

‘Funny, could have sworn I overheard Mike call you Walter,’ Del returned, showing little surprise.

‘We all have our dark side that we keep under wraps, right?’ Walt offered menacingly.

Del just looked away with a sly smile, before returning to face Jesse and Walt. ‘So, what’s going on, when do we get moving?’

‘Mike is just sorting out a few things, we will be moving shortly,’ Walt replied.

‘Problem?’ Del asked.

‘Just with the third car from Jesse’s house, they were tailed,’ Walt offered.

‘From my house?’ Jesse checked.

‘Mike’s arranging another way to pick up your stuff, but it might take a while. Hopefully you don’t mind roughing it for a bit, Jesse,’ Walt warned.

‘I’ll be fine,’ Jesse dismissed any concern. ‘I have cash if the stuff can’t reach us.’

‘Jesse, who was the guy?’ Del asked.

‘The guy?’ Jesse asked confused.

‘The guy, guy, the one old Mike was protecting you from when he put you in a safe house? I thought you said it wasn’t Heisenberg, and obviously it can’t be Mike protecting you from himself,’ Del smiled, it felt like he was enjoying himself as he grinned in anticipation for the answer.

Jesse figured they were going to be sharing the same space for an indefinite amount of time, he didn’t fancy having to watch his every word or action, he glanced at Mr White who just with a tired expression seemed to agree. ‘It wasn’t Heisenberg, the thing I have is with Mr White,’ Jesse admitted. ‘Mike was protecting me from Mr White,’ he clarified. ‘But it’s all cool now, that’s old news,’ he added.

‘Mr White, who’s he, then? Oh, wait, wasn’t he your old chemistry teacher?’ Del asked suddenly looking very confused.

‘Hi,’ Walt waved, enjoying the confusion on Del’s face.

‘Seriously? You and him?’ Del questioned.

‘Don’t, just don’t do this, ok?’ Jesse pushed himself from leaning on the car and wished he had a pack of cigarettes to hand, he absently patted his pockets just in case before Del got his attention, offering him a stick. Jesse hesitated but took one, and accepted the light from Del, and savoured his first smoke in days.

‘Is that wise, Jesse, given your lung issue?’ Walt questioned.

‘Jesus, It’s just one cigarette,’ Jesse complained, and then coughed a couple times as if to prove Walt’s concern.

‘Is he always like that?’ Del asked with a smirk.

‘Yeah, the dick is always right, you’ll get use to it,’ Jesse simply said and turned away from both of them to enjoy his smoke.

‘So, you two are a thing, what’s the landscape here?’ Del asked.

‘The landscape here,’ Walt said with precision, an edge to his voice. ‘Is that the two of you are on a most wanted list, and we need to lay low for a couple of weeks or more. This is not a road trip or holiday, spring break or anything else of that nature. This is very serious situation that involves taking great risk to ensure nothing bad happens to either of you.’

‘So, what you’re really telling me is that I need to stay focused, no distractions, we stare intently at each other until the heat dies down, oh and keep your hands off my boyfriend sort a thing?’ Del asked with a grin, and Jesse couldn’t hide the smirk on his face having thought Mr White had laid it on a bit strong.

‘Ok ladies, calm down,’ Mike spoke up as he approached. ‘We have an eight hour drive ahead of us, in my car, and I don’t want you all bitching at each other the entire way, ok?’

‘Yes, dad,’ Del quipped and Jesse just shook his head.

‘You call me that again, sonny, and I promise you I will ensure you learn a lesson you will never forget - do I make myself clear? I am really just waiting for any excuse when it comes to you, first warning, so don’t push me,’ Mike growled and the grin quickly left Del’s face, as he backed away.

‘OK can we cool it down, yo?’ Jesse intercepted. ‘Look, Mike’s right, we won’t last five minutes if we keep playing these stupid games, and for the absolute record whilst I have your attention I want it known that no one has a claim on me right now, ok? And no, that’s not setting a challenge, just, let’s just get through this without getting killed,’ Jesse simply said and moved to the car to get into the back seat.

‘You heard him, Walt, you go in the back with Jesse, Del up front with me,’ Mike decided, and it was clear it was not open for debate.

* * *

Jesse heard the hum of the engine as he slowly came to, feeling rested and surprisingly comfortable with the small motions of the moving car. He realised he was lying against Mr White, who had a protective arm around him and it felt nice, as he relished the calm he felt.

It felt like they had been travelling for a while, Mr White himself was also sleeping Jesse realised. He focused on hearing a content man evenly breathing for a moment. Daring to open his eyes, Jesse saw that Mike was driving. He really hoped that he had stopped for some breaks but knowing Mike he probably had not. Then he focused on Del in the passenger seat, his head leaning against the door, clearly sleeping as well.

Jesse sat up a little, careful not to disturb Mr White and rubbed his eyes. ‘Hey Mike, are you ok?’

‘Hey kid, you were out pretty quick,’ Mike returned.

‘Think that was the best sleep I’ve had for a while,’ Jesse admitted. ‘Do you want me to take a shift driving?’

‘You know kid, that would be great,’ Mike stated to Jesse’s surprise. ‘There’s services a couple miles away, we can pull in there and switch round, ok?’

‘Sure,’ Jesse agreed.

‘The sat nav has our destination plugged in, so you just need to follow that,’ Mike advised, and Jesse realised how tired Mike looked. It must have been hard to keep driving with all three occupants out for the count.

The services soon came up and parking in a remote corner, Jesse got out and switched places with Mike. ‘I trust you’re ok with Del remaining in the passenger seat, he seems in a deep enough sleep not to cause too many problems,’ Mike remarked as they passed each other.

‘Look, he is able to control himself. He’s not going to just randomly jump me first chance he gets, he has some class I think,’ Jesse mentioned to ease Mike’s concerns.

‘Just keep your wits about you, I will fall asleep fairly quickly I know it, I’m beat, kid, so just get us to the destination in one piece,’ Mike ordered.

‘Jesus, quit panicking I’m not a fucking nympho,’ Jesse complained.

‘It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s your choice of strange bedfellows of late,’ Mike tiredly grinned, leaving Jesse to roll his eyes, unable to argue.

A few moments later Jesse had the car moving again and as he pulled back onto the highway, he saw Mike was true to his word, poor guy must have been running on empty. The stop hadn’t stirred either Del or Mr White, Jesse noticed, so he focused on the sat nav and continued to drive.

* * *

The change in speed as the car turned off of the highway onto more local roads seemed to stir Del Burley awake, and Jesse was immediately aware of it as he glanced in the mirror to see both Mike and Mr White were still fast asleep. He wasn’t particularly worried, it wasn’t like he was really scared of Del, it was just sometimes he could be unpredictable. Jesse knew he could remain focused on the sat nav and the driving but still he couldn’t shake that unknown quantity to Del, who always seemed to be a few steps ahead and that’s what Jesse had to be cautious of.

‘Hey, when did you learn to drive?’ Del smirked as he woke up.

Jesse just rolled his eyes. ‘You best hope I did, or you’re in trouble here otherwise.’

‘Let me guess, your first proper car was a beat-up red Chevrolet, a Monte Carlo,’ Del guessed then looked at the surprise on Jesse’s face.

‘How’d you know that?’ Jesse asked.

‘I helped your aunt secure it, a parting gift if you like,’ Del revealed.

‘Man, I always wondered how she managed to get it,’ Jesse remembered. ‘And she always had some spare cash for parts as well, did you know that too?’

‘Uh huh,’ Del smiled knowingly towards Jesse, his expression showing how warm and friendly he could be when it came to Jesse.

‘Thanks,’ Jesse simply said. ‘Seriously, that car was the bomb, and it was so much fun fixing it up. It really helped me adjust you know, after what happened and leaving home, then when Ginny got ill, it was a good distraction,’ Jesse seemed distant, reliving some of his fondest memories for a moment.

‘Why the hell do you now drive a Tercel?’ Del had to ask, having spotted it on Jesse’s drive when he was watching his house a few days before.

‘After losing the Monte Carlo I didn’t much care what I drove anymore,’ Jesse shrugged. ‘It serves me well enough.’

‘It looks like it runs on fumes,’ Del remarked.

‘I’ll fix it up one day, will be as good as new when I do,’ Jesse stated.

‘There is zero point doing that, just get a decent set of wheels, Jesse. Hey, when things go back to normal you can have the pick of something from my garage,’ Del said dismissively then saw Jesse was still in his thoughts. ‘So, what happened to the Monte Carlo?’

‘Got shot up, then impounded and likely crushed, never really bothered to check, didn’t really want to see it looking worse than how it looked when I got it,’ Jesse said with obvious sadness.

‘Wow, you weren’t inside it were you, when it got shot up, I mean?’ Del checked.

‘No, but I saw it happen, was too scared at the time to really take in what was going on but it was a really bad time, I lost a lot of my stuff around the same time so couldn’t really sit around and cry about it,’ Jesse sniffed. ‘It hurts more now, just because it was the last thing my aunt gave me, my mom I guess, even if it was via you. I still remember her face when she gave me the keys,’ Jesse half smiled.

Del reached over and put a comforting hand on Jesse’s thigh and after an initial moment of uncertainty Jesse relaxed, knowing it was just in reaction to the car story.

‘Maybe we should find an old car to do up whilst we’re in this purgatory, who knows how long it’ll be before we can return to normality,’ Del pondered. ‘I’ve never got my hands dirty with cars, you could teach me.’

‘Maybe,’ Jesse said with little commitment as he turned onto another road, following the instructions the sat nav was occasionally offering.

Del looked at Jesse and frowned. ‘Look, I’m sorry about the drug thing the other night, truly, I heard you needed medical attention after you left?’

‘It affected my lungs, but it’s better now,’ Jesse offered. ‘My entire body is in need of some downtime, probably to do with the many things that have hit me lately.’

‘I am sorry, for everything, my entire conduct recently has sucked. It’s just, well, it’s not exactly your fault I feel how I feel, and you shouldn’t have had to suffer because of it,’ Del reasoned.

‘Whatever,’ Jesse sighed.

‘What do you mean, whatever?’ Del asked.

‘I just mean whatever, it’s in the past I just don’t want to have to dwell on shit like that, it’s bad enough I have a head full of stuff I barely understand, I don’t want to have to carry your guilt along with it,’ Jesse explained.

Del just looked at Jesse for a moment, clearly taking in what he just said, before he frowned and looked at the darkened road ahead, the only light coming from the car headlamps. ‘How much farther is it?’ Del asked.

‘Looks like another hour, pretty much this road for most of the way now,’ Jesse checked.

‘Pull over, let me drive the last bit, you look tired,’ Del suggested, and Jesse looked unsure. ‘Come on, we’re in this together, I want to pull my weight.’

Jesse took a deep breath and pulled the car over to the side of the road it was true he realised, he was starting to feel tired and had the first signs of a headache forming. He saw Del jump out immediately but took his time checking everything was as it should be before he finally got out. The minute he did he felt hands around him and he was being pushed forwards into the foliage at the side of the road. Before Jesse realised what was happening, he felt Del’s lips on his own, as he explored his mouth. Jesse took a moment to take it all in before he finally pushed Del away.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ Jesse hissed, backing away. ‘The others might already be awake, man.’

‘We’re two men, relieving ourselves at the side of the road, come on, live a little,’ Del smirked as he stepped away and he indeed started to relieve himself, leaving Jesse a little dumbstruck as he glanced back at the car. It was still stationary, and the two old guys were sound asleep in the back.

‘You’re just looking for trouble, you’re going to get me into trouble, yo,’ Jesse returned in a loud whisper.

‘Hey, you’re the one who said he was unattached so what harm is there?’ Del protested. ‘Besides, it’s fun isn’t it?’ Del grinned as he finished off and tidied himself away, he saw Jesse looking concerned. ‘Look I get it, those old guys don’t like me, hate what I did to you when you were younger, and I know you’re conflicted,’ Del lifted Jesse’s chin. ‘I probably didn’t do myself any favours with the drug thing, I know that, bad move on my part it was a mistake.’

‘Just stop,’ Jesse brushed Del’s hand away and took a couple of steps back. ‘Stop getting into my head, ok? Take this seriously, yo, don’t turn this into anything other than the fact we need to lay low for a few weeks, it’s going to be difficult enough as it is.’

‘You really care what those two thinks, don’t you?’ Del gestured to the sleeping figures in the car.

‘You should too,’ Jesse remarked.

‘I only care about you, Jesse,’ Del stated.

Jesse rolled his eyes and looked upwards with a deep breath, when he looked back at Del the man was holding out a lit cigarette for him, which Jesse took without comment. They both walked back towards the car, and just savoured their smokes for a moment in silence.

They heard a car door open and Walter White got out to stretch, he glanced at both Jesse then Del, seeing them both smoking.

‘Just taking a little break,’ Jesse offered before he asked.

‘We’re not that far now, are we?’ Mr White questioned.

‘Just over an hour more to go,’ Jesse replied. ‘We’ve made good time.’

‘You know Mike won’t be pleased we’ve stopped, what if we were being followed? Anything could have happened, we’re sitting ducks out here,’ Walt warned.

‘Since we left the highway there’s been like zero cars, Mr White,’ Jesse protested. 

‘What’s with the Mr White thing, he still teaching you chemistry or some shit, Jesse?’ Del spoke up.

‘I guess in some ways, yeah,’ Jesse grinned but didn’t elaborate. ‘I’m never going to call him anything else so just don’t bother ok, he’s Mr White, yo,’ Jesse proclaimed with a wild gesture, as he took another drag on the cigarette.

Walt found a smile at that declaration, but he eyed Del with nothing but contempt. ‘We should move out, just in case, we don’t want to be seen.’

‘Del’s driving the last bit,’ Jesse announced.

‘Del?’ Walt checked.

‘That’s ok, right? I want to pull my weight,’ Del stated as he moved swiftly to the driver’s side. ‘Jesse, go shotgun.’

‘Maybe I should sit up front?’ Walt hissed to Jesse, as Del got into the car.

‘It’s cool, Mr White, trust me he’ll be easier to manage if play along sometimes, not every time, but some,’ Jesse advised and it gave Walt enough confidence to return to the back seat, prepared to keep an eye on things as much as possible.

* * *

Mike had checked every room and the immediate area outside the cabin before he returned to find the others exploring the kitchen, a small box of supplies had been left for them on arrival that both Jesse and Del were now going through.

‘OK, this is going to be your home for the immediate future,’ Mike stated.

‘Hang on, you’re not staying?’ Walt checked.

‘For tonight only, then I’ll take the car and head back to see if we can’t fix the issue we currently have,’ Mike informed them.

‘Why is he staying?’ Del then spoke up, looking at Walt.

‘What?’ Walt questioned angrily.

‘They are after Jesse and me, not you,’ Del shrugged. ‘Just wondering why you’re sticking around.’

‘Mr White is here because I want him here,’ Jesse spoke up before Walt could answer.

‘Ok, good to know,’ Del accepted, and Walt and Jesse exchanged glances, Walt appreciating Jesse’s contribution.

‘Jesse, can you give me five minutes,’ Mike requested, and with only a quick nod of his head Jesse left the kitchen area and found one of the bedrooms to wait in. ‘Ok, we need to have a chat and get rid of the elephant in the room,’ Mike started. ‘Jesse is still not one hundred percent and he still needs time to process and recover from recent events so I would really appreciate it if the two of you could just for a short time, stop swinging your dicks around, and actually help the kid out by being adults around him.’

‘You have nothing to worry about from me,’ Walt confirmed.

‘Me either, but I feel the need to just defend myself a little here, because I’ve caught the looks and the constant stares you two keep throwing my way,’ Del stated. ‘When I was in my mid-twenties I was an arrogant bastard who used my money to get what I want. Yes, part of that time period I was completely messed up, I had addiction issues, and I was attracted to young men, ok? I’m not denying that was a thing,’ Del stated firmly. ‘But I got clean, I worked on improving my habits, focused more on work and then Jesse was offered to me, and it was exactly like that, he was offered,’ Del stressed. ‘This angry kid who was totally neglected of love, struggling at school, bastard teachers failing him and not giving him a chance to grow,’ Del directed at Walt, who remained tight lipped. ‘His dad hated him, clearly beat him and no one was stopping for just five seconds to question what was going on with this boy. They just kept punishing him, failing him and then his dad was pimping him,’ Del took a deep breath. ‘Of course, at that time I was very interested, and his dad knew I would be, but it became more than that over time,’ Del looked at the two older men staring back at him. ‘I’m not going to insult either of you and try to claim that what I did was in anyway right, it wasn’t, I know that. In that short time I knew Jesse, that time we spent together, which wasn’t always in bed, I really did fall in love with him, ok? It killed a part of me to leave him behind, and what happened to him was unacceptable but I wasn’t mature enough to take responsibility and when I was told to run, to forget, to save my own skin and move on or risk everything I was working so hard to achieve, I did as I was advised, ok?’ Del stressed. ‘I never planned to return to his life, and I managed to put him in a little box stored somewhere in the back of my mind. I got on with what I was told was a normal life, got myself a wife, even had a son but well, you know what happened next.’

Mike slowly stepped closer to Del, his face remained stoic. ‘You’ll have to just accept that when I look at you, I only see a man who saw nothing wrong with taking a troubled kid and abusing him,’ Mike began. ‘You make me sick to the stomach, I met many others like you in my years as a cop, and I will never try to understand where you get your kicks but understand this one thing. If I hear just one thing, one thing from Jesse that you are bothering him, or even looking at him funny I will deal with it,’ Mike stated strongly.

Del held Mike’s stare for a moment before looking away. ‘I don’t want to hurt Jesse, or force him to do anything. You have my word on that.’

‘Your word means nothing to me,’ Mike simply responded. ‘And I don’t believe it for a second.’

‘Don’t you prefer to drug Jesse, so he has no choice?’ Walt spoke up.

‘That was a misjudgement,’ Del answered quickly with anger. ‘I was desperate, I wasn’t sure Jesse would give me the time to talk to him, to explain.’

‘To worm your way back into his thinking,’ Walt commented. ‘To reignite the grooming from all those year’s back.’

‘You think so little of Jesse that you think he can be so easily manipulated?’ Del questioned.

‘Walter, let’s not get into a discussion about manipulating Jesse,’ Mike now spoke up and Del glanced at Mike, then back to Walt with surprise.

‘Oh really?’ Del was interested. ‘Is that your thing, you manipulated Jesse?’

‘I didn’t manipulate him,’ Walt disagreed strongly.

‘I think you did, Walter, we both know it, especially that one time because you told him to, am I wrong?’ Mike questioned.

Del looked confused as both Walter and Mike stared at each other. ‘Did what thing?’

‘The point I’m making is that you both have manipulated Jesse in recent times, and I don’t care how you dress it up, that is how I see it and you both have interests in Jesse that might not be in his best interests right now. So, I need to be confident that if I leave the three of you in this cabin for any length of time you will be able to survive without killing one another, or Jesse,’ Mike stated.

‘Look, bottom line all three of us want what’s best for Jesse, right?’ Del offered and saw Walt reluctantly agree with him, before Mike nodded his head. ‘I just want the Declan thing sorted out, I give you my word that I have no wants beyond that at the moment. I do have to say that I want to stop seeing the fucking panic I’ve already seen from you both whenever I get within a metre of Jesse, ok? We’re all adults, Jesse is a smart guy, give him some credit.’

‘Walt?’ Mike prompted.

‘Make things safe for Jesse again in ABQ, and I’ll make sure things go smoothly here,’ Walt offered.

‘Good, well you two should unpack those things and set up the kitchen, then I suggest we all get some sleep,’ Mike gestured. ‘We each have a room, no need for sharing. I’m now going to talk to Jesse, so we are all on the same page.’

Walt and Del silently agreed to Mike’s plan, and both looked at each other as Mike left them to it. Del finally stepped forward towards Walt. ‘Sorry if I was being an arsehole, I think I just feel a little put out by the fact Jesse is close to someone other than me, taking some getting used to.’

‘And someone like me?’ Walt checked.

‘Old, male,’ Del offered. ‘Yes, that too.’

Walt smirked. ‘Let’s not be those people, Mike is right, this will be a lot easier if we just don’t let things get silly, Jesse doesn’t need us acting like fighting cocks over him.’

‘I don’t know, I think he’d probably enjoy that, he’s a sly one,’ Del remarked and then smirked, and Walt had to smile as well. ‘Let’s shake on being good people and making sure Jesse doesn’t end up hating the both of us.’

Walt shook Del’s hand, although not entirely convinced he was willing to at least give him a chance considering they’d be living in each other pockets for the next few weeks or so.

* * *

Mike had lightly tapped on the door and let himself in to find Jesse just sat on the edge of the bed, wringing his hands as he waited.

‘So, I’ve just tried to get those two to play nicely,’ Mike began.

‘How’d that go?’ Jesse asked.

‘Well, we will see won’t we,’ Mike stated as he sat down in a chair. ‘How are you holding up?’

Jesse shrugged. ‘Just another day, really.’

‘I heard you ended up with Del after running from the safe house,’ Mike then mentioned. Jesse offered only a disinterested glance at Mike before returning to focusing on his hands. ‘What is going on in that head of yours kid? Talk to me.’

Jesse put his head in his heads and rubbed his face, his elbows resting on his knees. ‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ Jesse finally said as he sat back up. 

‘Ok, you look tired, you should get some sleep,’ Mike got to his feet.

‘How many rooms does this cabin have?’ Jesse idly asked.

‘Three, so more than enough room for the three of you,’ Mike answered.

‘What about tonight? Where are you going to sleep?’ Jesse asked.

‘There’s a perfectly good couch,’ Mike replied.

‘No, I’ll take the couch, you take the bed, Mike,’ Jesse decided.

‘I don’t want to sound too obvious, but I would prefer you have a room, with a door and a lock with those two around,’ Mike objected.

‘Ok, I’ll sleep on this floor, it’s just for one night,’ Jesse gestured.

‘It’s a double bed kid, I know I can control myself around you so if you want a decent nights sleep the right side is free, but totally up to you,’ Mike offered.

‘You’re just offering that to wind up the two love-sick guys out there, right?’ Jesse smirked.

‘It’ll give them something to bond over, to talk about,’ Mike smiled.

‘I’m cool with that if you are, and I promise I won’t cuddle,’ Jesse teased, and Mike just shook his head at that. ‘Any news on my stuff?’

‘Won’t be here till tomorrow, will likely have to drive out first thing and bring it back from a pick-up spot,’ Mike responded.

‘No worries,’ Jesse grabbed the one bag he did have and took out his medicines. ‘Just going to grab some water for these,’ he stated and left the room. He glanced at both Del and Walt sitting silently across from each other on the living room chairs. It was obvious in their manner that he had been the topic of any conversation they were having before he appeared, but he didn’t care as he entered the kitchen area and found a glass.

‘Everything ok, Jesse?’ Walt finally asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse answered. ‘How’s things out here? I heard you got a Mike lecture,’ Jesse added.

‘Did you get one too?’ Del spoke up.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse answered as he filled a glass up with water. ‘He’s calling it a night,’ Jesse explained as he took a sip of the water.

‘Where’s he sleeping?’ Walt questioned.

‘I said he could take my bed,’ Jesse answered calmly.

‘So where are you sleeping?’ Walt genuinely asked.

‘You old sly dog, getting in quick,’ Del teased towards Walt.

‘I think I can trust Mike not to jump me in the night,’ Jesse hinted.

‘Oh, hello, speaking of sly dogs, what? Are you going for the three-pointer here?’ Del smirked with amusement.

‘It’s not like that,’ Jesse said tiredly.

‘He really takes keeping an eye on you seriously,’ Walt frowned, then smiled.

Jesse moved into the room and took the third seat, putting his glass down on the table. There was an awkward silence between them for a moment. ‘Look, are the three of us cool here or are Mike’s concerns real?’ Jesse finally asked, he just wanted to gauge where they were at.

‘We’ve just been getting to know each other,’ Del gestured to Walt. ‘I think we can make this work without freaking you out,’ Del assured him.

‘I just don’t want any tensions or battles, mind games whatever,’ Jesse admitted tiredly. ‘We’re going to be in close quarters here which is bad enough, I don’t need to add to my paranoia.’

‘Why don’t we just lay it all out here?’ Del suggested. ‘Let’s all talk like grown men, like adults, get it out there now so no secrets.’

‘What do you mean?’ Jesse asked unsure.

‘We all just say what we’re thinking,’ Del stated.

‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea,’ Walt remarked, glancing at Jesse and seeing he looked equally concerned.

‘Look, I’ll start,’ Del said and turned to Jesse. ‘Jesse, I like you ok? I think it’s love but I don’t want to push that onto your plate, it’s my problem not yours. I want us to be friends, I want this weirdness between us to disappear. I know I made a big mistake with that drug the other night, but it was not supposed to harm you, and only last an hour, tops. I’ve already fired the lead physician on that project for his lack of judgement,’ Del stated firmly. ‘You told me yourself the other day that you can’t seem to hate me, but I want to work on changing that to you simply don’t hate me. Your choice, your free will,’ Del explained. ‘What happened in the past, I was an idiot, I was young, thought I could change the world, your world, Jesse, and I can’t undo any of that, but I can now try and make things better.’ Del kept his stare on Jesse for a moment longer before turning to Walt. ‘I admit, I don’t get whatever you have with Jesse, but just help me to understand it. I see Jesse has a great respect for you, I sense you do care for Jesse so that makes us cool, we both share that instinct right? I want to learn more about what you two have got up to, especially with the blue sky operation. I guess I did feel a bit threatened by you, Walt, jealous even. I felt I needed to ‘win’ Jesse back and I still do in some ways, but I want you to know the talking we’ve done here, tonight, it’s made me realise that I have a bit to learn about the adult Jesse that maybe I didn’t appreciate before.’

Del leant back in his chair and looked at both Jesse and Walt in turn. ‘Ok, that’s me, open book, who else wants to go?’

Walt cleared his throat and took a deep breath. ‘Ok, I’m game,’ he offered in his Heisenberg growl, and glanced at Jesse who looked like he wanted the room to swallow him up, probably realising now that Walt was playing along he would probably have to say stuff too. ‘Jesse, you know after what I witnessed, when you seemed to die in my arms, everything changed. What I told you in the aftermath still stands in that I want to be a better friend, mentor, whatever to you and my instincts to protect you, make sure I’m being my best self around you has never been stronger,’ Walt stated, and Jesse noticeably seemed to respond to his words favourably before Walt turned to Del. ‘Del, it’s going to take time, I’ve known Jesse from around the age you first set your sights on him, I remember your car parked outside the school and how Jesse was in those days,’ Walt offered. ‘I will always struggle to understand your motivations at the time, how you could do what you did and feel zero remorse, because I’ve yet to hear you even accept that what you did to Jesse at that age was so utterly wrong, despicable, ok? That’s how I feel, as a father and as a teacher who worked day in day out with kids of that age. I will be watching out for Jesse the entire time we are here because it will take a lot of convincing for me to believe anything is genuine between the two of you, you wanted honesty, there it is.’

‘Ok,’ Del sat forward again, looking at Walt. ‘All I will say to that is when I first met Jesse, he was literally only five months off legal age, and I always asked, I always made sure he knew exactly what I intended to do. I would test first in case he panicked or freaked out, and I always got his consent I never made him do anything he didn’t want or ask to do,’ Del stated firmly. ‘I also want to add that it was so much more than just that, we had fun, we socialised, it was never ever just about the sex, right Jesse?’

‘Yeah, I guess,’ Jesse simply agreed with Del.

Walt looked at Jesse, unable to hide his disgust that Del once again had failed to acknowledge any wrongdoing on his part. Walt turned back to Del. ‘Jesse was vulnerable, his homelife was horrific, he was an easy target. Surely, some part of you must see that by giving that poor kid everything he could dream of, the games, the gifts, the fun, the forbidden excitement, it wasn’t about you, Del. He was lusting after the escape, someone giving him attention that no one else was, but was twisted, sick and wrong,’ Walt stressed.

‘You’re allowed your opinion,’ Del simply dismissed Walt’s words, then looked at Jesse. ‘So, let’s hear from you, Jesse.’

‘I’m not sure I want to do this,’ Jesse stated, staring intently at his glass on the table, wishing he had just gone straight back to the room and relative safety.

‘This is your chance to tell it to us straight,’ Del encouraged.

Jesse sighed and leaned back in his seat, looking up at the wooden ceiling. ‘The one thing I’ve learned about myself recently is that I’m fucked up, and I’ve been fucked up since the day my own mom decided she couldn’t handle me and fobbed me off into the worst situation possible. I had wannabe parents that decided I wasn’t worth the effort after all once they got their own kid, and when I needed them most,’ Jesse could already feel his emotions rising. ‘I’ve had people using and manipulating me all my life, and you know how that feels, to discover that about yourself? Finding out that I’m the last fucking person to know?’ Jesse paused and calmed himself down a little, determined not to let this get emotional. ‘Del, I don’t know what the fuck to make of you, ok, that’s the truth,’ Jesse stressed. ‘Up until a week ago I had no idea that you were even a thing to me, ok? So just slow the fuck down! All my life I’ve gone out of my way to protect vulnerable kids that I’ve seen around, if I could, and never understood completely why. I thought it was because I was rejected by my own parents, beaten by my dad but now I’m slowly realising it’s not just on my parents, it’s because deep down I knew I’d been abused too, by you Del, there’s no escaping what you did to me, consent or no consent,’ Jesse was shaking a little now, as the emotions tried to escape. ‘Jesus, if I saw a twenty something year old cosying up to a 15-year-old, I’d be the first to step in, to stop what I was seeing, you know?’ Jesse looked flustered as he took another moment to compose himself.

‘Jesse,’ Del began but Jesse held up his hand.

‘No, this is my time to speak,’ Jesse stressed strongly and then looked at Mr White. ‘Mr White, you were a total dick to me at school when you failed me in your class, but you also were the only teacher who seemed to even know I existed. Especially once things got tougher for me, you always seemed to make an effort to talk to me, and I never forgot that,’ Jesse admitted. ‘Then when you weirdly appeared back in my life, what? Just over a year ago, I never thought it would lead to the fucking crazy it’s led to. I never expected to experience so much in such a short space of time, and the things I did, that I experienced, that have happened to me, it’s been too much man,’ Jesse frowned, rubbing his face. ‘Right now, I feel like I’ve lost everything, anything I cared about is gone, just as I told you after Hank attacked me but somehow it’s even worse now,’ Jesse offered desperately. ‘But still, still,’ Jesse paused. ‘I’m drawn to you, Mr White, your promises of better things, your adventures, your mission whatever that is, and I do believe in you Mr White,’ Jesse admitted. ‘I’ve done terrible things for you, unforgivable things but the fact you have stopped, that this crazy is supposedly over,’ Jesse paused and took some time to consider his next words. ‘I’ve seen who you really are now, certainly in the last few days. I just feel that at a time when I have so little going for me, you are still right there, standing next to me. You’ve not deserted me or given up on me. I see you holding that one beacon of light and if I just follow it, then you will see me good,’ Jesse shrugged.

Walt couldn’t believe what Jesse had just said, it had sounded so raw yet so beautiful to him. ‘I will Jesse, I will make sure until my dying breath that you are in a good place, I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make that happen.’

‘Wow,’ Del simply remarked. ‘Well, I think we all needed that.’

‘Feels like we all know where we stand now, right?’ Jesse offered, though sounded unsure.

‘Yeah,’ Walt agreed, leaning over and gently stroking Jesse’s back to reassure him.

‘I obviously have some work to do, I realise that now,’ Del offered. ‘But I needed to hear the two of you speaking about each other, you’ve clearly formed an unbreakable bond.’

‘I need to sleep,’ Jesse then decided and got to his feet, grabbing his glass. ‘You two should continue getting to know each other, who knows what might happen,’ Jesse lazily teased as he walked back towards the bedroom.

‘In your dreams, darling,’ Del returned with a smile.

‘I better not hear any suspicious noises coming from you and Mike in the night,’ Walt then hollered.

‘Fuck off, images I really didn’t need in my already messed-up head, yo,’ Jesse hollered, before disappearing into the room.

‘He really is special, and he has no fucking idea, does he?’ Del remarked warmly towards Walt.

‘He really doesn’t,’ Walt smiled tiredly.

‘You know I lost my son recently, and I feel nothing,’ Del then remarked. ‘But I look at Jesse and feel everything.’

Walt frowned, for a moment thinking of his own son. ‘You only knew Grant for a short time, correct?’ Walt checked.

‘A couple of years, we never bonded it’s true,’ Del sighed. ‘In truth, he reminded me of myself too much, and I didn’t like what I saw.’

‘Ok, wow,’ Walt offered.

‘He was petulant, arrogant, a fucking liability with anything that moved,’ Del remembered, rubbing his face as he remembered. ‘But unlike me he seemed to lack any brains. The world is a better place without him in it.’

‘Well, I admit our introduction to him wasn’t ideal,’ Walt remembered. ‘I only met him for a short while and he was, I don’t know, completely oblivious to the world around him. Focused only on himself and what he wanted.’

Del laughed. ‘Yeah, like father like son some might say,’ he sighed. ‘When I first learned it had been Jesse he attacked, I didn’t really feel anything, honestly, nothing, which is surprising, right?’ Del checked and saw Walt agreeing. ‘I should have been angry, I should have been outraged that my boy had attacked the only person I really ever truly loved but it was like a denial,’ Del explained. ‘I focused so much on physically forgetting Jesse to cope that I made myself numb I suppose. Those first few months after leaving Albuquerque the first time was parallel to how I suffered in withdrawal the first time, it was horrible with the added guilt of what happened to him because of me.’

‘Was what happened to Jesse in his home, when he was shot a few weeks back, planned? It was always suggested it was an accident, but now I think about it more, was it really?’ Walt asked.

‘It wasn’t an accident you are right,’ Del conceded. ‘My right-hand man, Franko, he put Grant onto Jesse but without my knowledge,’ Del admitted. ‘Grant was supposed to make it look like an accident, and Jesse was not supposed to survive,’ Del took a deep breath. ‘Grant had been getting more out of control, Franko had discovered he was taking meth, not your blue version just the basic, and he witnessed how it affected Grant in the same way it affected me,’ Del offered. ‘Meth messes with my head, I get violent, out of control, I can hurt people and simply not register it. I guess Franko learned about Jesse’s open house meth parties and thought sticking Grant in that mix, having plied him with enough information to make Jesse enticing to him, following the like father like son vibe and bingo, he could create the perfect storm that could eliminate a loose end Franko never quite tidied up himself.’

Walt frowned at the admission to what had led to the start of all this. ‘I should have been keeping a closer eye on Jesse at that time, I was so consumed with other things and just didn’t register that Jesse was going completely off the rails, I was barely noticing,’ Walt admitted. ‘Thankfully Mike and Gus were more up to speed, and they were there to help Jesse when he needed it and thank god Mike was right there when Grant shot him.’

‘It was the whole private army thing that eventually triggered my attention, learning that just started to wake me up to the fact that this was Jesse Pinkman, with his private army, what the hell?’ Del shrugged with a smile. ‘I guess in my mind’s eye I figured Jesse would just get by in life, that’s what I was expecting to find if I ever felt compelled to check,’ Del sighed. ‘I think I was vaguely aware that he was involved in the drugs world, low level stuff at that point so figured, not my problem. I knew he was drawn to those things but then to learn it was Jesse that Grant had attacked, then evidence of a private army, unknown forces wanting his safe return, it just got my attention,’ Del offered. ‘That and then seeing poor Grant falling under the same Jesse spell, just like I had years ago.’

Walt sat forward, clearly troubled. ‘Grant, forgive me for saying, was nothing but a monster and there’s no poor Grant about it at all,’ Walt simply said. ‘There was something very wrong with how he tried to possess Jesse, it was awful to witness and I’d go as far as to say he mentally broke Jesse, and that’s what triggered all of the other memories to escape.’

‘I know, as I said, I feel nothing for my son, and the world is a better place without that piece of shit,’ Del frowned. ‘I know what I did was wrong, but how Grant went about claiming Jesse, forcing it, then tried to convince me it was because he cared,’ Del shook his head. ‘What he did to Jesse, it certainly was what started all this, and I will never forgive him for hurting him, and I barely forgive Franko for being the mastermind behind it.’

‘So much so you gave him a billion-dollar company?’ Walt stated.

‘He might be having fun now, but trust me, he’s no me, and that company will fail within five years without me, maybe a lot sooner,’ Del declared. ‘And yes, I’m that arrogant to say that, but I know Franko, there’s a reason he was my right-hand man and not my boss,’ Del grinned.

‘An interesting punishment but I think I like it,’ Walt admitted.

‘It’s nice to have your approval,’ Del remarked with a warm smile.

The two men then got to their feet, an unspoken signal that it was time to sleep and they both made their way to their rooms, the time for talking had passed.


	5. Getting on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the late night chat, Jesse considers some things with Mike before the reality of his new living situation starts to become more real, can Jesse cope?

Mike hated getting old, and wasn’t surprised that he awoke in the middle of the night needing to relieve himself. He got to his feet and saw Jesse sat in the chair, wide awake.

‘Hey,’ Jesse simply said.

‘Give me a minute,’ Mike requested as he left the room and tended to his needs. On his return, Jesse had barely moved as Mike returned to the bed, sitting up and looking at the kid. ‘Can’t sleep?’

‘Not tired,’ Jesse sighed.

‘You look tired,’ Mike offered. ‘So, what’s up?’

‘Just thinking,’ Jesse frowned. ‘When I went out to the kitchen to get some water, they were both out there talking. Somehow Del, Mr White and myself got into a bit of a frank discussion before I came back in here, we told each other what we thought and stuff,’ Jesse shrugged but Mike guessed there was more to it.

‘Did it help?’ Mike asked, when Jesse didn’t say anything further.

‘A little,’ Jesse admitted but seemed more troubled. ‘It’s all a little overwhelming, hearing what people are actually thinking, what they think of you. Just feel like I have so much to process and maybe this is the first time I’ve attempted to do that, and I don’t think I’m ready.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Mike offered.

‘You should sleep, you have a lot of driving to do tomorrow,’ Jesse got to his feet. ‘I might go and see if Mr White is awake.’

‘Jesse, do you think that’s a good idea?’ Mike asked.

‘He’s a good listener, always helps get my head back straight,’ Jesse responded. ‘I can’t just ignore him, or act like neither of those two are here, Mike.’

‘I’m thinking more of you, Jesse, going to his room alone at this hour,’ Mike corrected. ‘He might get ideas and if Burley finds out, who knows what might start happening.’

Jesse stared at Mike for a moment. ‘I wasn’t even thinking about that, shit, you’re right. This is why I keep fucking up,’ Jesse sat back down putting his head into his hands.

‘I hate to say it kid, but you have to start to help yourself here,’ Mike offered. ‘I’m not trying to tell you who you can or can’t see, but you seem to be on some weird heat right now with those two, I see it in their eyes, and it’s not good.’

‘It’s not as bad as that,’ Jesse dismissed, sitting up again. ‘I just had a perfectly normal conversation with them and not one of them jumped me.’

‘The normal conversation that led to you sitting up for most of the night because of what they told you about how they feel about you?’ Mike questioned with a small smile.

‘It’s weird, isn’t it?’ Jesse then offered.

‘What is?’ Mike asked.

‘This, two grown ass men, way older than me just, you know,’ Jesse tried to explain. ‘Acting like fucking teenagers around me.’

‘It depends on how you define weird,’ Mike frowned, knowing he had to tread carefully. ‘You see from where I’m sitting and if I’m being completely honest, I have to say what has surprised me most is you, kid,’ Mike looked at Jesse with care. ‘I saw the raw pain you were feeling about that girl, Jane, on that day we first met. I saw how badly shook up, how badly you were hurting after Grant attacked you,’ Mike looked away from Jesse. ‘I never want to see you like you did on either occasion ever again in my lifetime, Jesse. I guess that’s why I feel the way I do when I now see you with your childhood abuser, and again how I felt when I found out about you and Walter,’ Mike looked back at Jesse. ‘You do know it doesn’t have to be like this, there are a great many great people out there, of both sexes who I believe could treat you far better than your current options, but that’s just my opinion.’

‘No,’ Jesse replied bluntly, and for the first time during the conversation he looked assured of himself.

‘No?’ Mike questioned confused.

‘I don’t disagree with your sentiment, Mike, it’s cute, but I can’t,’ Jesse was shaking his head, with a weird half grin forming on his face as he continued. ‘I’m bad news, I’m the bad guy, and I find myself with anyone like you just explained then guaranteed their world will turn to shit, and I can’t do that to good honest people, not again.’

‘So, you are thinking you only deserve the level of a Del Burley or Walter White, that’s the only way it can be that Jesse Pinkman can find happiness or love?’ Mike asked with narrowed eyes.

‘Their lives are already fucked up, nothing I can do to make them worse,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘And that’s how you truly feel? That you will spend the rest of your days with one or the other, or both maybe, let’s not rule that scenario out for such a bad guy as yourself,’ Mike suggested.

‘You’re mocking me,’ Jesse looked disappointed. ‘But I am not going to hurt another soul that doesn’t deserve it, joke all you like,’ Jesse plainly stated.

Mike saw the conviction in Jesse’s eyes, and it pained him inside. ‘Then you’re more an idiot than I thought,’ Mike simply said, and Jesse avoided his gaze, looking down instead at his feet. ‘You should sleep, it’s late and you need to have your wits about you in the coming days if you truly are going to let those two monsters fight over you.’

Jesse slowly got to his feet and moved to the other side of the bed. He took his t-shirt off then undressed down to his boxers before getting into the bed.

‘What would you do?’ Jesse quietly asked once they were both settled on their respective sides.

‘In your shoes?’ Mike sighed. ‘You have unknown people looking for you, assuming to kill you or possibly to force you to cook you against your will. You’re holed up hiding in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with two old men who have made no secret of wanting to get into your pants, and you have nowhere else to go,’ Mike surmised. ‘You are also by all accounts a millionaire, and since your boss’s death, a free man. You are young, so very young that you can still go anywhere you want, do anything you want, your whole life is right there ahead of you,’ Mike enthused. ‘If I was you kid, I would be telling myself I’m not a prize in some mid-life crisis competition, that I’m not here to be won, and focus only on what I really want in life and just go and do it.’

‘And what the hell do I want?’ Jesse questioned.

‘To not be in your current situation longer than you need to be,’ Mike returned. ‘I will return to ABQ with every intention to help make that happen for you, so you, Jesse, can get out there and start living a life that isn’t this.’

‘I really don’t know what I want,’ Jesse remarked.

‘OK, Jesse, do you really love Walter White?’ Mike asked straight.

Jesse let his head sink into the pillow as he considered the question. ‘I like being with him, I always feel better if he’s around, I don’t know, safe, like there’s a plan, a purpose.’

‘Despite everything he’s done?’ Mike returned.

‘Maybe because of everything he’s done,’ Jesse frowned. ‘Regardless of what he’s physically done, he set out to do something, and he’s done it,’ Jesse explained. ‘Don’t you see that after years of being downtrodden and told he wasn’t good enough, he decided to take matter’s into his own hands. Now, because he did that his family’s future is secured, and now he’s helping me, he doesn’t need to be here, he’s here because I need his help not because he needs to be here.’

‘He made you kill a guy, an innocent guy,’ Mike offered.

‘Really? Innocent? Gale was on Gus’s payroll just like you and me, he was working with Mr White producing Crystal Meth. He was the one who created that god damn lab!’ Jesse protested. ‘Gale knew what he was getting into and yes, I feel guilty. I am living everyday with the guilt of what I did, and I still see his face pleading with me not to kill him. You know what? Fuck you for bringing him up Mike, that’s fucking low,’ Jesse sat up abruptly and brought his hands around his knees.

‘You’re right, I shouldn’t have mentioned him,’ Mike sounded remorseful. ‘I’m sorry, kid.’

Composing himself a little, Jesse sighed before he continued talking in a quieter voice. ‘I pulled that trigger, me, that was my decision. Mr White needed my help, and I didn’t want to let him down. That’s not on Mr White, that’s totally on me because you, Mike, were about to kill someone in cold blood that I cared about, so does that make you as much to blame for what I did?’

Mike remained quiet for a moment as he considered Jesse’s emotional response. The kid sure knew how to turn tables and make him feel like an idiot. ‘So, what’s the deal with Del Burley?’ Mike finally asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Jesse answered, and seemed to be relieved by the swift change in topic.

‘When Walter mentioned you went with him, he implied it wasn’t just tea and cakes at his house,’ Mike ventured.

‘We fucked, is that what you are referring to?’ Jesse bluntly said, his high emotions returning. ‘And no, I don’t know why or what made me do that, but it happened, yo, and I wanted it,’ Jesse rubbed his face, feeling his emotions bubbling once again.

‘And this drug he gave you?’ Mike asked.

‘It’s fucked up I know, ok? He drugged me,’ Jesse took a needed moment to compose himself once again before continuing, ‘I couldn’t move for the most part but once I got feeling and some movement back, that’s when I instigated things,’ Jesse remembered.

‘So, at no time did he encourage anything?’ Mike questioned.

‘He just wanted to talk,’ Jesse frowned. ‘I had no choice but to listen, but he didn’t touch me or shit when he had every opportunity to do what the hell he wanted, if he wanted to. It was only after I was sick and needed his help to stop me choking to death that he even got close,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘For what it’s worth that information changes nothing, I still don’t trust Del Burley. I trust him less than I trust Walter White,’ Mike responded. ‘Nothing you have said has changed my mind, and I’m satisfied that you appear as confused as anyone as to why what happened, happened. Let’s just put that down to just bad choices and circumstances on the day and draw a line.’

‘Sounds so easy said like that,’ Jesse sighed, and lay back down. ‘But fact remains I don’t hate Del, there’s something dangerous about him that I think I’m drawn to. I can’t fight him, I’m scared that I might be able to fall for him, does that even make sense?’

‘I can’t believe I’m about to say this, kid, but it might be your best option to stay close to Walter. Whilst you are here maybe, explore whatever that is, rather than risk what the other could be,’ Mike suggested. ‘Failing that just keep your wits about you around them both, but I think you need someone, kid, right now that you can be close to. Focus on fixing that head of yours and we both know Walter is your best bet given the choices. I’d take you back with me, but I don’t want to risk what could be waiting for you back home until I know more, much more.’

‘Can you imagine leaving Mr White and Del here together,’ Jesse then grinned, lightening the mood instantly. ‘I’m the only reason either of them is even here, let’s be honest. The risk to his life is just a secondary thought to Del, I’m not stupid. Mr White is only here to stop me running away with Del.’

‘I very much believe that, on both counts. The threat however is very real, kid, there are crazies out there seemingly gunning for you, tailing my men trying to find you,’ Mike reminded him.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse simply said. ‘Thanks for this, Mike, the chat, it’s really helped,’ Jesse offered before settling down, and a few moments later sleep finally claimed him.

* * *

When Jesse awoke Mike was gone, and the sun was shining bright through the window. He could hear voices coming from outside the room, but he wasn’t awake enough yet to distinguish who they were. He slowly sat up and rubbed his face, it felt like he had been asleep for a while. With some effort Jesse swung his legs over the side of the bed and retrieved the only clothes he had with him, and put them on, not bothered by the fact he’d been wearing them for a couple of days already, it was the least of his concerns.

Once dressed Jesse checked his appearance in the mirror, his buzzcut was already growing out a bit, and he had the first signs of a beard. He found he was becoming less concerned about the state of his appearance, but still Jesse hoped his stuff would arrive soon. He realised in that moment that It had been a long while since he’d properly looked at his own reflection. He saw the fresh scars, bumps and bruises still scattered about his face from the events of the past few weeks. He then mentally noted to himself not to make a habit of looking at himself too often.

Finally, after his brief reflections Jesse decided he couldn’t stay in the room forever, and still hearing the voices, one of which was definitely Mr White, Jesse stepped outside the room and headed to the main living area.

‘Jesse, you just about made it before midday,’ Walter White said as he checked his watch.

‘Was tired, I guess,’ Jesse murmured and headed to the fridge, taking out the juice carton and pouring himself a glass. He noticed Del Burley was sat opposite Mr White at the kitchen table, Mike was nowhere to be seen. ‘Has Mike left already?’ Jesse asked and found his voice was even deeper than usual, so took some needed sips of the juice.

‘No, he’s just gone to get your stuff. He got a text at 7am apparently but should be back soon,’ Walt answered.

‘Did you two have fun last night?’ Del suggestively asked.

‘He kept me up most of the night if you must know,’ Jesse returned and saw the unsure look on Del’s face. ‘Dude, seriously jealousy doesn’t look good on you.’

‘You do, however,’ Del smiled.

‘If I’d eaten, I’d be puking it up a little by now,’ Jesse retorted.

‘Speaking of which, when did you last eat?’ Walt asked.

‘When did we stop at the truck stop?’ Jesse queried.

‘Jesse, seriously, that can’t have been the last time you ate?’ Walt checked.

‘You’ve been with me the entire time, Mr White, you know it is,’ Jesse countered.

‘Let me cook you up some grilled cheese,’ Del offered.

‘Cool,’ Jesse shrugged, as he drank some more of his juice.

With Del preoccupied in the kitchen Walt lowered his voice as he spoke to Jesse. ‘How are you feeling after that discussion last night?’

‘Kept me up most of the night, hence why I’ve only just got up,’ Jesse admitted. ‘Mike helped me a bit to sort some things out, we talked for a while. It certainly got me thinking about a few things.’

‘Likewise,’ Walt admitted. ‘I really just want to help you, Jesse, I have no interest in power plays with that guy.’

‘Good,’ Jesse offered, glancing at Del as he busied himself in the kitchen. ‘I don’t want any tension with him, we all need to get along for the sake of our sanity, but I don’t want him to,’ Jesse paused, trying to think of the words. ‘I don’t know, pressure me?’

‘I think I’m now satisfied that he’s not Grant, I get the impression we can trust him to a point, so I’m a little relieved about that but he still has eyes on you. The man definitely has an agenda, maybe even prepared to sit it out and wait, so worth keeping an eye on,’ Walt suggested. ‘I mean, I would think you’re crazy if you decided to ever become more with him. Then I think that the times we live in, what you’ve been through, what is actually crazy for either of us anymore?’

Jesse looked at Walt. ‘And if I’ve decided that maybe you are the one that I want to be with?’

Walt looked genuinely surprised by the question and hesitated for a moment. ‘Then, I’d still think you’re crazy, but as I said what is crazy for either of us anymore?’ Walt smiled. ‘Are you being serious, are you saying what I think you’re saying?’

Jesse just grinned, with the smallest of nods before looking away.

‘What are you two up to?’ Del spoke up suddenly, breaking the moment, having caught the smiles.

‘Just remembering something, this one time we shared breakfast and I forgot Jesse had graduated high school. Me, one of his teachers, forgetting that? I was right there on the stage when he picked up his certificate,’ Walt quickly covered with fake amusement.

‘Well played,’ Jesse hissed as Del joined in laughing at the fake joke, before turning his attention back to the grilled cheese sandwiches he was cooking up. ‘So, we just play it cool for the moment, Mr White, ok? Till this is over, and we just try and tolerate Del’s behaviour.’

‘That might not be so easy, but you have just made me a very happy old man,’ Walt offered before Del proclaimed his work of arts ready to eat, bringing over a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches. He picked out one specifically, and offered it to Jesse.

‘There you go my love,’ Del proclaimed to Jesse, and then picked another. ‘And one for the old man, I hope you put your teeth in this morning,’ he smirked.

‘I see, that’s how you’re going to be,’ Walt returned playing along with a smile.

‘You know I’m just joking,’ Del smiled genuinely, and they began to tuck into the sandwiches. ‘Hey Jesse, don’t eat it so quick, chew your food, I don’t want a repeat of the other night.’

Jesse stopped himself and did slow down, he took another bite and then put the sandwich down on the plate, to pace himself. ‘Thanks,’ he offered.

‘It’s like you have two dads looking out for you now, three if Mike was still here,’ Del observed.

‘And it’ll get real boring real quick, if it continues, yo,’ Jesse returned. ‘Didn’t you feel insulted once when someone suggested you were my dad, how come it’s cool now?’

‘That’s right, I’d forgotten about that shop lady, she was a bitch. I remember the looks she was giving you, like you were some piece of dirt,’ Del remembered.

‘That was funny, your face when she asked if my dad was paying,’ Jesse grinned, and began to laugh at the memory.

‘When was this?’ Walt asked.

‘Ah it was early on, right? When you brought me that first batch of new clothes,’ Jesse prompted Del.

‘Yeah, the first proper shopping trip, you were so wide eyed at all the stuff I was getting you,’ Del recalled. ‘It was so obvious you just never got stuff, and it was nice to see that excitement.’

‘I was on cloud nine, man,’ Jesse picked up the sandwich again, and took another bite. ‘It was one of those things you always wished could happen, and then it did, just being able to buy the shop practically.’

Walter White watched the exchange, he wanted to be angry at how Del had brought Jesse’s affection as a fifteen-year-old. How he had preyed on the wishes of a teenager with such ease but focusing on Jesse he saw nothing but joy at the memory coming from him, and he couldn’t deny him a happy memory from his youth. They were so few, so he smiled along with them both as they remembered.

‘You must be loaded now, I’m sure shopping trips like those are regular occurrences,’ Del then mentioned.

‘Yeah, had a few like that since, never tire of the looks I get before I pay,’ Jesse smirked.

‘So how rich are you?’ Del then asked, looking at both Jesse and Walt but neither rushed to answer. ‘Come on, rough ballpark, I want to know if I can be proud of what you’ve achieved despite the shit you went through, at least tell me you’re worth more than your shitty would-be parents?’

‘Yeah, I’m sure I definitely have more money than them,’ Jesse confirmed. ‘I don’t actually know how much I have,’ Jesse looked at Walt. ‘We kind of just took what we needed, put the rest in the care of a trusted person who either stored it, or invested it.’

‘Very smart, and I’m so happy you’re loaded, Jesse, seriously. I remember your dad talking shit about how you’ll be on handouts for life,’ Del grinned. ‘Listen, if you need to launder anything, I have plenty of small business interests that I can utilise for you, just say, ok?’

‘Sure,’ Jesse agreed, and finished his sandwich, noticing the others had long finished their own.

‘So, what are we supposed to do around this place?’ Del then asked.

‘Keep a low profile,’ Walt offered.

‘I need to freshen up, Mr White do you have some toothpaste I can borrow?’ Jesse asked.

‘Sure, follow me,’ Walt offered and the two of them walked back to Walt’s room. Jesse waited by the door whilst Mr White rummaged in his bag, he seemed to have doubles or triples of everything as he handed Jesse not only some toothpaste but a spare toothbrush as well. ‘I think, or suspect, Skyler packed for you as well as me for toiletries, she always buys in bulk I’m guessing we had plenty to spare.’

Jesse took the items, and then the spare soap and facecloth Walt found, followed by a hand towel.

‘Wow, this is great, thanks,’ Jesse reacted and turned to go to the bathroom, finding Del heading towards them.

‘Just going to lie down for a little while, I have a book,’ He awkwardly spoke up. ‘I’ve been trying to finish it for a while, seems a good time as any,’ Del offered but the manner of his entire being suggested he had been checking to see what Walt and Jesse were up to.

‘Ok, cool, I have stuff now, so I’ll go freshen up,’ Jesse gestured to the items in his hands, making it as clear as anything that nothing had happened between him and Walt, increasing Del’s embarrassment.

‘I’ll see if I can get any reception on the old TV in the living area,’ Walt offered, and the three men went their separate ways.

Jesse entered the bathroom and made sure to lock the door, suddenly feeling a little uneasy about Del and hoping they’d all just relax soon enough.

* * *

‘Jesse!’

Jesse didn’t move from where he was sat outside, he had wandered a little into the forest around the cabin and found a creek that he was now sat besides, enjoying the peace.

‘Jesse!’

Mr White didn’t sound so friendly now, so Jesse figured he should say something.

‘Over here,’ Jesse yelled.

There were sounds of someone approaching and soon he was stood beside him. ‘Mike’s here, he’s got your bags,’ Mr White advised. ‘You ok?’

‘Yeah, just needed some air,’ Jesse offered.

‘Plenty of that here, just take a look at these views,’ Walt agreed, looking around in wonder.

‘Hey, there you two are,’ Del’s voice boomed and Jesse couldn’t help the eye roll. ‘Wow what an amazing place, that creek is so calming.’

Jesse got to his feet. ‘Yeah, it was,’ Jesse remarked and started to walk back to the cabin.

‘What’s up with him?’ Del asked towards Walt once Jesse had disappeared back through the trees.

‘Nothing, I think he just wants his stuff,’ Walt offered innocently, but hadn’t missed Jesse annoyance at being disturbed, unsure if it was him or Del, or both, that had caused it.

When they both arrived back at the cabin Mike was alone in the kitchen, with the bags gone. ‘I take it Jesse has taken his stuff to his room?’ Walt observed.

‘Yeah, wasn’t very talkative,’ Mike responded. ‘Has everything been ok whilst I was gone?’ Mike asked.

‘I think so,’ Del offered and looked at Walt.

‘Yeah, we’ve just been keeping ourselves to ourselves for the most part, you weren’t exactly gone long,’ Walt stated.

‘I’ll just go check on Jesse, and then I think I’ll hit the road so I can be back in ABQ for dinner,’ Mike gestured and walked the short distance to Jesse’s room. ‘Hey, kid, I’m going to be going soon, just wanted to make sure you’d see the extras I added to your bag, figured you might need it,’ Mike stated.

Jesse looked at the bags, he hadn’t opened them yet so went over to the one Mike pointed to and found a few packs of cigarettes, and some snack foods Mike knew he was fond of.

‘Thanks,’ Jesse genuinely smiled.

‘Just take it easy with your lungs and try and take advantage of the fresh air up here,’ Mike advised.

‘I will,’ Jesse agreed. ‘It’s really nice around here, I can see some good walks already.’

‘Good,’ Mike returned.

‘Where is here, anyway? Colorado or did we sneak into Wyoming?’ Jesse idly asked.

‘Top end of Colorado, you have the towns of Baggs and Craig a few miles in either direction, fairly remote but not totally middle of nowhere,’ Mike informed. ‘There are a few other cabins dotted around so still be careful if you do wander, but this community tend to keep itself to itself.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse acknowledged.

‘We have a lead with Declan’s gang, I think we can give them enough to think about so they back off but might take a week or so to set up,’ Mike stated. ‘I want you to have this, don’t let the others know you have it.’ Jesse took the burner phone from Mike, looking confused. ‘Let’s just say I still don’t trust either of them, anything happens you get as far away from here and you call me, understood?’ Mike checked and Jesse nodded his head in return. ‘I have this phone tracked to my own, so no matter where you go, I’ll find you so long as it’s on you, so just keep it on you.’

‘Thanks,’ Jesse pocketed the phone.

‘I don’t know about you, but I’m finding Del Burley is being far too cooperative for my liking,’ Mike then mentioned.

‘He’s being a little odd today, whenever me and Mr White have any time in the same space he seems to show up,’ Jesse remarked. ‘I mean, I don’t know, I don’t think this is his thing at all, the wilderness so he might just feel a little anxious, but I hope he snaps out of that.’

‘Or he doesn’t want you and Walt having any time together,’ Mike offered.

‘Yeah, maybe, thanks for getting my stuff, and for the extras,’ Jesse took a packet of the cigarettes and a lighter and put them in his pocket.

‘I wish I could say this is going to be easy, but I will try and fix things so you can return home as soon as possible,’ Mike confirmed.

Jesse just nodded his head and with Mike they returned to the main living space, where Walt and Del were now drinking coffee.

‘Anyone?’ Del offered the coffee pot and Mike nodded his head, whilst Jesse headed to the door.

‘Just going for a smoke,’ Jesse simply said.

‘Is he ok?’ Walt asked towards Mike, once Jesse had left the cabin.

‘I think he’s just processing,’ Mike sat down. ‘Give him time and some space.’

‘Of course,’ Walt agreed.

They sat in silence as they drank their coffee before Del got up, ‘Think I need a smoke too,’ he proclaimed and left the cabin.

Walt and Mike exchanged a look. ‘If he keeps floating around the boy like that then we won’t have to worry about Jesse and him becoming a thing,’ Mike observed.

‘Has he said something?’ Walt asked.

‘He mentioned that Del keeps appearing when you are both together, that he’s acting odd, he doesn’t seem too happy about it,’ Mike offered.

‘I wasn’t sure how he was with that, but I’ve noticed it too. He doesn’t seem so cocky about this great bond he and Jesse share when he does it,’ Walt sighed. ‘Jesse reassured me earlier that things are good between me and him. I just want you to know that you can trust me, Mike, I won’t do anything stupid, I just want to help him.’

‘Good, I did need to hear that,’ Mike offered. ‘I may have overreacted the other day, when I hit you. I just can’t help feeling that kid can’t help himself sometimes, as I think you’ve mentioned before, he’s got under my skin,’ Mike half smiled. ‘So, when I heard about you, and him, I just flipped.’

‘I get it, I really do, and when I started having these feelings,’ Walt paused. ‘I can’t even explain it, I’ve never had these feelings before for Jesse, or any man, not like this. it’s a little new to me but keeping him safe, making him happy, it’s intoxicating when he lets you in,’ Walt tried to explain. ‘When I was a student I fooled around, what student didn’t? But it was never more than a drunken fumble, and then I met Skyler and I never thought I’d need anyone else.’

‘So, he really has got under your skin?’ Mike realised.

‘Truly has,’ Walt half smiled.

‘So, this thing Del has for Jesse, do you get that?’ Mike asked with genuine interest.

‘You’d think I would, right, with the way I’ve fallen for Jesse? But I truly don’t get it, I see Del looking at him and it scares me, it’s predatory, almost creepy at times,’ Walt explained. ‘I believe every word Del says that he thinks he loves Jesse, that he needs Jesse, but I don’t see a healthy need, and whatever it is Del has for Jesse it’s really not something I’d wish for Jesse to encourage.’

Mike that looked at Walt. ‘But you see what I see coming from Jesse too, don’t you? That concerns you too, doesn’t it?’ Mike ventured.

Walt looked back at Mike before speaking, slowly nodding his head with a sigh. ‘I think I do, only caught it a couple of times. It’s not always there but when they are chatting, Jesse gets this glazed look, right? I can’t quite describe it,’ Walt explained.

‘Captivated, like he’s under a spell?’ Mike offered.

Walt sighed again. ‘I’ll keep an eye on it, we can’t stop them seeing each other right now but now I know you see it too and it’s not just me overthinking or being green eyed, I’ll try my best to curtail its effects, shall we say?’ Walt grinned.

‘Jesse isn’t an idiot, but I do believe Del will have a box of tricks he’ll start to put into play to win the kid over, to gain his trust. Probably won’t make any sort of obvious move on him whilst he’s here, but stay alert, anything is possible with that man. He will likely overwhelm Jesse with kindness, you might have to up your own game, so he has competition. Just don’t sacrifice the kid’s sanity, remain focused, don’t let Del’s games consume you as well, for the sake of Jesse, ok?’ Mike warned.

‘Good point, I will endeavour to be the bigger man,’ Walt confirmed. ‘Wish me luck,’ he added with a nervous air.

‘I need to get going so I can be back in the city before nightfall,’ Mike then stood up. ‘If you have any concerns, then I do have people I know close by. They are keeping watch from a distance, who can help if needed. No doubt you’ll uncover them yourself, but I’m not going to try and pretend they are not here.’

‘Good to know,’ Walt stood up and shook Mike’s hand. ‘And I forgive you for the moment you flipped,’ he added.

Mike nodded his head and gathered his things before they both exited the cabin to see Jesse and Del sat side by side smoking. They were talking about something, but it wasn’t clear what, but they both stopped when Mike offered his goodbyes.

‘Will you be coming back anytime?’ Jesse asked, as he flicked some ash safely on the ground.

‘Only when it’s safe to pick you up and take you back,’ Mike stated. ‘I will have people leave stuff outside, essentials and food every other day or so, you don’t need to worry.’

‘So, we can’t leave at all?’ Del checked.

‘You can try, but it’s a good two hours walk to the nearest town, and I don’t know what animals might find you tasty in these parts, I wouldn’t risk it myself,’ Mike offered calmly.

‘Point taken,’ Del took a final drag on his cigarette before putting it out.

And with that, they watched as Mike got into his car and reversed it around to head back to civilisation.

‘So, now it’s just us,’ Del remarked.

‘I’m sure Mike has people posted close by, just in case,’ Jesse commented.

‘You think?’ Del checked.

‘Certain of it,’ Jesse returned.

‘I wouldn’t be surprised, he’s very much a cover all bases guy,’ Walt agreed, not revealing that Mike had already confirmed this with him.

‘Sucks to be them,’ Del shrugged. ‘I mean, they could be sat out there for days, right? Nothing to do, at least we have a cabin to hang about in.’

‘If they are working shifts, they get to go home at the end of each shift, to their families, live a normal life,’ Jesse countered.

‘We will just never know, will we?’ Del half smiled, glancing around the surrounds as if hoping to spot them.

‘I feel pretty safe here,’ Jesse stated. ‘It could have been a lot worse.’

Walt stood nearby and nodded his head. ‘Could have been some place cold or extreme heat, this is nice,’ he observed.

‘I’m going to just have a lie down, catch up with my book,’ Del announced and wasted little time getting to his feet and going inside.

Walt took the opportunity to take his place sitting next to Jesse on the porch. ‘Has he actually left us both together, on our own?’ Walt mocked.

Jesse grinned. ‘We could really freak him out and go for a walk along the creek,’ Jesse suggested.

‘That sounds nice, shall we?’ Walt asked.

‘Yeah, come on,’ Jesse encouraged and they both headed off into the forest.

In his room Del scrambled in his bag and took out a phone, he quickly activated it and composed a text message. ‘When ready and in position be prepared for look-outs around the area, apparently the old man likes to cover all bases, take them out before going to the main plan.’

Del deactivated the phone and put it back into his clothing, he took a deep breath before glancing out the window and seeing Jesse disappearing with the old teacher into the forest, and his anger rose slightly at the sight. He was finding this a lot harder than he first figured, he thought he had already won Jesse over but seems he had more work to do there.


	6. Strained Relations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Del causes tensions that unsettles both Walt and Jesse to breaking point, whilst they continue to try and make the forced situation work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time of posting this, the sixth chapter, I think I'm pleased to confirm that I have now started writing a potential part 5 that I hope will become a real part 5 - having been inspired whilst posting this and seeing the hits and kudos are still there (thanks!!!). If there are any aspects of this story that grab you, intrigue you - particularly involving the relationship between Jesse and Walt, Jesse and his family and also Jesse and Mike, please let me know your comments - I'll ask again at the end of this story, but it might help me know what people want to see in part 5 if I'm not already writing it :)

Walt and Jesse were following the creek, the sounds of the trickling water and the birds singing having the desired effect on their wellbeing.

‘This really does make you think doesn’t it?’ Walt then spoke up. ‘We can get so caught up in our little bubbles, and all the while places like this exist where you can just forget about it all.’

Jesse glanced back at Walt with an amused look on his face. ‘I always seem to get caught up in everyone else’s drama bubbles, Mr White. I’ve never had a problem escaping into my own little worlds to forget about it.’

‘Yes,’ Mr White sighed. ‘Only your little worlds as you call them are illegal and highly dangerous,’ Walt returned.

‘I’d kill for a small escape into one now,’ Jesse remarked casually.

‘Seriously? With all this fresh air and idyllic surrounds, you still would rather stick something up your nose or inject?’ Walt questioned.

‘I’m an addict, Mr White, it’s all we ever think about,’ Jesse calmly replied.

For a moment Walt saw a Jesse who seemed old beyond his tender years. ‘I can’t imagine what that must be like,’ Walt admitted.

Jesse shrugged. ‘I don’t remember what it felt like not to feel it,’ he considered and stopped for a moment as he spotted movement in the foliage up ahead. His hand came out to encourage Mr White to move with him into the shadow of a tree, as he kept his eyes on where the movement had occurred.

Jesse gestured to get lower, so the plant life better hid them from view, they were now both crouched down. Suddenly a bundle of fur burst through into the space where Jesse and Walt had just been stood, a Labrador with chocolate brown fur began to actively sniff the ground in an excitable fashion.

‘Jasper! Jasper get back here, come on boy!’ a female voice could be heard.

‘Mike said there’s people nearby we needed to look out for,’ Jesse whispered, sounding stressed.

The dog’s ears stood up, but its head turned to the direction where Jesse and Walt were hiding.

‘Jasper!’

Instead of going towards its owner’s voice, the dog headed directly to the two crouching men and practically leaped into Jesse’s lap. ‘Ok, boy, get down,’ Jesse hissed quietly. ‘Yes, you’re a good boy now go, get out of here, scram,’ Jesse battled the dog’s affections much to Walt’s amusement.

‘JASPER!’ the female voice sounded angry now, and that seemed to get the dog’s attention as suddenly he let Jesse push him away, and he scurried back through the bush to return to his owner. ‘There you are, Jasper, you shouldn’t run off like that! Oh look at you, did you go paddling in that creek, naughty boy, come on.’

Jesse held his breath until the female voice was no longer heard, and then heard Walt burst into a fit of laughter. After a moment, Jesse joined him, as they realised the dog had got mud all over Jesse’s shirt. ‘Oh my god, that dog,’ Jesse complained light-heartedly as he tried to assess the damage.

‘Of course the dog went straight for you,’ Walt said with amusement.

‘I did nothing to encourage it,’ Jesse said as he got to his feet then offered a hand to help Walt get up.

‘You don’t have to encourage anything, Jesse, things are just magically drawn to you, danger, drugs, trouble, dogs,’ Walt paused before slyly smiling. ‘Me,’ he added as he took Jesse’s hand and pulled himself up to stand in front of the younger man.

‘Smooth,’ Jesse grinned, and neither man attempted to move away from each other as they stood close for a moment before Jesse finally stepped back. ‘don’t want to get mud all over you,’ he gestured unsure.

‘I’ll risk the extra washing,’ Walt pulled Jesse easily back, and into a hug that Jesse seemed to melt into as he wrapped his arms around the older man. ‘You’ve seemed like you’ve needed this for a while now.’

‘I think I have,’ Jesse murmured, his head resting against Walt’s shoulder. He felt Walt’s breath on his neck, he light feathery kisses were felt, and Jesse was reminded again how much things had changed recently between them, and how much he enjoyed the attentions from Mr White. Jesse sensed movement suddenly became apprehensive as he noticed Del quietly watching them, and he felt his stomach flip when Del signalled for him to be quiet. Del didn’t want Walt to know he was there as he leaned against a tree trunk to watch.

Walter’s hands were moving with more purpose now, brushing over Jesse’s back being careful not to be too rough over the still healing wounds. Jesse could tell Walt was getting into whatever this was, but Jesse’s eyes remained locked on Del, fear growing inside and after a few more moments he pushed away from Walter and put some distance between them.

Walt looked shocked, disappointed even as he looked at Jesse confused, but Jesse wasn’t looking at him, but past him.

‘Oh Jesse, it was just getting interesting,’ Del finally spoke up and Walt spun around with anger.

‘Do you mind?’ Walt simply stated.

‘What?’ Del offered defensively. ‘I was just going for a stroll and I saw you both. Honestly, you two have a certain charm together.’

Jesse without word just walked past them both and headed back to the cabin with haste, leaving Walt to glare at Del. ‘Happy now?’

‘He needs to relax,’ Del dismissed.

‘You need to learn about boundaries,’ Walt returned. ‘We were having a private moment.’

‘In a public open space,’ Del pointed out. ‘If that’s how you two get your kicks, ok, but you know half of the thrill is getting caught when you do that.’

‘We were just hugging, Jesse needed some reassurance, what is wrong with you?’ Walt demanded.

‘Oh, we both know it was going someplace else,’ Del smirked.

‘Which is absolutely none of your business,’ Walt stated and began to head back to the cabin.

‘Look ok, I didn’t realise this thing you have is so private, ok?’ Del hurried after him.

‘What do you mean didn’t realise?’ Walt stopped and faced Del. ‘Of course, why am I surprised a man who beds fifteen-year-old boys wouldn’t know about social etiquette, silly me,’ Walt stressed angrily.

‘Whoa, come on now, that’s low,’ Del raised his hands in his own defence. ‘Again, you were both in an open space, a quite public space. It’s not like I was sat in the corner of your bedroom, after you locked a door or something,’ he argued. ‘And as you say, you were only hugging so what gives with the personal attack?’

‘Oh come on!’ Walt yelled. ‘You know it was much more than that, you have given Jesse very little space, watching his every move so don’t you dare try to act so innocent,’ Walt sneered.

‘Wow, ok, so we’re having another being honest session I see,’ Del stated, standing his ground. ‘My turn, you make me sick with your high and mighty attitude, you are twice his fucking age what the hell are you thinking taking advantage of him like that?’

Walt stood stunned by the sudden attack, one he could barely defend but for it to come from Del Burley, it really stung. ‘You cannot judge me, don’t you dare judge me and my actions,’ Walt simply stated.

‘Can’t I? Why? Just because I didn’t wait the four or so months with Jesse to be legal?’ Del retuned.

‘You keep mentioning this ‘he was only just so many months from being legal’ stuff like it makes a difference, well let me tell you something, the legal age is sixteen, not fifteen and a half, or nearly sixteen give or take a few months,’ Walt stressed loudly. ‘And it wasn’t as if you were sixteen either, what were you? Twenty-six? Over ten years older and you were lusting over a vulnerable and desperate fifteen-year-old, and you dare to call me out?’ Walt stated firmly. ‘Jesse is twenty-five, soon to be twenty-six and more than mature enough now to know his own mind and body, the same age now that you were when you decided it was perfectly ok to bed an underage Jesse, funny that,’ Walt surmised. ‘If he wants to be with someone twice his age then there is no law in the land to prevent that, unlike how things were in your case,’ Walt finished and continued walking back to the cabin.

Del stood for a moment watching the old man walk back, quietly seething at how that had played out. He had got complacent falling for the thinking that Walter White was a meek, mild mannered man who might get threatened by being called out, but the opposite was true and Del had to remember that this was Heisenberg, and he had finally seen a bit of that bite in person. With a sigh Del turned back towards the creek and decided a different tact was needed, and he needed time to think about it.

* * *

Jesse was lying on his bed when he heard the knock on the door and he debated for a moment as to whether to respond or not, then he heard Mr White call his name softly and sighed heavily.

‘Come in,’ Jesse called out, and watched as Walt hurried in and closed the door, without speaking he locked the door and walked to the window and closed the shutters making the room darker. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Sorry I just need some time without that man being able to interrupt,’ Walt explained, pacing the small area at the end of the bed clearly angry. ‘Can you believe he gave me a lecture, me?’

‘About what?’ Jesse asked, sitting up slightly.

‘About us, what else?’ Walt snapped then offered a hand in apology. ‘Sorry, he’s just worked me up. He was questioning if it was appropriate for a man my age to be having relations with you,’ Walt exclaimed. ‘I can take that sort of comment from Mike, but from him, really?’ Walt flustered. ‘I actually told him that you’re the same age he was when he decided bedding a 15-year-old was ok, so you were more than capable of deciding to bed a man twice your age if you wanted to,’ Walter smiled a little. ‘Only one is legal and one isn’t, that seemed to knock the wind out of his sails a bit.’

‘He’s just testing you,’ Jesse dismissed, showing no surprise. 

‘That may well be right but,’ Walt paused. ‘I just can’t believe the gall of the man.’

‘He always gets what he wants, and you have what he wants, so he’s doing his thing to unsettle you,’ Jesse adjusted his position to sit on the edge of the bed. ‘That whole thing in the woods, sneaking up on us like that. He tried to get me to continue and say nothing, just watching us without you knowing,’ Jesse looked uneasy. ‘He’s annoyed me too, so I get it.’

‘We have nothing to be ashamed off, and I won’t be judged for simply giving you a hug,’ Walt stated firmly.

Jesse got to his feet and moved towards Walt, he reached out and embraced him once he was close enough, and after a moment Walt sighed and hugged Jesse back.

‘We can’t let him get to us,’ Jesse said softly. ‘You know he’ll keep pushing it, I know he’ll try stuff on with me to get at you, I guess we just have to be the better men.’

‘We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but Mike has barely been gone an hour,’ Walt complained.

Jesse pulled back a little, but not enough to break contact. ‘Just know that I wasn’t bullshitting earlier, Mr White, I want to be with you not him. I just can’t guarantee that he won’t catch me off guard, do that thing he does that turns something so innocent into a sudden situation that might look like something else. I don’t think I can always control myself around him, but I will try, I promise, Mr White, I will try,’ Jesse explained with defiance.

‘I know you will Jesse, and I trust you will try, but I’ve seen you talking to him,’ Walt brushed a hand over Jesse’s cheek with fondness. ‘You have this this dopey look on your face, you seem so captivated and Mike described it as you look like being under a spell,’ Walt offered.

‘See, I don’t even know I’m doing that,’ Jesse frowned. ‘It means nothing believe me, but it gives him the wrong idea and well the other night at his place, it went too far because I wasn’t thinking. I let my guard down and suddenly all I wanted was him, I really believed that was the case in the moment,’ Jesse sighed, as he did finally break away. ‘I guess it was like a spell, he’s so connected to a time in my life when I really needed him. I do feel some sort of safety around him, a nostalgia for a time when he made everything that was bad so much better.’

‘You must only just be remembering that feeling, maybe right now it’s a little overwhelming?’ Walt suggested.

‘Yeah, I really felt nothing when I met him after the Grant stuff, almost like I didn’t even register he was there, he was this blank void I wasn’t noticing in any detail,’ Jesse tried to explain. ‘But now, I see him, and it is different and I’m really trying to curb those feelings.’

‘You need to start believing that you were abused, Jesse, that he did hurt you maybe not so much physically but maybe mentally. Believe that what he did to you was wrong, you were not in a good place to be exposed to everything he did, he exploited you and your feelings. I’m not convinced you’ve really reconciled that yet,’ Walt was careful with his words.

‘You say it, and I hear it,’ Jesse stressed. ‘But I just can’t see it like that, I hear my own excuses, my own denial about it, but I know you’re right,’ Jesse moved back to sit on the bed, putting his head in his hands as he sat on the edge. ‘I mean think about it, Mr White, if I started something with your son, he’s fifteen, right? You’re right, I’m now the age Del roughly was, and now I’m thinking about that and it’s just sick, I’d expect you to knock me out of the county if I even looked at your boy funny,’ Jesse gestured. ‘But then for me to actually accept that, then I need to say ‘yes’ I was abused as a kid, but then I find myself looking at my parents and just, how the fuck could they let that happen to their kid?’ Jesse took a deep breath pausing for a moment as his emotions boiled under the surface, there was so much crazy spinning in his head now as he told himself they were not even his parents, just cold-hearted monsters. ‘I just can’t get past any of this, it’s easier to just make excuses and not think that way cos it’s too hard, Mr White, I still have so much to work through and,’ Jesse paused for breath again, his emotions touching the surface as the first tears formed. ‘I’m not strong enough to deal with all that, not yet.’

Walter moved to Jesse’s side and put an arm around his shoulders, giving him a squeeze and holding him tight as he felt his body shake with emotions, and the sobs followed. ‘I’m sorry I shouldn’t have pushed that point, I know it can’t be easy, and being here with your abuser is not helpful at all,’ Walt soothingly said. ‘But you do need to let go, don’t be afraid of the truth, I’m here to help you Jesse, I promise you that.’

After a few minutes Jesse composed himself and sat upright again, Walt stayed close next to him. ‘Why can’t I hate him?’

‘Nostalgia is a strong emotion,’ Walt offered. ‘You remember good times, happy times, and he’s right there amongst those feelings.’

‘But what he did was wrong, and I am struggling to see it like that,’ Jesse wiped his eyes. ‘In fact, the other night I was practically begging him to do it to me again, and he did, Mr White and I let him, and it was fun, I can’t deny that.’

‘I’m not a psychiatrist, I don’t know why you reacted like you did, what could be at play here,’ Walt frowned. ‘But one thing I do know is that man abused you, Jesse, end of, that’s the facts. I’m looking at the damage right here, right now in my arms that confirm it beyond any doubt.’

‘As a kid I know,’ Jesse rubbed his face.

‘And the other night,’ Walt corrected.

‘No, I asked him, I gave him permission, consent,’ Jesse argued defeatedly.

‘Really? After he wined and dined you, drugged you, talked at you for how many hours? Cared for you after his own actions almost killed you when you choked,’ Walt explained. ‘Don’t you see how it really was, in the cold light of day?’

Jesse considered what Mr White was telling him, in truth he really couldn’t, but there was some part of his brain registering the facts that Mr White was planting. Something began to feel different inside, calming almost. ‘I can’t avoid him here, but I need to find a way to not go crazy whilst we’re in this situation.’

‘I can make a suggestion, if it helps?’ Walt smiled, and Jesse just shrugged, before smiling himself when Walt moved in closer and resumed kissing his neck, Walt’s hand continued to stroke his back. ‘We never did finish what we started.’

Jesse twisted round to face Walt, bringing his own hands up to Walt’s face and guiding him to his mouth where they kissed with purpose. Walt gently encouraged Jesse down onto his back, and they scooted to the middle of the bed whilst kissing and groping at each other.

‘What do you want, Jesse?’ Walt then asked quietly.

‘You,’ Jesse responded with certainty, and clothes began to be quickly discarded.

‘Then today is your lucky day,’ Walt proclaimed.

* * *

The pot on the stove was starting to infuse an amazing aroma into the kitchen as Jesse prepared an ad-hoc stew from some of the items that had been left in the fridge for them.

‘What is that?’ Walt asked, clearly impressed.

‘I just put a bunch of that meat and stuff in a pot, whoever is bringing us food made some cool choices,’ Jesse casually replied.

‘Never knew you could cook,’ Walt said then paused. ‘Food, I mean, just going by your own kitchen.’

‘It’s easy when the stuff is magically in the kitchen, I just never know what to buy when I go to the store,’ Jesse answered, then looked at the time. ‘Where do you think he is, did you scare him off?’

‘Probably sulking outside somewhere,’ Walt dismissed. ‘Once he smells the food he’ll be back.’

‘At least he gave us some peace to finally have some time together,’ Jesse offered, his mood certainly brighter than before.

‘Don’t, Jesse,’ Walt warned.

‘What?’ Jesse checked.

‘You’re making him the good guy, if we had that time together it’s of our own doing, nothing to do with him,’ Walt stated.

‘So, you’d do that if he was right here, in the cabin?’ Jesse countered.

‘Why shouldn’t we?’ Walt questioned.

‘It’s kind of weird,’ Jesse argued. ‘Us to doing that, leaving billy no mates out here to just listen, you think that’s a cool move, and not a dick move?’

‘There you go again, stop painting him as the victim, Jesse,’ Walt pointed out.

‘I’m not, I mean I don’t mean to, but you must get my point? Even amongst the best of friends there’s nothing worse than being the third wheel in a situation,’ Jesse attempted to explain.

‘After what he said to me, I have so very little regard for his feelings,’ Walt stubbornly stated.

‘Look, just keep an eye on this, make sure it doesn’t dry out or burn, or whatever,’ Jesse ordered. ‘It’s getting dark, I’m going to find him and get him to come back inside,’ Jesse declared.

‘I’ll go,’ Walt stood up to stop Jesse.

‘If he sees you, he might stay hidden after earlier and,’ Jesse sighed. ‘Come on, it’ll just be easier if I go find him. He can’t stay out there all night, and we don’t know the animals lurking out there, it also gets pretty cold.’

Walt wanted to object but he remembered their agreement to be better men. ‘Fine, but just be careful.’

‘I will, you don’t have to worry,’ Jesse assured him, and as an added gesture he kissed him. It was a little awkward as they weren’t quite use to that sort of show of affection yet, but it seemed to convey what Jesse was hoping for.

He grabbed one of the winter coats that belonged to the cabin and ventured outside, there was still enough light that he could see well enough but he knew in another twenty minutes or so it would be complete darkness out there, so he needed to be quick. He hurried down to the creek, noticing the change in sounds and atmosphere as the night slowly encroached.

‘Del?’ Jesse called out as he approached the small clearing by the creek.

It took a few moments before he heard a reply. ‘Over here,’ Del called back, and Jesse could now see him sat on some rocks.

‘Food’s nearly ready, you are coming back?’ Jesse asked.

‘Yeah,’ Del sighed. ‘I messed up, didn’t I?’

‘Forget about it, let’s just have dinner and move on,’ Jesse encouraged but Del remained where he was.

‘I saw Heisenberg today, for the first time,’ Del offered quietly.

‘Oh,’ Jesse could only respond. ‘He doesn’t take kindly to people telling him what he can and can’t do.’

‘He told you?’ Del checked.

‘You got him pretty worked up, but he’s cool now,’ Jesse insisted. ‘Look, I calmed the hulk down so he’s back to being old Mr White, it’s all good,’ Jesse smiled.

‘And how exactly did you help with that process?’ Del queried.

‘Don’t,’ Jesse kicked his feet. ‘Can we just go back?’

‘Why the hell do you keep calling him fucking Mr White?’ Del exclaimed with sudden aggression in his voice. ‘Don’t you see how patronising that is for you?’

Jesse’s eyes flared for a moment in reaction. ‘Seriously, yo, let’s just move on, get back, eat some food,’ Jesse persisted, and began to move.

‘Do you love him?’ Del then asked.

‘None of your business,’ Jesse stated, keeping moving.

‘Jesse wait, don’t just go, come on, I need to know,’ Del stated and Jesse stopped, but didn’t turn to face him. ‘I’m sorry if I’m sounding off, but I’m worried about you.’

‘Don’t be,’ Jesse said, with his back still to Del. ‘Look, it’s getting dark real quick, yo, we got to get back.’

Jesse could sense Del was finally moving, and knew he was walking up behind him. When he felt his hands move around his waist to physically stop him from walking, Jesse was not overly surprised and kept repeating the word abuser in his mind, knowing he had to keep his wits about him.

‘You’re lovely and warm,’ Del whispered, leaning into Jesse’s neck.

‘And you’re fucking cold,’ Jesse stepped forward, breaking the contact. ‘Let’s just get back.’

‘You wanted me the other night, begged for it, so what’s changed? Is that old guy feeding you crap about me?’ Del asked, Jesse still had his back to him.

‘No, Del, you caught me at a low moment after you nearly killed me and paralysed me,’ Jesse explained.

‘Hey, you stuffed yourself with pizza, that wasn’t my doing,’ Del defended.

‘If I hadn’t been paralysed, I wouldn’t have choked,’ Jesse returned, standing firm.

‘Don’t be like this,’ Del spoke sadly.

‘Then just please, come back to the house, eat the food, and move on,’ Jesse stressed again and finally turned to face Del. ‘Look, shit like this isn’t helping, yo! The longer we are out here, the longer things will seem odd because I just told Mr White that I was only coming to get you, now he’s back there knowing it’s taking too long!’ Jesse fumed. ‘Why do this? Why create the tensions or is that your plan?’

Del stared at Jesse with a glare he’d never seen before, a hateful look that actually scared Jesse a little. ‘I’m starting to think I taught you a little too well,’ Del stated, relaxing his look a little.

Jesse took a needed deep breath. ‘How so?’

‘Because that’s exactly what I’m trying to do, you’ve seen right through me,’ Del smirked. ‘I don’t want you with that wrinkly old man, Jesse, I want you here in my arms, with me.’

Jesse closed his eyes and composed himself before speaking. ‘Please, can we all just get along, this whole thing will be so much easier if we just do that one thing.’

‘Only if get along means we get to spend some time together, just us two, alone,’ Del bargained.

‘What?’ Jesse responded, and it was almost a squeak as his fear rose a little more.

‘I don’t necessarily mean for that you dirty bastard, not that that wouldn’t be nice, but I just want to know that if I want your company for a chat or a walk, that things won’t be all weird,’ Del tried to explain. ‘The chat we had yesterday whilst smoking, that was nice, right?’

‘I guess,’ Jesse agreed. ‘But then you didn’t have to be like you were earlier when you caught me and Mr White hugging, be all weird like that. You’ve created this weirdness, Del not the other way around.’

‘Ok, maybe so, but I also just want to know that maybe I still have a chance? I thought we had fun the other night, you seemed to really respond to me, just like the old days,’ Del smiled warmly. ‘Or have things changed, have you already made your decision because I’m getting those signals, it’s only fair you tell me, Jesse.’

‘I did enjoy the other night, but it’s not enough right now, I have a lot to process still,’ Jesse simply said and began to walk again, he couldn’t let Del know his mind was pretty much already made up.

‘Hey,’ Del reached out to step Jesse, turning him round to face him and not letting go of his arm.

‘Let go of me,’ Jesse tried to release his arm.

‘Please, hear me out,’ Del requested and reluctantly Jesse stopped struggling. ‘I just want us to be good friends, ok?’

‘Then stop being weird,’ Jesse snapped and felt Del’s other hand suddenly grip him round the neck, applying a little pressure.

‘Don’t say that, Jesse, don’t ever say that about me,’ Del sneered.

‘What the fuck? So, this is normal is it?’ Jesse managed, feeling his grip tighten.

‘Tell me you want me,’ Del whispered.

Jesse began to panic, flashes of Grant appeared to him and for a moment he wavered between what was real and what was memories. ‘Don’t do this,’ Jesse begged, feeling his control wavering.

‘Because you like it, right?’ Del grinned. ‘I know what you like, you like the danger, the forbidden fun.’

‘No, it’s not that,’ Jesse stammered, the grip around his neck was starting to hurt, his breathing was short. ‘Because you can’t be like Grant, you can’t be, you’re not Grant,’ he let out a sob as he lost his control, and suddenly felt the pressure was released. Jesse stumbled down to his knees gasping for air, as he regained his own control. He felt a strong grip on his upper arms, dragging him back up to his feet, and then hands wiping the tears from his eyes.

‘We, we er, have to get back, food, right?’ Del stammered, looking shaken.

Jesse just nodded his head and allowed Del to guide him back towards the house, and no further words were said. They entered the cabin and Jesse immediately shrugged off the coat, hanging it up and then excused himself to clean his hands.

Walt just stared at Del, who seemed uneasy. ‘Everything ok?’ Walt checked.

‘Yeah, look, sorry about earlier,’ Del offered. ‘I just wasn’t thinking and this whole place is freaking me out, I’m not an outdoors person.’

‘Jesse mentioned you might find it difficult being in the wilds,’ Walt mentioned, not taking his eyes off Del, observing his shaken appearance. ‘Are you cold, I have some spare winter sweaters if you need one?’

‘No, it’s good I have some, but good idea, I’ll just go and get one,’ Del offered and disappeared quickly towards his room. Jesse was just leaving the bathroom as he walked by, and he saw the younger man jerked back with a natural fear on seeing him. ‘Jesse,’ he acknowledged.

‘Don’t say a word,’ Jesse simply said. 

‘I just wanted to say,’ Del began but was cut off.

‘Don’t fucking say sorry, I won’t believe it,’ Jesse snapped.

‘Actually no, I wasn’t going to say sorry. I was going to say don’t you fucking ever mention my son’s name like that again, not like that, ever,’ Del stated firmly, getting into Jesse’s face. ‘And don’t expect me to just sit back and watch you fuck around with a man old enough to fuck your fucking dad either.’

‘Fuck you,’ Jesse sneered with aggression, but he was unable to push Del away from him. Instead Del pushed closer that their bodies now touched and Jesse was trapped.

‘You are so turning me on right now, Pinkman, you have no idea,’ Del smiled broadly with intent, and licked Jesse’s cheek to the younger man’s sudden disgust. Jesse quickly managed to get the bathroom door to open again, and he stumbled back inside and away from Del’s presence. ‘We are going to have so much fun, Jesse, blindsiding your old man.’

‘No, not going to happen,’ Jesse returned fiercely, ready to fight if he needed to.

‘You are going to love it, don’t forget, I know you, Jesse,’ Del teased. ‘I know what you like, and there is no where you can run to little boy,’ Del grinned before disappearing into his own room.

Jesse took some needed breathes, then relaxed a little before walking briskly towards the kitchen. His hand felt for the phone that was still in his hoodie pocket, just one phone call and Mike would help him, Jesse considered. As he entered the kitchen area, he saw Walt had set the table, and he absently headed to the pot and saw it was looking and smelling great. Jesse took some more needed breaths and started to dish up the stew on the three plates that were set aside.

‘You ok?’ Walt asked, moving up beside him.

‘No, but it’s ok,’ Jesse simply said.

‘What happened?’ Walt asked concerned.

‘Let’s just do dinner and move on,’ Jesse stressed, and Walt didn’t push any further as Del re-entered the kitchen area pulling on a sweater.

‘Smells amazing, I really need this,’ Del exclaimed as he sat down.

‘You have Jesse to thank for it, he just seemed to conjure up a meal out of nowhere,’ Walt stated.

‘Hardly out of nowhere, all the stuff was in the fridge and cupboards,’ Jesse sighed, as he brought two of the plates forward, letting Walt bring the last one so they could all sit down.

‘Well, it looks great,’ Del complimented as he savoured it in front of him.

‘Hopefully tastes great too,’ Jesse offered, as he settled down opposite Del, their eyes meeting for only a second before Jesse looked away, seating himself next to Walt. ‘Anyone want any water, or drinks?’ He asked, trying to remain calm.

‘I’ll have a beer,’ Del answered and Jesse looked to Mr White.

‘Yeah, a beer would be good,’ Walt agreed.

Jesse got up quickly and retrieved two beers from the fridge, then poured himself some water from the tap and returned with the two cans and his glass.

‘Let’s tuck in,’ Jesse encouraged more brightly, glancing at Del who seemed amused at the change in both their moods, and they proceeded to have a normal entertaining meal.


	7. It was bound to happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tense day, things take a very different turn as drink is consumed and Jesse finds an escape, leading to an unexpected shared experience... and a dreaded morning after.

It was getting late and Jesse had been quietly focusing on appearing normal as Del and Walt knocked back a bottle of whiskey between them. He wasn’t sure quite why they were being so normal, their conversation delved into their past experiences in work and education, nether subjects that Jesse could contribute to, so he’d quietly been sipping water and growing steadily more bored and tired as the evening wore on.

Del’s earlier behaviour had terrified him more than he wanted to admit. He had never seen Del act like that towards him, but now things were calm in the cabin. Walt and Del were seemingly getting on, so he didn’t want to put a spanner in the works. Jesse also couldn’t continue to sit there and risk dying of boredom, so he got to his feet and told them he was calling it a night. Ignoring the mocking tones of being a lightweight and no fun, Jesse had his own idea of what he really needed to do. Yeah, those two were drunk, happily so, and Jesse was more than happy to leave them to it.

On reaching his room he closed the door and hesitated, his hand hovering over the lock. Unsure if he should or needed to. He knew deep down he did not want to be disturbed especially with those two in their current state and who knows what they’d be like in an hour or so. Jesse left it unlocked for the moment and moved to his original black bag, the one he had had with him since the safehouse, with his money and prescription pills safely inside. He opened it up and paused on seeing the brown envelope containing the truth about his parents, quickly dismissing it as he delved deep and found the hidden compartment, hidden by simple Velcro he removed the covering and longingly stared at the familiar looking plastic bag.

His hands were shaking as he removed it, the contents easily moulded around his hand as he held the blue crystal in his hands. He calmly looked at it, knowing it was what he needed. It had been at least a month maybe more since his last hit, he’d gone through withdrawal whilst in Mexico but the need hadn’t been quelled, and in the last few hours it was beaten down his door. Jesse knew he wasn’t going to survive this experience clean, and no matter what Mr White may have begged, he wasn’t strong enough to fight it any longer. Del had played his hand, things were not going to be fun going forward, so Jesse had to make his own move to try and survive it the only way he knew how.

* * *

A hearty laugh erupted from Del as he refilled the two glasses with the remaining whisky. ‘Wow, we’ve done well tonight,’ Del smiled shaking the now empty bottle. ‘I needed this, my friend, thanks,’ Del offered as he patted Walt on the thigh.

‘I think we’ve all needed it,’ Walt returned but glanced at the empty seat. ‘It’s a shame Jesse is taking his sobriety so seriously he really needs to find a way to relax.’

‘Do you think he’s ok?’ Del wondered, glancing back to the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

‘He has a lot going on,’ Walt explained with a frown. ‘We need to give him time and patience,’ he added and then both took swigs from their glasses.

‘I may have not helped matters today, I don’t know what was wrong with me,’ Del said with sadness. ‘Jesse used to be such a fun kid, you could banter with him and he’d give as good as he got but now, he’s just, he’s just so serious, sad and shit scared about everything.’

‘He’s has a tough year, Del, some real bad experiences, surely you must appreciate that,’ Walt pointed out. ‘I mean, just the last couple of months for example and he was already on the brink before that with his girlfriend dying and some other things that we got messed up in.’

‘I do forget, when I look at him I still just see the lost boy I used to know, I forget he’s grown up and has lived a life away from me,’ Del half grinned. ‘Well one bonus, more whisky for us,’ Del offered his glass and Walt happily clinked the glass.

They savoured their drinks for a moment in silence and that’s when they heard the distinct sound of a door being locked.

‘That’s Jesse’s room,’ Walt pointed out.

‘Why is he locking the door?’ Del queried. ‘Should we be concerned?’

‘Maybe just wants some privacy,’ Walt offered.

‘He doesn’t trust us?’ Del questioned.

‘I’m sure it’s more he just doesn’t want to be disturbed,’ Walt dismissed. ‘Relax,’ he added.

‘Addicts locking doors is never a good sign,’ Del pointed out and Walt glanced at the concern on Del’s face and sat forward.

‘He has nothing on him,’ Walt returned.

‘Are you sure, did you check his bags?’ Del sat forward as well.

‘His bags were packed by Mike’s men, remember?’ Walt dismissed.

‘What about the one bag he had with him the whole time? He definitely had a bag at my place, I put the documents inside it for him,’ Del mentioned.

Walt remembered now, it had money and his pills in. ‘I don’t remember seeing anything but prescription drugs in there, I would have noticed,’ Walt tried to explain. ‘Look he’s been clean for weeks now, he hasn’t given any indication that-‘ Walt paused. ‘Shit, today he mentioned something about always needing it, and being an addict, like it was on his mind.’

‘It never leaves you, Walt,’ Del stated and got to his feet, wavering a bit before he found his balance.

‘I don’t think he has anything on him,’ Walt repeated, as he too got to his feet.

‘Let’s just check he’s ok,’ Del suggested and they both staggered a little to Jesse’s room. Del lightly knocked on the door. ‘Jesse?’ he called out, then tried the door finding that was definitely locked.

‘Can we force it?’ Walt asked when there was no answer.

Del shook his head, pointing down to the ground where the light from the room was blocked in one place. ‘I think he’s sat against the door.’

‘Jesse, come on, talk to us, let us know you’re ok,’ Walt now called out when there had been no answer.

‘Man, just go away, leave me alone,’ Jesse slurred in response, and it clearly only came from the other side of the door.

‘Jesse are you using in there?’ Walt demanded, his speech had certainly been either drowsy or slurred, and he certainly hadn’t been drinking to cause that.

‘I’ll go check the window from the outside, see if I can see anything looking into the room,’ Del suggested and scurried off.

‘Jesse, please, just open the door, we just want to make sure you’re ok?’ Walt pleaded once Del had gone outside but there was no response, only the distinct noise of sniffing, and Walt immediately knew he was inhaling and panic gripped Walt’s hazy mind. ‘Jesse!’ he cried out, banging his hand flat against the door.

‘No!’ he then heard Jesse yell, and the light under the door was complete again suggesting Jesse was no longer sat behind the door. Walt didn’t waste any time and barged with all his energy against the door. After the third attempt if flew open and he saw Jesse pressing the shutters against the window to prevent Del looking in, his eyes then were wide eyed at Walt’s entrance.

‘Get away from me!’ Jesse yelled manically, he was clearly high and not thinking straight, as he tried to barge past Walt who easily grabbed him to contain him. Jesse struggled for a little while until Del came running into the room and assisted Walt in keeping Jesse restrained.

‘Calm down, Jesse,’ Walt stressed. ‘It’s ok, just calm down. We don’t want to hurt you, ok?’

Jesse took some deep breaths, his eyelids seemed heavy as his head rolled and Walt checked his eyes. ‘Jesse how much have you had?’

Jesse just groaned, barely focused now.

‘Shit he’s inhaling,’ Del showed Walt the mirror Jesse had used to cut the ice. ‘There’s a couple lines still here, but looks like he’s taken a fair few already,’ Del pointed to the dresser, an open bag of the crystal lay beside it. ‘How full do you think that bag was?’

‘If he was truly clean it would have been a full bag, I think there’s a fair bit missing from it?’ Walt suggested, as Jesse remained heavy in his arms, certainly under the influence.

‘I can’t go near it,’ Del backed off, his arms raised. ‘I can’t, I’m nine years clean, I can’t risk it seeing or smelling it, man,’ Del offered with genuine fear in his voice.

‘Help me take him to the bed,’ Walt suggested and Del took an arm and between them they deposited Jesse into the centre of the bed, on his back. ‘Keep an eye on him, I’ll get rid of it,’ Walt stated and quickly worked on cleaning up the lines and securing the bag, he left the room to hide the stash until he knew what to do with it.

Del saw Jesse starting to move, looking like he was about to get up, so he gently encouraged him to stay down. ‘Hey, Jesse, behave ok? You’re out of it and looking fucking sexy with it,’ Del teased and Jesse began to laugh, his sleepily looked at Del and without word just lifted his arms above his head. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jesse, however tempting, your old lover is just next door.’

Jesse groaned in frustration and started to pull at the hem of his t-shirt, working it up his body as Del just stood back amused. Walt returned and stopped to take in the sight.

‘I swear, I did nothing, he’s just horny,’ Del defended. ‘The drugs can do that sometimes.’

‘Mr White,’ Jesse called out with a shit-eating grin on his face, as he pulled his t-shirt up over his face before getting stuck with the neck.

‘I mean, this is hell right, we’re in hell?’ Del remarked with a smirk and Walt couldn’t help the shake of the head with his own smirk, now seeing it was all Jesse’s doing. ‘He’s erm, keen shall we say,’ Del pointed out the half-mast tenting going on in Jesse’s pants.

‘I never knew Jesse got like this when high, I mean I heard about his house parties, but,’ Walt frowned, he was desperately trying to remained focused but his alcohol intake was making it difficult to concentrate.

‘You really are new in your relationship, he becomes insatiable when high, trust me, it’s hard work,’ Del said from experience. Walt just glared at Del, wishing he hadn’t made the comment having not wanted to know Del had that experience.

‘What should we do, just let him sober up but keep an eye on him?’ Walt asked.

‘The first thing we should do is get him out of that t-shirt before he suffocates himself,’ Del remarked as he pulled the shirt completely off Jesse’s face, and threw it to the side. ‘Maybe Jesse needs the release? We said it ourselves he was too high strung, so why don’t we just give him what he wants and we can all relax?’

‘You mean,’ Walt glanced at the tenting in Jesse’s pants.

‘Please,’ Jesse groaned, as he wriggled on the bed, and Walt was still finding it hard to look away, not sure if his drunken state was trying to take over.

‘The kid is begging,’ Del gestured, then smiled and his intoxication was clearly taking over, Walt considered.

‘That’s not Jesse speaking,’ Walt pointed out, desperate to be the adult in the room.

‘Mr White, please,’ Jesse begged, as he writhed a bit more on the bed, looking in discomfort.

The foggy part of Walt’s alcoholic seized brain kicked in as he looked at the pleading eyes of Jesse. Somewhere deep down Walt knew Jesse would be horrified by this very notion, but in that moment Jesse was begging, half naked on the bed, literally straining against his pants and he was staring intently at Walt.

‘You don’t have to stay in the room if you’d rather not be involved?’ Del simply said, seemingly having no problem with the current situation. It was clear Del was going to do this with or without Walt’s blessing. Walt finally made a decision he felt would be more in Jesse’s interest, he couldn’t leave Jesse at the mercy of Del alone.

‘Ok, look, we have to be the grown-ups here,’ Walt decided, his words a little slurred but clear enough for Del to understand. ‘We’ve both been drinking, Jesse is high as a kite, we can’t do what you are suggesting,’ Walt stated firmly. ‘Help me take him back out to the living room, the bed is clearly confusing him, we sit with him and let him sleep it off, he won’t die of a semi hard on.’

‘He won’t die if we just pump one out for him, look at him,’ Del objected.

‘Trust me, when he wakes up and remembers, it will not be worth it,’ Walt explained and saw Del sigh a little, coming around to Walt’s way of thinking. ‘Del, you want me to trust you, to believe you have Jesse’s best interests at heart, this would be a good start.’

‘Ok, but it’s not going to be easy, Jesse is quite the handful when he wants it like this,’ Del returned and once again, Walt felt his jealousy peaking, he didn’t want to be reminded of their past.

Both Walt and Del lifted Jesse up, and walked him through to the living room.

‘Hey, where we going?’ Jesse asked tiredly.

‘Just to sit in the living room,’ Walt answered, and with Del’s help he placed Jesse carefully down on the sofa, then they both sat either side of him. Jesse stayed in place, and all three men just sat in the respective positives not moving for a moment until Jesse started to fidget, then leaned into Walter white’s arm to get more comfortable. ‘Just try and sleep now Jesse,’ Walt encouraged, feeling his own tiredness now causing him to drift a little.

‘Not tired,’ Jesse mumbled into his arm.

‘You look it,’ Walt observed but Jesse kept fidgeting, now pushing back against the sofa and then slouching. Before long his back was practically on the seat of the sofa, his legs spread wide in front of him and his hand absently brushing over his jean covered groin.

‘You know now trying to stop him will be impossible,’ Del noted tiredly, but clearly enjoying the show. ‘So, what now, we just sit here all night turning a blind eye?’

‘Stop talking like I’m not here, jeeze, I’m right here, man,’ Jesse complained.

‘You will thank us in the morning Jesse,’ Walt mentioned, silently willing Jesse to quieten down and try to sleep but almost resigned to losing this battle, as Jesse got a little more animated with his movements.

‘This has been the most boring night ever,’ Jesse continued his complaints, and to Walt’s surprise he had stopped moving for the moment.

‘Is that why you did it? You never told us you brought drugs with you, you do know Del is a recovering addict Jesse, right?’ Walt stated, hoping his sternness would kick Jesse’s senses back into operation.

‘You really thought I didn’t have anything on me?’ Jesse sounded surprised, and also a little disappointed in Walt. ‘I’m always prepared, man,’ Jesse returned more boldly, then smiled. ‘It’s some good shit, Mr White, we fucking make the bomb,’ Jesse sat up, and rested his hands either side of his head. ‘I need more,’ he then remarked but felt both men either side of him pull him back into the seat before he could get up and get some. ‘Let me go!’ Jesse struggled.

‘You need to sleep it off,’ Walt stressed.

‘Hey Jesse, remember the first time you tried meth?’ Del then ventured.

‘Hell yeah, man,’ Jesse relaxed suddenly, even with both men still holding him. Del shifted slightly so he could look at Jesse who just stared back at him with glazed eyes. ‘You went crazy,’ Jesse remembered.

‘Meth doesn’t work too good for me,’ Del responded, seemingly relishing Jesse’s attention. ‘I’m jealous of the effects it has on you.’

‘What happened?’ Walt asked, realising Del’s tactic of getting Jesse talking might just keep his mind off what he wanted but at the same time wary of Del’s true motives.

‘Del fucked my mouth until I could hardly breath, I passed out,’ Jesse calmly responded, then grinned. ‘Good times,’ he giggled and Walt once again regretted having to hear what he heard.

‘Hardly sounds a good time, Jesse, why would you say that?’ Walt remarked.

‘I woke up again, s’all cool, Mr White,’ Jesse arrogantly replied.

‘As I said, meth and me, we are not good bedfellows,’ Del offered towards Walt.

‘You two are good bedfellows,’ Jesse perked up, and then laughed at his own joke.

‘Please, Jesse, just try and sleep,’ Walt was near to the end of his patience, he was tired from the whiskey, and the extra energy Jesse was taking up now was becoming too much. Before either man could stop him, Jesse suddenly sprung forward and was straddling Walt. ‘Jesse, no, please, no,’ Walt pleaded, as he felt Jesse hands on his clothes, he was acting crazy. ‘You do not want to do this.’

‘Looks like he does,’ Del said with amusement, not helping in any respect.

‘Can you help me out here?’ Walt snapped, as Jesse started to nuzzle his neck.

‘Just go with it, Walt, chill the fuck out, he chose you. Be thankful I’m not killing you so win, win for you,’ Del remarked without care, and Walt noticed Del undoing his own belt buckle.

‘Seriously?’ Walt asked.

‘What? What he’s doing to you looks hot,’ Del defended.

Walt then turned his attention back to Jesse, and he had to admit he was ready to accept defeat as Jesse worked his hands under his clothes and began to brush with urgency against his skin. Jesse was jutting against him, and his own body was responding in kind, and whilst he would have preferred privacy, Walt did take some pleasure from the fact Jesse had jumped him and not Del. 

Jesse’s mouth was soon on his, and Walt let himself relax into the kiss, and started to respond which only encouraged Jesse to become even more frantic. 

‘Hey, ok, you win, Jesse. Just please, slow down,’ Walt whispered, and could hear Jesse’s heavy breathing in response. Jesse worked Walt’s t-shirt up over his head, then attacked his nipple before climbing lower and making short work of Walt’s pants, it took Walt a moment to realise he was now butt naked on the sofa with Jesse smothering him with kisses.

‘Oh my god, Jesse,’ Walt gasped, as he began to manipulate his cock with an energy Walt hadn’t seen in Jesse before, and it was reminding him that Jesse was high. He couldn’t help but feel that this could still be very bad for everyone, but it was too late to stop it. Walt glanced to the side and now watched enthralled as Del masturbated to what he was watching, and that thrill sent his emotions rolling as Jesse engulfed his dick with his mouth, and all Walt could do was let his head drop back and enjoy the blissful pleasure flowing through him now.

His world shuddered abruptly when he finally came, and his body shook as Jesse took care to clean up, Walt felt exhausted as he lay back sensing Jesse climbing up his body and every touch felt electric. Walt put his arms around Jesse, feeling the young man’s slick body, covered in a light sheen from his efforts. They were content being in each other’s arms, as Jesse lightly kissed Walt’s neck as if hungry for more but Walt needed some time.

Jesse began to moan, then groan and Walt realised Jesse was being moved into a new position, being turned onto his back so he was lying on the sofa and resting against Walt. When Walt finally managed to focus, he saw Del’s hand was now pumping Jesse’s cock at the other end of the sofa. The sounds from Jesse were captivating Walt into almost a trance, as he adjusted his own position to better support Jesse, allowing him to rest his head on his upper chest area and bringing his arms to wrap around Jesse’s chest.

‘Are you ok?’ Walt whispered into Jesse’s ear.

‘Mmm, amazing,’ Jesse moaned in pleasure as Del continued a masterful hand job, and Jesse tensed as he felt a finger prod against his hole.

‘Del,’ Walt warned. ‘I thought this was just about getting Jesse off,’ he noted tiredly.

‘I want it, Mr White,’ Jesse responded.

‘Can’t argue with that, can’t deny him, can we?’ Del half smiled, a smile that was screaming that he was now winning.

Walt looked into Jesse’s eyes as he looked back at Walt, as if to reassure him things were ok and he relaxed a little. He wasn’t entirely convinced Jesse was in his right mind at that moment, in fact to look at Jesse right now, lapping up everything Del was doing to him Walt remember Mike’s words about being under a spell.

Del increased his manipulations on Jesse’s cock, and was up to three fingers inside. Jesse was bucking in pure pleasure, writhing against Walt who just held him tight, it was a situation Walt thought was long past him as he remembered encounters from his student days. He couldn’t help but admire Jesse’s body, his stamina, he felt he was still discovering so much about Jesse and even just a few months ago he never imagined he’d be party to something like with his business partner.

Holding Jesse skin to skin, with him making noises Walt couldn’t help but adore, Walt knew this would stay in his memories for a long time. He only wished he was in Del’s position, but paid attention because whatever Del was doing, Jesse was in seventh heaven.

Walt tensed a little as he saw Del line himself up, and Jesse was practically begging the man to get on with it now, and Walt held him a little closer sensing the moment of entry when Jesse winced. Walt could only comfort Jesse, but soon enough Del had pushed through and Jesse was now crying in pleasure. Without warning Jesse’s hand brought Walt’s head down towards him, managing to manoeuvre himself enough so his lips could meet Walt’s own and everything was forgotten as Walt lost himself to Jesse’s kiss. Moaning into Walt’s mouth, Jesse finally broke the kiss when Del speeded up and Walt held Jesse close partially mesmerised now. Del was not going easy as he frantically thrust into Jesse, who just seemed to relax into the experience with an intense bit shit eating expression on his face.

Del suddenly tensed and in seconds it was all over, Jesse melting into Walt’s hold, exhausted. Del calmly got to his feet and walked to the kitchen area, sans clothes, with no care in the world as he got a couple of wash cloths to clean up with. As Del took care of Jesse, Walt tidied himself up and got to his feet, they decided to leave Jesse sleeping on the sofa, he was comfortable enough after Del brought a couple of blankets through and his pillow.

‘Look, don’t say it, ok?’ Del then spoke, the first words either of them had. ‘Jesse wanted that; he would never have settled if we hadn’t done that.’

‘It still feels like we took advantage,’ Walt remarked.

‘We didn’t, Jesse may have been high, but he knew what he wanted,’ Del returned.

‘Is this how it was before, with you and him?’ Walt enquired. ‘Jesse would ask?’

‘Ask? Hell no,’ Del frowned. ‘He begged normally,’ he smirked.

‘You don’t think at any point you might have conditioned that response in him?’ Walt questioned.

‘Don’t ruin the moment, Walt, admit you enjoyed it as much as we did,’ Del offered knowingly but Walt still looked a little troubled. ‘Ok, before, just know that I always looked after him, I took care of him, I never hurt him,’ Del stressed with conviction. ‘He trusted me, he felt safe with me, why is that a bad thing for a young man who wants to explore his own sexuality?’ Del shrugged. ‘Tell me, seeing as we’re being judgemental. In the time you knew him before you started having your own feelings for the kid, did you think of him as a sexual predator? Did you often think he was somehow damaged or had a depraved approach to sex? Were his relationships not of the norm?’

Walt considered the question with some care. He could only really reference Jane, not really knowing anything about Jesse’s partners. He understood that Jesse hung around a known hooker hotel, but he’d never really asked questions about that, or about his hooker friend that he trusted, was her name Wendy? Again he knew no intimate details. Jane seemed ok but turned into bad news in the end when she blackmailed him, and clearly she had wrapped Jesse around her little finger but that was hardly a sex thing that concerned him about her. 

The never ending house parties were a recent thing, after Gale’s murder, Jesse had spiralled, and he was aware things were a little over easy from some brief comments Mike had made. Maybe that trauma had reignited his early attitudes into this murky past he shared with Del, but he clearly remembered being terrified that Jesse wouldn’t want anything to do with him, accuse him of being a homo, reject him outright. Jesse hadn’t reacted like that at all, quite the opposite once they got over the shock of what they felt for each other, he hadn’t given him any cause for concern ever.

Andrea was someone who seemed good for Jesse, and with the little kid, Jesse had seemed quite taken by her but again, that relationship was not something he ever discussed at length with Jesse. Before his own awakening regarding Jesse, they kept very private lives, it was strictly business, so Walt was at a disadvantage in really knowing for sure.

‘It’s not something I’ve ever paid close attention to, but he never caused me any concern with how he acted it’s true,’ Walt admitted. ‘But more recently he did show very little regard for any partners he took in the weeks leading up to Grant’s attacks. We put that down to the trauma he was coping with, he wasn’t himself, but maybe it was more an instinct we weren’t aware of, from his past perhaps?’

Del seemed a little taken aback by the slight accusation, and looked away for a moment.

‘What did happen, this big trauma? No one is telling me,’ Del questioned. ‘What sent Jesse over the edge that these parties became a thing, that my son even got close to Jesse in that state?’

‘It’s not something I’m willing to share,’ Walt responded firmly.

‘You two have some dark secrets,’ Del observed. ‘Trust me, you don’t get as comfortable with each other as I saw you two tonight if you haven’t been through some shit together. I can see it clearly, Jesse really does respect you, old man. I think he needs you, like a drug.’

Walt did not appreciate Del’s choice of words and glared at him for a moment.

‘We look out for each other,’ Walt simply replied. ‘And we are going to have our work cut out tomorrow morning when he wakes up.’

‘Relax, Jesse will be fine, he had an amazing night with his two favourite men,’ Del was suddenly all smiles again. ‘He will know that he was a very lucky boy,’ Del enthused, but Walt could only frown.

‘We will see,’ Walt sighed, and the two men headed to their respective rooms to finally sleep.

* * *

It was still dark when Jesse groaned and woke up, his head was killing him, and he felt the sudden impact of his high wearing off. He sat up and held his head for a moment, flashes of the night before bombarding him as he remembered what had happened. With a long sigh Jesse stood up not caring to cover up in his sleepy state, he ached everywhere, every step was an effort as he headed to the bathroom. Switching the shower on he wasted no time jumping in.

The water helped immensely to ease his pains, and he let it hit his face to wake him up. Trying not to think too much, he focused on getting clean and once the water started running cold, he got out. Towelling himself down and wrapping the towel around his waist as he returned to his room and the bed he hadn’t slept in.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he contemplated how he was feeling, before throwing on a t-shirt and some jeans. He slipped on some socks and then his sneakers before finding his hoodie, picking up his smokes and heading outside. He actually felt fine, Jesse realised. He wanted to be disgusted and appalled but despite the aches and pains, he felt nothing that concerned him. It had happened and he’d enjoyed it in the moment, but now it was done, and he didn’t want to dwell. Maybe it was because he knew it was always going to happen, one way or another. The three of them in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, how could it not have happened? Jesse smirked as he enjoyed his cigarette, the morning felt nice and fresh with the birds singing.

Once he had savoured the cigarette, Jesse searched his pockets and found Mike’s phone. Checking it, he frowned. Standing up and moving away from the cabin, and more into the clearing, his frown remained. Jesse lit another cigarette as he walked a bit further, until he reached the creek. Puffing on his cigarette as he walked, he kept checking the phone every five meters. On reaching the creek he checked again and sighed, looked upwards before returning to the cabin, stubbing out the cigarette before he walked back inside.

Silently he walked past his own room and headed to the door of Mr White’s room, opening it slowly so as not to make any noise, he quietly entered. Shrugging off his hoodie, and slipping out of his trainers and jeans, he crawled in beside Walt and was pleased when Walt’s hands instinctively wrapped around him, he needed to feel safe as he settled back into sleep.

* * *

Walt slowly woke up and was happy to find himself with his arms around Jesse, having no memory of Jesse coming to bed with him but he wasn’t complaining. He savoured the closeness and enjoyed the warmth of Jesse so close to him despite the strong smell of cigarettes.

‘Morning,’ Jesse mumbled.

‘Hey, did you sleep well?’ Walt asked into Jesse’s shoulder, his lips lightly touching as he did so.

‘Yeah, think I needed it,’ Jesse carefully turned around to face Walt, their heads practically touching. ‘You don’t hate me, right?’

‘Well, you smell like a chimney, but I don’t think that’s enough to hate you?’ Walt teased.

‘Sorry, I needed to take the edge off first thing,’ Jesse returned with a smile. ‘I mean, last night, asking Del to fuck me,’ Jesse looked down, and Walt kissed his forehead.

‘You were high, not of your right mind. Plus I get it, Jesse, I sure as hell didn’t have the energy to do what he did to you, not after what you did for me,’ Walt made light of it, suppressing his inner guilt and was pleased to hear Jesse laugh in response.

‘You know we’re in trouble now, don’t you?’ Jesse then whispered cautiously.

‘Just try and stay off the drugs, Jesse, nothing has changed. It’ll be fine, this situation is not permanent,’ Walt stated calmly.

‘You don’t understand, he has us now, he’s in control,’ Jesse’s breathing was more frantic as he held onto Walt.

‘Mike will return soon, Jesse, there’s no need to panic,’ Walt responded, a little concerned by Jesse’s words.

‘I don’t think he will, Mr White, Del has something going on, I know it,’ Jesse looked into Walt’s eyes. ‘Last night, before dinner he threatened me twice.’

‘What?’ Walt questioned, waking up more.

‘Once by the creek, he grabbed hold of my neck, and then here in the cabin, he told me I can’t run anywhere, and he knows I can’t fight him,’ Jesse took a deep breath to remain calm.

‘Are you sure it wasn’t just banter? He mentioned that you use to give as good as you got when he used to challenge you,’ Walt mentioned.

‘He told me that night I stayed over that he always gets what he wants,’ Jesse said with seriousness in his expression. ‘And he wants me, and I think he also wants you now.’

‘Me?’ Walt smirked, Jesse must still be high he considered, the paranoia stage.

‘Not for that, for the blue sky,’ Jesse explained with a seriousness that got Walt’s attention. ‘Ever since he found out my connection to you, he’s been sniffing around, you can’t deny that. He has something planned and it involves the both of us.’

‘Jesse, what happened between the three of us last night meant nothing, and if you were so concerned after being threatened then why did the events of last night even happen?’ Walt questioned. ‘Jesse, I think you’re over-reacting, maybe projecting because you might feel guilty about what happened between all of us?’

‘Why do you think I took the fucking crystal, Mr White?’ Jesse explained harshly, moving onto his back and out of Walt’s hold, bringing his hand up to his head as the headache continued. ‘I locked my door for a reason.’

‘We were concerned because you locked the door,’ Walt remembered. ‘Del seemed to guess you were taking something.’

‘And Del remembers what I was like when high, he wasn’t concerned he was horny,’ Jesse frowned, noticeably calming down a little before he sighed. ‘I don’t regret what happened, Mr White, I really don’t and I guess you don’t really know that ‘me’ so much,’ Jesse half smiled, rolling onto his side again. ‘I’m a sick fuck, right?’

‘I wouldn’t say that; I thought you were quite good,’ Walt joked, but remembered the seriousness. ‘Let’s take a step back, why do you think something is up with Del, other than the obvious?’

‘Mike gave me a phone, told me to call him if I ever felt I needed an out,’ Jesse countered. ‘I wanted to talk to Mike this morning, about Del threatening me but the signal is blocked, not dead, blocked. Del is the only person I know who could get hold of something to do that. I tested it everywhere, even went to the creek and nothing. Did anyone check his bags before we got here?’ Jesse questioned.

‘I don’t think so,’ Walt admitted.

‘He was the one that told you my life was in danger, right? He was the one who panicked and levelled up the threat against us, made us run, yeah?’ Jesse stressed.

‘Jesse I saw the images that Franko had sent Del, it looked legit, enough that Mike is actively pursuing the threat against you and Del,’ Walt tried to remain calm.

‘It may be legit, but Del was the one that made us react,’ Jesse explained. ‘Del begged us to help him, his tone changed real quick when he realised he was talking to you. He made you become involved, and in turn, discovered who you were and got us right where he wanted us.’

‘Jesse, we are here because Mike arranged for this, this is Mike’s plan, not Del’s, I think you should try and get some more sleep,’ Walt suggested.

‘He’s played us, Mr White, at our own game but he’s in control,’ Jesse refused to back down. ‘Ok, do you have a phone, I can’t believe you didn’t smuggle one in as well?’

Walt leaned back and opened the side drawer next to his bed and checked his own phone. ‘I’ve been texting Skyler on this burner, she has her own burner. There is no way to trace back to either of us, just so she knows we are ok,’ he offered, and turned his phone on. He had been expecting to see the strong signal he had seen previously, but he saw the blocked one instead. ‘What the hell.’

‘Told you,’ Jesse returned strongly. ‘What do we do?’

‘We just stick together, maybe try and work out if Del is up to anything, just play it cool,’ Walt figured. ‘It might just be a bad signal day, the weather or something?’

‘The signal is blocked, man, not weak or up and down,’ Jesse protested.

‘Ok, well, I still say we just keep our eyes and ears open, let’s just remain calm,’ Walt offered.

‘And then what?’ Jesse asked.

‘I’m not sure, if we truly feel we’re in danger we can try to run, didn’t you say there were people nearby, that lady with the dog that likes you?’ Walt figured.

‘That’s it, we go for a walk, Mr White! Lets do that now, let’s just go for a walk and just don’t come back,’ Jesse enthused. ‘The signal block can’t be that far reaching, as soon as we have a signal we call Mike for a bail out.’

‘Is Del awake yet?’ Walt asked. ‘If we are running, we will need to take some things with us, and if he’s awake I think he’ll notice that.’

‘I’ll go and check,’ Jesse stated, and climbed out of bed. Carefully he opened the door and stepped outside.

‘Well, well, you really are a sly dog, Jesse,’ Del’s voice pierced through him, as Jesse turned to see Del exiting the bathroom.

‘You got me,’ Jesse simply said, and closed Mr White’s door before moving towards his own room. Before he could reach his room, Jesse felt Del take a strong hold of his arm and forcibly led Jesse into his own bedroom.

‘Jesse, please just tell me what’s going on here?’ Del asked, forcing Jesse to face him.

A little caught out Jesse realised that had been what he had wanted to ask Del, and his confusion was genuine. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Why him, why are you with him? I’m right here and you choose him, I just need to know,’ Del stressed, his face was too close to Jesse’s own. ‘Didn’t I make you happy last night? Didn’t we use to have fun when we were together, even the other night? The old guy barely lasted a blow-job, and you still chose to be with him?’

‘I dunno,’ Jesse responded shirking from the intensity. ‘Things changed, Del, I changed and I’m just with him now, Ok? You left me, you went away, and I literally forgot you till just a week ago, and didn’t we already go over this?’ Jesse questioned trying to remain neutral and calm.

‘Last night, you felt it right? You liked it, just like you did the other night,’ Del stressed, backing Jesse against the now closed door.

‘Please, don’t do this,’ Jesse requested trying to avoid Del’s close proximity. ‘Don’t be like this, this situation is difficult enough,’ Jesse tried to squirm away, but Del now held both his arms against the wall in a firm grip.

‘Jesse, you need to understand the situation,’ Del stated. ‘You need to make sure you fully understand what is going on around here.’

‘Jesse?’ Walt’s voice was heard, he was moving around the cabin clearly trying to find his young partner.

Jesse and Del stared at each other for a moment, no words were said as Del brought one of his hands up to Jesse’s neck, gently cupping his throat and Jesse used his now free hand to grip it, trying to prevent Del’s hold. ‘Wait here whilst I’ll distract him, then come out and act as if this didn’t just happen, understand?’

Jesse simply nodded his head and moved away from the door, as he watched Del leave the room. Hating the situation that he was finding himself in with Del, Jesse hoped Mr White would have a new plan to fix this now they couldn’t sneak away.

‘Hey Walt, you’re looking for Jesse?’ Del questioned, all smiles as he moved towards the kitchen area. ‘I think he’s just in his room, isn’t he? I just heard some noise from within,’ he gestured.

‘It was empty when I checked,’ Walt replied.

‘Maybe the bathroom, but he’s definitely back there, probably keeping a low profile after last night,’ Del suggested, as he busied himself with some eggs to prepare breakfast.

On cue Jesse walked into the living area. ‘Hey, Mr White,’ Jesse offered with little emotion.

‘Jesse,’ Walt responded, looking for any sign of trouble, sensing Jesse was a little off with his demeanor. ‘Why didn’t you respond when I called you?’

‘He’s not a dog, Walt, give the kid a break,’ Del joked.

Jesse just shrugged and went to sit down on the sofa, leaving Walt to look between the two of them, and knowing without being told that something had happened in the short time since Jesse left his room.

‘Ok, what’s going on here?’ Walt asked.

‘I’m making breakfast,’ Del offered his confusion.

‘I mean, what has just happened? Where was Jesse just now?’ Walt asked, his patient waning.

‘I believe he was sharing your bed, wasn’t it your room he left a few moments ago?’ Del then countered, suggestively.

‘Sounds like you have a problem with that,’ Walt stated firmly.

‘Me? No, I mean I got my slice of pie last night, didn’t I, we all did,’ Del smiled darkly. ‘Shall we talk about that maybe? Our little amazing threesome, I mean how hot was that? Why would I have a problem now I know he will put out to both of us, so easily?’

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Jesse suddenly got to his feet. ‘You took advantage.’

Del laughed loudly at the outburst. ‘Oh, trust me, you were all over us, both of us, Jesse you little minx. If anyone took advantage it was you, of two old drunks, we couldn’t have stopped you even if we tried.’

Jesse took a deep breath. ‘It wasn’t like that,’ he said more calmly. ‘And whatever, it happened but it was just a thing, ok, a one off, doesn’t mean it’s open season on Jesse!’

Del stopped what he was doing with the breakfast preparation and slowly walked into the space where Jesse and Walt now stood, Jesse noticeably struggling to keep his composure as Del glared directly at him. ‘You really don’t understand the situation, do you Jesse?’ Del then spoke, his voice low and threatening as he placed a hand on Jesse’s arm causing him to flinch.

Walt cleared his throat, stepping forward to remind Del he was right there. ‘I think we understand it more than you probably realise, now get your hands off Jesse and stop playing these stupid games.’

‘Games?’ Del questioned.

‘Our phones suddenly no longer work, can you explain that?’ Walt asked.

‘We’re in the middle of nowhere,’ Del scoffed gesturing around them, but still keep a film hold on Jesse.

‘They were working fine yesterday,’ Walt challenged.

‘What? So, I somehow magically killed the signal?’ Del mocked. ‘I’m starting to think Jesse isn’t the only one taking some crystal, paranoia is a nasty side effect,’ Del grinned. ‘Besides, why do you both have phones, didn’t Mike insist we don’t have phones so we can’t be tracked? Bad form, my friends, very bad form.’

Walt glanced at Jesse who seemed on the very edges of a panic attack, before Jesse suddenly shrugged Del’s hold off him and put some distance between him and Del.

‘Paranoia? You threatened me twice last night, Del,’ Jesse stated angrily. ‘Hands around my neck, warning me, you are up to something, we know that much.’

‘I was trying to find that old spark you used to have, you must remember I liked it when you were more spikey,’ Del reasoned with a dirty smile.

‘No, it was genuine,’ Jesse stressed, and he could see the doubt now in Walt’s features, but Jesse still knew he was right to be worried.

‘I wanted to push you, Jesse, see what it would take, seems it worked,’ Del shrugged.

‘Push him?’ Walt checked.

‘I wanted to know how far I needed to go before he resorted to old habits,’ Del offered. ‘I knew I had broken you outside the bathroom. That last warning did the trick didn’t it? Got you all worked up, right?’

‘How did you know I even had crystal on me?’ Jesse asked with resignation, realising what Del was referring to without needing to ask.

‘I was an addict way before you kid, don’t you remember? I met you after my first stint in rehab, you almost sent me right back down that black hole,’ Del explained. ‘I know how hard it is to resist the high when under pressure, in a situation that you can’t control.’

‘Why did you want Jesse using again?’ Walt asked with concern.

‘Because Walt, that’s the Jesse I created, right there! I own that Jesse, and the only thing I want right now is my old fun Jesse back, by any means possible,’ Del said with a calm that felt unnatural.

‘Fuck you,’ Jesse snapped, fire returning to his eyes.

‘Be my guest, Jesse, you know you want to,’ Del sneakily laughed and then checked his phone when it buzzed. ‘Strange, signal works fine for me, those two guards your grumpy old friend put on duty? I just got word they’ve been taken out.’

‘Taken out?’ Walt checked.

‘My men have finally got here, Franko’s been co-ordinating things for me. Giving me time to get to know you both a bit better,’ Del announced. ‘Last night I feel we made great progress, really had fun, but now it gets kind of real. I want you both on your knees, hands on your heads.’

‘What? You’re kidding me,’ Jesse scoffed looking at Walt who seemed just as determined not to.

‘You really don’t want my men asking you to do it, they have no manners,’ Del simply said and glanced out of the window as two cars rolled up outside at speed.

With considered glances, both Walt and Jesse realised he had been right, Del was in control now. They also knew things might just be easier if they complied. Slowly both Jesse and Walt got down onto their knees and held their hands to the back of their heads.

The door opened and four men walked in, carrying guns. Without needing to be told they saw Jesse and Walt in position and busied themselves by handcuffing their hands behind their backs.

‘Blindfold them, gag them, put them in separate cars,’ Del ordered. ‘Jesse is with me,’ he motioned and left the cabin to get into one of the cars.


	8. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are continue to go bad for Jesse and Walt, running out of options after hearing the cabin is empty, Mike decides it's time to come clean to Hank Schrader.

It was a beautiful morning, fresh and breezy with a lot of promise Mike considered as he tidied up his kitchen. Just a few hours earlier the threat of Declan and his gang had been successfully negotiated and quashed, with need for only a little pressure on his part. A deal was agreed and the hits on Del and Jesse were now thankfully forgotten. 

He had just sent word to his men to go and bring everyone home, and hopefully life could return to some semblance of normal. Obviously, Mike already knew that was not as easy as it sounded. The Del Burley factor needed to be resolved for Jesse’s sake, but that was a problem for another day he hoped. Today he was simply looking forward to spending the day with his granddaughter, who had been sadly neglected of his time of late, but on that thought he heard his cell phone buzz. Before he even answered he already knew his day was about to be ruined, as he saw who the caller was.

‘Both Colin and Karl are dead, the cabin is empty.’

‘Of course it is,’ Mike exclaimed wearily. ‘How long?’

‘I would say they have at least a day on us. Judging by the snacks not eaten in Karl’s car, he’d just started his shift when he was taken out.’

‘Ok, Stu, I need you to sweep the place, try and find something, and let me know what’s been left behind, bags in particular,’ Mike ordered, and finished the call.

Rubbing his face, Mike was internally kicking himself for ever giving any benefit of the doubt to Del Burley. Mike moved to a cabinet in his living room and took out a document bag, before grabbing his keys. Deciding to trust his gut and believe Del was behind the disappearance, Mike mentally cancelled plans to instead activate the rough back-up plan that he had hoped he’d never have to act on, but now was the time.

* * *

They had been driving for over a day he was sure, but Jesse couldn’t exactly know how long as his eyes remained covered and he had slept for some of the time. He could only hope Mr White was in the other car and that it was travelling with them. The only thing he was sure of was that Del was sat next to him the entire journey, even if he hadn’t said a word the entire time. Jesse would have known that no one else would have touched his body throughout the journey in quite the same way, whilst it was in no way sexual, it was still a very possessive touch.

Jesse felt the car slow down, pulling into somewhere before coming to a stop. Del moved and got out of the vehicle but before doing so he pushed Jesse down, clearly not wanting anyone to spot him in his current predicament. Jesse dropped down into the footwell and tried to get comfortable in the tight space.

There was no fear, for some reason Jesse was coping quite well with the situation and he wasn’t sure why, he just wasn’t feeling panicked. His only concern in that moment was for Mr White, he wanted to know he was ok, wasn’t suffering with the situation. The car door opened again and the smell of hot food hit Jesse hard, suddenly he was feeling his own hunger.

The car engine switched back on, and Jesse figured they’d had a food stop, and this was confirmed when he heard the rustle of paper bags containing the food as Del got comfortable. Seconds later, Jesse felt hands lifting him back up into the seat as the car began to move. Moving his head away from the smell of the food, Jesse felt the familiar feeling of nausea that had been plaguing him recently. The strong smells of hot food had been too sudden a sensation, overwhelming his senses as he battled with the strange sensations he was feeling. Jesse hadn’t taken his tablets for well over twenty-four hours, so his body was now reacting in the worst possible way as his now painfully empty stomach churned. He hadn’t eaten since they left the cabin, and Jesse hadn’t felt hungry until the moment he first smelled the food but now he just felt horribly sick.

‘Try over there, it’s enough out the way, no one will see us,’ Del was then speaking to the driver and the car soon came to another stop. 

Jesse felt himself being dragged out of the car this time, into the fresh air but his nausea was running riot inside him with the sudden jostling. He was pushed forward but stay upright, on what felt like a wooded area, before being brought to a stop and his hands released. Moments later the blindfold came down and Jesse squinted as he blinked his eyes to the sudden light and visual stimulants.

‘Do your business, we still have a few hours to drive,’ a gruff voice, that wasn’t Del, spoke to him.

Jesse glanced to his left and was relieved to see Mr White staring back at him, they both shared reassuring glances but were too far away from each other to do much else, their mouths still gagged. Jesse turned back to the woodland in front of him, taking measured breaths, feeling hot with the nausea still at the forefront. He went to unzip but his hands were now shaking, and he suddenly bucked involuntarily as his stomach lurched. Before he could react, he felt whatever was in his stomach, which wasn’t much, come up abruptly. The gag in his mouth meant very little escaped and the panic was immediate as Jesse felt the now too familiar sensation of starting to choke, collapsing to his knees before falling to the ground in a dangerous situation as he started to strain to breath.

The gag was finally loosened and removed roughly, as Jesse was practically thrown into an upwards position, as he felt hard slaps on his back. Fingers roughly felt around his mouth to try and force the gag reflex, strong arms were then around his middle forcing his body to react until finally Jesse coughed violently and took a huge breath of needed air. Feeling lightheaded now, and very sleepy, Jesse slumped to the ground limply. The shock and lack air and of food since they started the road trip all catching up with him, he just had a strong desire to allow the sleep to take him. 

Sounds were muffled as he tried to close his eyes, but he kept being slapped and jostled, then shaken but Jesse’s desire to sleep was the greatest it had ever been. Things suddenly felt calm, and Jesse relaxed, sensing he was now lying on his side on rough ground with his energy depleted, and his awareness was minimal as he quietly just focused on breathing.

After what felt like only a few minutes some water was being forced into his mouth, and slowly he became more aware of his surroundings, and he was a little surprised to find he was now sat against another body. He was still outside, and still in the woodlands it seemed. His ribs really hurt, and his back was aching adding to the sensation of feeling ill, hot, clammy.

‘Jesse?’ Del’s voice broke through. ‘You back with us?’

‘Mmm,’ Jesse could only groan in response, and he realised he was sitting against Del in the woods.

‘Let’s try and get you back on your feet,’ Del encouraged softly. Jesse had very little to do with the actions of getting him back on his feet, as Del took all his weight. ‘Do you need to go to toilet?’

Jesse actually gave that some thought, he knew he was about to go before being sick, but now he honestly had no clue, and his lack of response was taken as a no. He felt useless, barely able to do anything as he felt himself being walked back to the car. He heard voices but he couldn’t make out the words in his drowsy state, until Del spoke up.

‘Ok, get him out again, let him see,’ Del simply said, and a few moments later Jesse opened his eyes to see Mr White looking panicked across from him. ‘See he’s fine,’ Del simply gestured before he pushed Jesse into the back of the car. Once inside Del retrieved a blanket and wrapped it around Jesse, keeping the handcuffs, blindfold and gag off him now as he encouraged Jesse to lie against him in the back seat.

It was a small comfort, but Jesse was too tired not to accept it as he settled down next to Del, closing his eyes, he welcomed the sleep that soon took him.

* * *

Mike observed the other car park up close to his and tidied away the report he had written after speaking to Stu on the phone giving him an update on the cabin search. There were the two bags that Walter White had taken to the cabin, and the two bags they had retrieved from Jesse’s house but nothing else. Mike figured that Jesse’s own bag, that had contained his money and prescription pills, had been taken with them.

The occupant of the other car flashed his lights, and Mike did likewise, before both men got out. The parking lot at the airport was always a preferred location to meet for Mike, and he really wanted to get this over with. He grabbed a couple of sealed envelopes and approached the man with some caution, glancing around to ensure they were alone.

‘I know you,’ the man stated. ‘Michael Ehrmantraut.’

‘Hank Schrader,’ Mike responded. ‘Now the introductions are over I have some information for you,’ Mike stated firmly.

‘What kind of information?’ Hank asked.

‘Heisenberg, I know who he is,’ Mike stated.

Hank clearly became very interested. ‘Is that so? And you’re just going to tell me, why?’

‘Because it’s just become very personal to you,’ Mike stated.

‘To me?’ Hank checked. ‘And what’s in it for you?’

‘Revenge, for the death of someone I did security work for,’ Mike offered.

‘Gus Fring, you were head of his security, right?’ Hank stated. ‘Are you telling me that Heisenberg played a part in Fring’s death?’

‘Gus Fring was a king pin, distributor of the blue sky under the guise of a chicken restaurant operation,’ Mike handed the first sealed envelope to Hank.

‘Ok, we figured he was messed up in drugs but not that it was blue sky in particular,’ Hank ripped the envelope open and saw enough information to back up Mike’s claims in just the first few images that fell into his hands. ‘The laundry company sat on top of a super lab, that is where the product was made.’

‘We were wondering what that space was for, the explosion ripped it apart making it hard to put a solid handle on it, but these pictures will go a long way in supporting that,’ Hank enthused.

‘I fear your interest in Heisenberg has led to a member of your family being put in direct danger,’ Mike then revealed, he had Hank’s complete attention now, just as he hoped.

‘My family? Who?’ Hank asked.

‘Walter White,’ Mike revealed.

‘Walt?’ Hank said incredulously. ‘What do you mean?’

‘A few weeks ago, I believe you were told that one Jesse Pinkman was Heisenberg’s second, this of course was laughable, but I know you followed it up and it became a thing for a short time,’ Mike explained. ‘Heisenberg framed Jesse for his own personal reasons, that had nothing to do with Blue Sky. Now I’m led to believe that in the coming days it may be likely that your own brother-in-law is going to be outed as being Heisenberg himself,’ Mike revealed. ‘You must not believe this information. It is purely designed specifically to discredit you at the DEA, and right now your brother-in-law and Jesse Pinkman are in grave danger.’

‘Ok, you’re losing me here,’ Hank couldn’t help the chuckle. ‘Who on Earth would try to convince me that Walt is Heisenberg? I mean that’s ridiculous, you’ve met him, right?’ Hank laughed.

‘The evidence they have forged would make it hard not to at least investigate,’ Mike persisted evenly. ‘Heisenberg wants someone else to take the fall for his crimes, and I hate to inform you, but your brother-in-law is an ideal candidate for being framed. He’s arguably one of the top chemists in this state if not beyond, and it’s not totally unbelievable that he could cook blue sky. His sudden and odd friendship with Jesse Pinkman would only add to the notion that the two of them might be behind the biggest drug operation you’ve ever seen, and that they’d be the least suspected given their backgrounds and character,’ Mike reasoned, unable to hide his amusement that Hank was struggling to believe it was actually true, but that was the point so he contained himself.

‘I mean Walt has been acting strange this past year, and his friendship with Pinkman, that’s been a bit of a strange affair,’ Hank considered. ‘The gambling addiction, the sudden wealth, I mean, the more I think of it.’

‘No,’ Mike firmly stated, getting Hank’s attention. ‘That is all coincidental, the true reason Walt has been acting a little strange is because he can’t admit to his nearest and dearest that he has truly struggled with the cancer diagnosis, and that he has actually found some solace in the most unlikely of sources, Jesse Pinkman. Since his cancer diagnosis Pinkman has been a rock to Walt, some leftover respect from high school from the boy, who himself looked after his aunt through the same sickness,’ Mike gestured. ‘Walt fell apart when he got his diagnosis and by pure fate Jesse appeared and was able to lift him up.’

‘I mean, that also makes a lot of sense, why Walt was at his house that one time I stopped by,’ Hank realised. ‘Had I not been told this, had Walt told me that the shit stain was his sick buddy, I’d have laughed in his face and ribbed him mercifully. I can’t deny it, so I understand why he kept it secret, but the sudden wealth?’

‘Oh, the gambling was true, you can also blame Jesse for that too, not all of his help was necessarily a good influence,’ Mike smirked and was glad to see Hank grin, that was very believable in his eyes.

‘Ok, that makes a lot of sense,’ Hank laughed. ‘Ok, so you’re predicting that the real Heisenberg is going to suddenly present me with a dossier that will frame Walter White and Jesse Pinkman as the great masterminds of the blue crystal meth?’

Mike handed Hank the final envelope. ‘This contains all the evidence that supports the fact that Jesse Pinkman is an unofficial carer for Walt, and most certainly not the drug kingpins Heisenberg will hope to convince you of.’

Hank took the envelope with appreciation. ‘Thanks, so ok, who is Heisenberg?’

‘I’m not really a snitch,’ Mike announced, pushing himself away from the car they were stood next too. ‘But there’s only one man who tried to originally convince you Jesse was mixed up with Heisenberg. Only one man that would have reason to want to quietly have Jesse locked away for life, so he’s no longer a problem to him. Only one man who has tried to befriend the DEA by supporting one of their schemes like some sick joke.’

Hank’s face became stern with fury. ‘You are fucking kidding me.’

‘Only one man who could fund a drug empire of this scale, had a man in Mexico at the time of the cartel deaths and could have blindsided a man like Gus Fring, and take over his empire with no questions asked,’ Mike shrugged. ‘Only one man who has tried to distance himself from his company around the exact same time he made his move on Fring’s empire, why would he suddenly need to be less seen, less occupied with his legal work?’

‘Shit,’ Hank frowned at how much it fell into place.

Mike turned around. ‘As to your original question, I am doing this is because I hate to see innocent people caught up in bad situations, once a cop always a cop I guess,’ Mike frowned, appealing to Hank’s loyalty to the badge and those who wore it. ‘That man, Heisenberg, is holding your brother-in-law and Jesse Pinkman hostage right now, so I had to do something. Sadly, I don’t know exactly where, or how it happened, but I believe Walt and Jesse were conned by the man in question to go to someplace with him to discuss the situation with Jesse’s past, and that’s when the sting happened,’ Mike explained. ‘The intention is to hand them directly over to the DEA once they plant their evidence and let them both go down for the crimes and deflect from his very real operation to take over Fring’s empire right under your noses.’

‘Walt is always too good for his own good, probably thought he was helping the shit stain, but man that poor kid, that bastard Burley just won’t give him a break,’ Hank seethed.

‘I trust I can rely on you to make this right?’ Mike asked. ‘If I still had a badge, then I’d be right there next to you, alas, it was only my old instincts that helped me unravel everything I’ve given you. I need justice for Gus Fring, despite the side of his business that I didn’t know anything about until I started investigating this dirty mess, but I would hope the work he did in the community and the love he had of his employees, he deserves some justice,’ Mike stated.

‘Yeah, no, this is good, I appreciate you trusting me, giving me the heads up,’ Hank offered. ‘I would have probably gone batshit crazy if I had seen evidence that my dopey genius of a brother-in-law was mixed up in this, might have done something really stupid,’ Hank grinned. ‘I will make sure I start work immediately on tracking down the real Heisenberg, starting at the very top with that creep in charge of his empire in New York.’

‘Take this, it’s the last known phone number I have found for Jesse,’ Mike handed Hank the burner phone details. ‘Might be a chance he still has it on him, or maybe Heisenberg has taken it off him wherever they are being held, might help if you can track it?’ Mike strongly suggested.

‘Great, it all helps,’ Hank eagerly took the details.

Mike gestured his goodbyes and headed back to the car, satisfied he had done a good day’s work and feeling much better as he drove away. His intentions were now to spend the rest of his day having fun with his granddaughter.

* * *

Jesse groaned as he felt his face been slapped and blinked his eyes rapidly as he tried to get his bearings. The slapping finally stopped when he managed to swipe the hand away.

‘Finally,’ a voice simply said. ‘Del! He’s awake.’

‘Where am I?’ Jesse asked, the room he was in was dark, but it felt strangely familiar, it looked like an office. He was sat on a beaten old office chair, and Jesse instinctively sat up before he fell off.

‘Your new home,’ the gruff voice replied.

‘Ok, Ian, give it a rest, he’s been asleep since we got here remember?’ Del reasoned. ‘Hey Jesse, how are you feeling?’

Jesse just shrugged. ‘Where’s Mr White?’

‘He’s around, don’t worry,’ Del returned. ‘Drink some water, and then you need to eat something, I’ll get something made up for you.’

‘What’s going on, where are we?’ Jesse asked, getting shakily to his feet and stretching.

‘I thought you’d recognise this place,’ Del remarked.

Jesse took a moment to take in the actual room, squinting his eyes and then as he looked down at the floor he remembered. ‘Jesus, what am I doing back here? You brought me back to Mexico, really?’

‘The local law enforcement had no leads on this place, it was just sitting here for the taking, anyone associated with the place has either run for the hills or they got killed around that pool,’ Del shrugged. ‘Seemed like it would be a waste for it to go untouched when there’s a decent working lab in the middle of the warehouse.’ Jesse seemed to have stopped listening and was just staring at the floor. ‘You ok?’ Del asked, seeing a strange expression on Jesse’s face.

Jesse remembered the last time he was in this office, that greasy dirty old man on top of him, the pain returned as if it was happening right at that moment.

‘Jesse?’ Del moved closer, fearing Jesse was about to fall over. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing, just hate this room, bad memories,’ Jesse remarked. ‘Can I go someplace else?’

‘Sure,’ Del agreed. ‘Did something happen in here?’

‘Yeah something happened, you shouldn’t have to ask what,’ Jesse shrugged Del’s hold off his shoulder and walked ahead.

‘Shit, sorry I didn’t realise,’ Del returned and once they had left the office Jesse spun around.

‘What is this, what exactly is this?’ Jesse emphasised with sudden anger. ‘Stop being all nice as if the shit that’s happened over the past couple of days never happened! You bring me back to a place of recent pain, and you think I’m too dumb to get the markers you’re putting up? I’m your prisoner, ok, I get it, right? Both me and Mr White, so why aren’t I with him, what game are you playing here with me?’ Jesse yelled.

‘You’re not my prisoner, Jesse,’ Del corrected.

‘I think I am, so unless you cuff me, or lock me up I am going to make every attempt I can to escape,’ Jesse sneered.

‘And leave Mr White behind?’ Del questioned without reaction.

Jesse wavered slightly. ‘He’d come with me,’ Jesse offered, a little unsure.

‘Ah but he is locked up, and still restrained, so how exactly would you do that?’ Del asked, as if fascinated by the notion, winding Jesse up further.

‘Are you seriously testing me?’ Jesse checked.

‘I’m showing you favour because, as I keep saying, I adore you, Jesse. Especially when you’re so confused, it’s cute,’ Del smirked. 

‘For fuck sake,’ Jesse exclaimed tiredly, feeling completely lost with the situation.

Del moved closer to Jesse, remaining passive in his approach. ‘You will remain here with me, Jesse, and if you abide by the rules then you will have certain privileges but if you in any way abuse that level of courtesy I’m giving you, then it’ll be Mr White who suffers, do you understand?’

‘You are a sick fuck,’ Jesse snapped.

‘Ah see, I will also expect a certain level of respect, Jesse, that potty mouth will be punished from this moment on, ok? So, do you want to test me?’ Del asked, his voice low and threatening.

Jesse stepped forward, his face almost in Del’s. ‘Fuck you,’ Jesse stated firmly and clearly.

‘I wish you hadn’t done that, Jesse, but I’ve been readying myself for needing to apply some level of discipline. It’s been barely 10 minutes since you woke up, and here you are already pushing me into a position of needing to teach you some manners, Jesse? I thought we were better than that, I thought we had a connection?’ Del sounded bitterly disappointed, as if what he was about to do was the very last thing he wanted to do. ‘I guess it’s never too early to start the discipline. Now understand, today we do this to you so you appreciate the punishment, but the next time we will apply this to your beloved Mr White if you step out of line.’

‘What do you mean?’ Jesse was confused, and then suddenly felt two sharp pains in his back, before his whole body stiffen with an intense pain erupting across his back. After a long while he fell heavily to the floor, panting for air.

‘That’s the first of your tasers, you will receive two more after a small recovery. Then maybe you might learn to watch your mouth,’ Del advised to the prone Jesse, laying helpless, face down on the concrete floor. ‘If you need more help learning this simple thing, then Mr White will receive three of these too, maybe that might encourage you to be a better citizen.’

Jesse was pulled up to a standing position, he barely got his balanced before he was struck again by the high voltage, sending him crashing back down. After only a few minutes recovery hands grabbed at him to lift him once again.

‘No, no, no please, I’m sorry, ok, I’m sorry, don’t do it again, please,’ Jesse begged, his voice panicked, gasping.

The taser struck, sending Jesse forward with force, barely stopping his head hitting the floor as he landed but the sobs were real as his body fitted in the aftermath. Heavy breathing and perspiring, Jesse couldn’t move for the longest time, he didn’t want to ever move again. A few minutes passed before Jesse felt someone kneeling beside him.

‘Do we have an understanding, Jesse?’ Del asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse answered, his breathing only just starting to calm down. He felt Del reach around him and help him to his feet, he clung to the man, guessing they wouldn’t dare taser him if he was in contact with Del which helped him to calm down, his anxiety was sky high.

‘I don’t want to hurt you, Jesse, but that doesn’t mean I won’t. Things have changed between us, and you have some work to do to fix that, Jesse,’ Del simply stated as they walked.

‘Ok,’ Jesse simply answered, as he watched Del unlock a door. He recognised the destination immediately it was his cell when he was in this warehouse before. As the door opened, Jesse saw Mr White sleeping on the only cot in the room, Del pushed him inside. 

‘His survival relies on you, I only brought him here because of you, Jesse. I know you can cook as well as him. That means he’s disposable, you are not, don’t forget that fact,’ Del stated before leaving and locking the door.

Jesse moved as much as his body allowed to Mr White’s side. Not wanting to wake the man, he seemed sound asleep, Jesse simply sat on the floor by the bed, memories of his last time being in the room flooding his mind. Remembering Stefan, and their connection before he shot him dead, with a shudder Jesse gingerly moved himself to lie on the floor, and just waiting for Mr White to wake up.

* * *

Walter White groaned as he felt the cold and guessed by the quiet around them It must still be the middle of the night, the bed creaked as he moved position.

‘Mr White?’ Jesse’s hushed voice sounded from below and Walt quickly glanced over the side of the bed to see Jesse looking up at him. ‘Hey,’ Jesse then offered weakly.

‘What are you doing down there?’ Walt asked.

‘Only one cot,’ Jesse answered.

‘Get up here, I’m cold, but you must be frozen,’ Walt ordered, and Jesse didn’t argue as he started to get to his feet, but he seemed slow, too slow. ‘What’s wrong?’ Walt asked.

‘Body aches, stuff happened, can barely move,’ Jesse complained in short breaths, his muscles felt as stiff as concrete, and the cold didn’t help.

‘Do I want to know what stuff happened?’ Walt scooted over as far as he could until his back hit the wall, giving Jesse some room on the cot.

‘Not what you think, at least,’ Jesse collapsed on the cot looking exhausted, the mattress was paper thin but better than the stone-cold floor. ‘He tasered me.’

Walt was horrified. ‘I heard that is one of the most unpleasant experiences you can have,’ Walt offered sympathetically.

‘Three times,’ Jesse added wearily.

‘Jesus,’ Walt wrapped his arms around Jesse, he felt ice cold.

‘Can, can you check my back, I think one of the hits got one of my wounds,’ Jesse shuddered.

‘I can’t really see much, we will check in the morning let’s just focus on getting warm,’ Walt advised and they both remained quiet in each other’s hold, Walt smothering Jesse’s back protectively, the younger man was frozen. ‘Did Del tell you anything?’ Walt finally asked.

‘That I’m to behave, that he’s giving me some privileges that I’m not to abuse,’ Jesse offered.

‘And if you do abuse them?’ Walt asked.

‘Then you get tasered or worst,’ Jesse responded.

‘I got the same speech, I step out of line or refuse to work, and he’ll hurt you,’ Walt sighed.

‘I can take it, Mr White, you do what you have to do, don’t worry about me,’ Jesse stressed. ‘But I am not risking him hurting you, ok? So, don’t ask that of me.’

‘I wasn’t going to, Jesse,’ Walt frowned. ‘But likewise, I’m not going to let you suffer any more pain on my account. Jesse, do you even remember what happened to you yesterday?’

Jesse had to think before he remembered the choking incident again, but his actual memory was hazy. ‘I’m ok,’ he simply replied.

‘That’s twice in recent days that he’s had to bring you back from the brink, right?’ Walt questioned.

‘You think he gets off on it?’ Jesse simply asked as a consideration.

‘Puts you in a vulnerable position, where you need to be helped, to be saved, just like before,’ Walt offered. ‘He said he wanted his Jesse back, the twisted bastard wants you to be his little 15-year-old boy again,’ Walt sighed. ‘I really don’t want you to find yourself in that position, Jesse.’

‘You know it’s going to happen anyway,’ Jesse offered, his voice shaking. ‘No matter what we do he will find reasons to hurt us both, blame the other one, until we either become compliant little zombies cooking him his blue sky or kill each other.’

‘No, I fear he doesn’t have long term plans for either of us,’ Walt sighed loudly. ‘He has people here, young people, about your age,’ Walt informed him. ‘We are to teach them, and I don’t think we have long.’

‘What do you think he’s planning?’ Jesse asked, moving slightly to look at Walt.

‘Just be careful around him, Jesse,’ Walt advised, absently holding Jesse closer as he spoke. ‘I fear you rejecting him these past few days has changed his attraction to you, so just be aware, maybe your best option is to just play along.’

‘Play along, are you crazy?’ Jesse questioned with surprise.

‘Just,’ Walt sighed loudly. ‘I can’t believe I’m even suggesting this, but Jesse, whatever he has planned it’s for us both, at this moment,’ Walt explained. ‘When we first arrived here, I don’t think he realised how thin these walls are. I heard him say that if you have really chosen me over him, you can have me and suffer the same fate that’s awaiting me,’ Walt stated. ‘I don’t think he was alluding our deaths, I think he’s planning to hand me over to the DEA as Heisenberg, and you as well, as my second. Claim the reward, the adulation. I’m sure he has more than enough resources to have put together a file that just outlines exactly who we are and what we’ve done that he’s aware of.’

‘Shit,’ Jesse replied. ‘So, we are here to what? Teach these other guys how to cook, is he taking over Gus’s empire? He thinks the cook is that simple?’ Jesse questioned unsure. 

‘No offence Jesse, but you picked it up from me with no chemistry background, it’s not impossible,’ Walt offered with a frown.

‘Over time, Mr White, it wasn’t just a few days! I tried to cook solo after those first few times, and I didn’t even get close. What the hell does he expect if we’re only given a few days or so?’ Jesse stressed.

‘He’s also not taking into account that you have the right aptitude for this, you might not be strong academically, but you are gifted in the detail. You do pick things up quickly if you are shown the practical application on how to do things. Your attention to detail is second to none,’ Walt said with a seriousness. ‘I don’t think even you appreciate just how big a deal it is that you can cook the blue sky to the same levels as a qualified and experienced chemist. It’s not something I expect to simply repeat with these kids he’s brought in, even if they are A-Grade chemistry students, it could still take months, maybe years for them to perfect the cook to the same standards.’

‘You really believe that, about me?’ Jesse quietly responded.

‘It’s not a case of believing, Jesse, I know,’ Walt responded. ‘But Jesse, Del doesn’t know all that you’ve done in my name, to save us. Gale, for example, and I fear that particular incident coming to light because it will be game over for you on that alone regardless of any stuff you’ve also done with producing blue sky. If we both go down, Jesse, I will fight to exonerate you, and it would break my heart to see you spend any time in jail. I hate that things may be out of our hands, Jesse, do you understand why I’m suggesting what I’m suggesting now?’

‘You don’t want me to choose you, but choose him, to save my own ass?’ Jesse figured sadly.

‘I know it sounds bad, but if it means you are not under suspicion, or any investigation where things you have done for me can potentially be uncovered, then you have a chance at freedom. Jesse, once I’m out of the way he has no hold over you, you can escape, just disappear and have a good life,’ Walt encouraged.

‘I’m not sure, Mr White,’ Jesse admitted, and Walter held him close. ‘You know he has that hold on me, I don’t think I can do this without you.’

‘It’s not ideal, I understand that,’ Walt sighed, and felt Jesse shift as he turned around in Walt’s hold to face him, their noses almost touching now. Jesse moved forward, bringing his head down to Mr White’s shoulder so they were hugging as close as possible, their legs intwined. The warmth between them was making things more bearable, as they stayed close.

‘Mr White, the things I’ve done, the lives I’ve destroyed, I don’t think I deserve a good life,’ Jesse then whispered, his voice calm.

‘Don’t say that, Jesse,’ Walt returned.

‘I told you before, I accept that I’m a bad guy, so I also need to accept that my fate is likely spending time behind bars,’ Jesse persisted.

‘Please Jesse, don’t make me live with the regret I will carry if you serve any time for the crimes that I put you up to,’ Walt sounded distraught.

‘I don’t think I can be this free and happy person you want me to be, Mr White. I don’t think you understand the control that man has over me. If I give in to him, if I follow your plan then I’m never leaving his side, you must know this,’ Jesse pulled back a little, wanting to see Walt’s face.

‘In jail your fate will be ten times worse, it’ll be full of Del Burley types wanting a piece of you, and it will not be fun,’ Walt feared, he leaned forward and lightly brushed Jesse’s lips with his own. ‘I saw Del with you the other night, and ok, it wasn’t fun for me to witness, but he didn’t hurt you at least. I do think he does care on some level, he has a genuine affection for you and you feel that too.’

‘I know,’ Jesse admitted and began to kiss Walt back.

‘Just don’t forget the plan when you’re with him, don’t let yourself be lost to him. Promise me you will keep fighting, Jesse, just one last fight,’ Walt stressed, as Jesse’s kissing became more frantic, his hands wandering all over Walt’s torso.

‘Let me see how things go, I’ll make a decision later, not now,’ Jesse reasoned. ‘If my body didn’t feel like shit, I’d be on you like a fucking rabbit, but I’m sorry, it hurts too much still,’ Jesse was breathing heavily now, clearly needing something. ‘Proves Del can hurt me if he wants to.’

‘Can I help you?’ Walt enquired, already pushing Jesse onto his back.

Jesse smirked, a smile that was genuine as he stared back at Walt. ‘Do your worst old man,’ he challenged, and Walt was going to do the exact opposite, as he lifted Jesse’s shirt to begin his exploration.


	9. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes crashing down, as words are said and games are played.

The sudden movement and noise startled Jesse awake as he was vaguely aware of being dragged from the cot and being firmly held, then dragged towards the door.

‘Wha,’ Jesse stammered, as he started to fight the hold. ‘What’s going on?’

There was no answer, instead Jesse glanced back and saw Mr White now sat up on the cot. Both knew better than to argue or question the men that worked for Del, as they pushed Mr White to get up and follow.

Jesse found himself being pushed into the shower room and before he could object hands began tugging at his clothes, as they were roughly removed.

‘Hey!’ Jesse started to yell but then he heard a crackling sound. Frozen with fear his eyes went straight to the taser the main guy now held, and he stopped objecting immediately.

Mr White was then pushed into the shower room and he stumbled a little before the men around him attempt to strip him. ‘I can undress myself!’ Walt fought the men and refused their attempts to do it for him.

The loud scream stopped Walter White as he froze and turned to see Jesse fall heavily to the deck, his now naked body shaking in the aftermath of the taser.

‘Ok, undress yourself if you insist,’ the main guy smiled.

Walter glared at the smug man stood over Jesse with the taser in his hand, then looked down once again at Jesse who was too stunned to move but still experiencing aftershocks. Taking careful breaths, Walter proceeded to get undressed until he was stood there naked trying to remain calm.

‘Ok, this is how it goes, my name is Lazio, I work for Del and my main job is keeping order around here so as I have demonstrated, either of you go against orders and the other one suffers, ok?’ Lazio announced. ‘The days will start at 5am, first duty will be to shower and do your business. If we reach an understanding then we might even let you do this yourself, without our help, but that is something you have to earn. Do I make myself clear?’

Walt frowned. ‘Perfectly, only Jesse is hardly in a position to understand.’

Lazio focus on Walt with anger. ‘And that is on you, old man. If he misses instructions because of your actions then you need to ensure he learns, because I will not be repeating myself!’ Lazio shouted. ‘After you are cleaned, you will spend the majority of your day in the lab teaching our students how to make the blue crystal. You will then be returned to your room once we deem production is satisfactory for the day, is that understood?’

‘Understood,’ Walt reluctantly agreed.

‘I’ve heard about you,’ Lazio sneered towards Walt. ‘The Great Heisenberg, so I will be making sure I don’t give you any chances to blindside me, I respect you, you respect me, that’s how it’ll be,’ Lazio stated then gestured towards Jesse. ‘Ok, move this lump into the shower,’ Lazio instructed to his men. ‘And old man, I trust you can walk yourself in? Due to the circumstances, I expect you to not only clean yourself, but the young lump as well, seeing as he’s struggling right now.’

Walt simply walked into the large shower stall and watched as the men roughly dumped Jesse beside him, sitting up against the shower wall. Walt glanced back and figured the audience was staying, he was about to ask how to turn the water on when the four shower heads in the stall all came to life suddenly. The freezing cold water stunned Walt, who yelled out at the painful cold attack and he heard Jesse start suddenly, realising the water was hitting him full on in his face, and he was trying to protect himself against the flood of water. Walt knelt down and moved Jesse enough to take him out of the direct line of water.

‘Jesse, try and get yourself cleaned up, can you do that?’

‘Cold,’ Jesse stammered.

‘I know, this is how it is, just,’ Walt paused as the cold became intense. ‘Just do what you can, let’s get this over with.’

Jesse was shaking wildly as he began to rub the water running off his body, neither man had been given any cleaning materials, so they literally could only use their hands and hope for the best. After what seemed a lifetime, the water suddenly stopped and fresh wave of cold hit them both as the they were exposed to the elements.

Two thread bare towels were thrown at them, and they were ordered to just wrap them around their waists. The men then decided Jesse was taking too long to get up and he was pulled roughly to his feet much to Jesse’s obvious disgust. He resisted complaining, and instead focused on keeping his towel in place. Both men were shaking as they were led through to the side room where overalls and boots were waiting for them, and they didn’t need to be told what to do once they were stopped in front of them.

‘Hurry it up,’ Lazio simply ordered, as Jesse and Walt put on the overalls, and boots, missing the luxuries of undergarments or socks but not daring to enquire. The outfits offered a little bit of warmth at least as they were led through to the main lab where the overall heat of the place soon hit them to warm them up again.

Lazio ordered them to stop in front of three eager looking young men. ‘Ok, these three gentlemen are your students. They will be watching and asking you questions, you answer every question, ok?’ Lazio gestured. ‘Pedro, Carlos and Jorge, meet your teachers, listen hard and make sure you understand this process precisely, we don’t know how long these guys will be around for so no slacking.’

Walt and Jesse exchanged frowns, before they sized up the students. They looked about Jesse’s age, local boys and eager to learn. Jesse wondered what had been sold to them with this arrangement, they must surely know things were not above board but that didn’t seem to concern them. It reminded Jesse of the last time he was here, supposedly to teach the other scientists and how badly that went, he wasn’t a teacher, so he was thankful that Mr White was with him this time.

To add to the humiliation Lazio gestured to one of his men who stepped forward and proceeded to put chain’s around Walter White, effectively securing him to the area but it was noticeable that Jesse remained free. To his credit, Jesse observed that Mr White accepted the restraints without fuss. Still possibly traumatised by his earlier indiscretion that caused Jesse to get tasered, it had been enough of a reminder.

‘Jesse, shall we begin?’ Walter White spoke up bringing Jesse out of his thoughts.

‘Sure,’ Jesse shrugged with disinterest, and without needing to be told he found the methylamine that the previous scientists had preprepared after Jesse’s last visit, under his instruction. He pulled it off the shelf and carried it over to where Walt was talking to the students. ‘Mr White, we will need to remember to make up batches of this stuff, I think they have all the ingredients around here, but they never bought it in like we did,’ Jesse remarked.

‘Ok, that’s good to know,’ Walt offered, and suddenly he was back in teacher mode. Jesse could tell he was relishing the distraction from his situation to educate the students about science, as he began to really delve into the chemistry they were producing. Jesse wandered around the lab, checking the cleanliness and dials before he was aware that someone was directly behind him.

‘I heard you were pulled from his cot this morning,’ Del Burley’s voice was low and menacing.

‘There was like only one bed, yo, and we were freezing,’ Jesse returned tiredly. ‘Would it kill to give us some heating, or another bed?’

‘They tasered you again this morning, correct?’ Del spun Jesse around to face him.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse simply answered, a quick and effective reminder that he had to be careful around Del now after the previous day’s painful warnings.

‘Are you hurt?’ Del asked, looking concerned but Jesse just shrugged with an air of disbelief to the question, and avoiding eye contact. ‘Jesse, look maybe I was a bit heavy on the warnings yesterday, I just need you to understand that I expect certain things.’

‘Ok, message received,’ Jesse offered with disinterest, still avoiding eye contact that seemed to irritate Del.

‘Are you punishing me?’ Del checked unsure, grabbing Jesse’s jaw to force him to look at him.

Jesse rolled his eyes and let out a sigh as Del removed his hold on him. ‘Look, what do you want, man?’ Jesse hissed, not wanting to raise his voice or sound like he was challenging Del, but he felt trapped in a cage. ‘I don’t know how to act around you right now, help me out because it doesn’t matter what I do it’s always wrong, right?’

Del seemed to consider Jesse’s words, and Jesse glanced over to Walt who was cautiously looking over at them, seemingly willing Jesse to not cause a scene.

‘Look, I got yesterday’s warnings ok, fully understood,’ Jesse continued. ‘This is the me you wanted ok? Not doing anything that might offend or upset you, ok? That’s all this is, I’m not punishing you, yo! I’m just being careful because those tasers hurt like a bitch, and I’ve experienced four of them already,’ Jesse explained, rolling his shoulders to suggest he was still in some pain.

‘Ok, point taken,’ Del accepted calmly. ‘So, it looks to me like Walt can teach those kids on his own, right?’

‘It’s his world, not exactly mine,’ Jesse offered glancing over, almost feeling sorry for the kids having to listen to the chemistry teacher version of Walt.

‘Are you hungry?’ Del asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse admitted.

‘Let’s go eat,’ Del suggested.

‘Wait, look, will all respect and stuff but if I eat, then Mr White should eat too, ok?’ Jesse stated with obvious caution. ‘Or at least let me bring stuff back for him, he can’t work on an empty stomach.’

‘Ok,’ Del agreed. ‘Jesse, we’re not planning to starve either of you.’

‘Then feed us then, we’ve had nothing since we got here last night,’ Jesse pointed out.

‘I’ll talk to Lazio, make sure it’s put in the plan,’ Del suggested.

‘Jesus, I can’t believe I had to point that out,’ Jesse frowned without thinking, then glanced at Del to check his reaction, fearing retribution but instead he saw Del smirking.

‘Now there’s some of the Jesse I recognise,’ Del continued to smile and led Jesse away from the lab and towards another part of the building.

\--

Jesse had just finished the bowl of cereal when he looked up to see Mr White being led into the make-shift canteen, Lazio pointed out where the food was, as Walter walked and his chains rattled around his ankles and wrists.

‘Does he need the chains? The old man is hardly going to run, and if he did with his lungs he won’t get very far,’ Jesse whispered to Del.

‘It’s to remind him of his place,’ Del simply said. ‘I’m taking no chances, I’ve heard enough about the great Heisenberg to not trust him for a moment.’

Jesse considered that as he watched Walt seemingly manage quite well despite the chains, selecting a few items of fruit for his plate.

Jesse then sighed. ‘He could strangle someone with those chains, you know. I mean I’m just saying, yo,’ Jesse idly pointed out, deciding to see if he really still had any sway with Del.

‘What?’ Del asked confused.

Jesse leaned forward a little across the table. ‘You don’t trust him, good policy, but putting a potential murder weapon in his hands, like literally attached it to him?’ Jesse half smiled as he saw the horror on Del’s face with the realisation. ‘Yo, don't forget that I know this guy, literally been his shadow for the past twelve months or so. Just saying that I see that chain, I see what I think Heisenberg would do if pushed.’

‘That old man would kill someone with his bare hands?’ Del frowned, almost disbelieving Jesse.

‘No, not his bare hands, he would probably tire too quickly but put a chain between them, that’s what I’m saying,’ Jesse sat upright again and moved quickly onto the fruit salad he had selected. With some amusement he could see Del trying to picture what Jesse was suggesting. ‘I mean, I’m not saying he would, Mr White look’s quite content with this arrangement, at the moment, but I don’t know, I’ve seen him do far worse for less.’

‘Lazio, take those chains off Walter’s wrists, it’s not necessary,’ Del barked the ordered as Lazio walked past, not taking his eyes of Walter White.

‘You sure boss? I thought we had to be extra careful with him?’ Lazio checked.

‘That is what I am doing,’ Del glanced at Jesse who just nodded his head to agree.

With some satisfaction Jesse was pleased to see the chains being removed from Walt’s wrists at least. He could think of a few reasons he could make up to convince them to remove the ankle chains but that might have to wait a bit longer, one victory at a time.

Del noticeably relaxed, looking at Jesse as if he’d done him a favour. Maybe thinking Jesse was coming back on side with him, which gave Jesse some confidence that maybe he might find a way to cope with this situation. Del then smirked. ‘I would have thought you’d like to see the old man in chains,’ Del slyly smiled but Jesse only narrowed his eyes at Del, who acted oblivious. ‘And I have some spare chains, you know, if you ever wanted to revisit old times.’

Jesse didn’t know how to respond for a moment. He couldn’t say he was surprised by the comment, but it was only then that it struck him that he really didn’t know what was now expected of him, in this new situation between them. Could he really object, or deny, Del? Did he still have a choice or a say in stuff like that, the fear of the taser if he objected felt very real. Could he truly say no, or would Del hurt Mr White if he was seemed to disobey?

‘Are you staying here too?’ Jesse asked, thinking a change in topic could potentially mean he could avoid having to respond to Del’s crass attempt at seduction.

‘There’s not a place nearby for over twenty kilometres, and I’m not really one to commute,’ Del offered. ‘I have a place made up in some old out-buildings round the back. We figured we should all move in here to avoid any attention on comings or goings from the site,' Del looked at Jesse, as he feigned interest picking at the fruit. ‘How’s your stomach been since yesterday?’

‘Ok, I think, this is the first stuff I’ve eaten since that happened,’ Jesse returned. 

‘Good, good, you need to eat properly, don’t go that long without food again,’ Del instructed as he finished his plate and pushed it away from him. ‘Are you done?’

Jesse shrugged, holding back from pointing out he only went so long without food because Del didn’t offer any and instead watched as Del picked up his plate, along with his own, and walked back over to the serving area to dump them. Jesse glanced at Walt, who was staring back at him. Both exchanged confused looks, unsure what was going on, but Jesse could tell Walt was concerned about him spending any amount of time with Del. Didn’t Walt tell him to play nicely? But then Jesse also knew it probably wasn’t fun to be forced to watch him with Del. He had no idea what Del’s intentions were for him, he was growing more convinced that making crystal wasn’t going to be his priority.

‘Come on, Jesse, I want to show you something,’ Del stated on his return to the table, and with little objection Jesse got tiredly to his feet. He glanced one final time at Walt, trying to reassure him that he could handle Del, before they left the canteen and headed to a whole new area of the building.

‘What is this place?’ Jesse asked as they walked into an empty room a few minutes later, there was very little décor of note, it looked like an old storeroom.

Del pulled a couple of empty wooden boxes into the centre of the room and gestured for Jesse to sit down. ‘A place for us to talk.’

‘Talk?’ Jesse checked unsure.

‘Sit down,’ Del requested again, and finally Jesse sat down as ordered. ‘Ok, so I wanted to just explain to you why I’ve done what I’ve done,’ he stated.

‘You don’t have to, yo, I don’t care,’ Jesse returned but Del hushed him.

‘I do have to, because I can see that I’m losing you,’ Del stated but Jesse couldn’t help his reaction as he looked away with a tired frown. ‘Jesse, what do I have to do to fix this?’

‘Seriously?’ Jesse checked, almost wanting to laugh but stopped himself. ‘How about doing the complete opposite of everything you have done since you came back into my life?’

‘I know it’s not been easy,’ Del offered quickly. ‘And I have been the enemy for the most part but it’s because we both have people in our lives who are bad for us, no matter how much we love them.’

Jesse narrowed his eyes. ‘What?’

Del took a moment before explaining. ‘At some point in the near future I will hand Walter White over to the authorities, but the one thing I want more than anything is to keep you out of that,’ Del explained.

‘I already know that’s your plan for Mr White,’ Jesse shrugged, deciding to show disinterest in the hope Del would read that to as them thinking it’s not as big a deal as he may think.

‘What do you mean you know?’ Del asked confused.

‘Mr White heard you guys talking, paper thin walls in this place, so he already told me this was your plan,’ Jesse dismissed.

‘He knows my plan?’ Del checked.

‘Yeah, and he’s ready for it. He’s had a good run with being Heisenberg. Figures you can afford the best people to get the best dirt and evidence against him. He’d already accepted that this was always a likely outcome, not exactly rocket science is it?’ Jesse explained.

‘And what about you?’ Del asked.

Jesse crossed his arms, slouching a little where he sat. ‘He wants me to do everything in my power to avoid going to jail with him,’ Jesse frowned, displaying minimal interest in what he was saying and his voice sounded tired. ‘Wants me to play nicely with you because that’s what you want, right? I play nicely, you won’t send me down with him.’

‘He said that?’ Del didn’t sound convinced.

‘Am I wrong?’ Jesse asked with the confidence that he wasn’t, but for once Del had no response so Jesse decided to continue. ‘Would you really hand me over to the authorities?’ Jesse countered.

‘I don’t want to,’ Del admitted, clearly taken aback by how much Jesse did know.

Jesse sat more upright, a new energy in his voice. ‘Then don’t, and don’t do it to Mr White either. Come on, let us teach your young padawans or whatever, and then let us go. Take over Gus’s empire, it is all yours but don’t drag Mr White and me down, just to build yourself up. You’re fucking Del Burley, man, and we’re nothing in the grand scheme of things,’ Jesse suggested. 

‘Jesse you are not nothing to me, this isn’t about dragging you down. That’s the last thing I want to do to you, Jesse,’ Del argued.

‘Then why do this to us? To Mr White and me? I’m fucking happy for once with Mr White, but oh no, once again the world hates Jesse Pinkman,’ Jesse trailed off with an emotional sigh bringing a hand up to his face to rub his watering eyes. Realising he was no longer playing Del but speaking from the heart, and it unnerved him a little.

‘You really don’t see it, do you?’ Del’s voice now conveyed confidence, causing Jesse to look at him sharply. ‘By doing that, keeping you and Mr White together? It defeats the whole point of what I’m trying to achieve here,’ Del explained with passion. ‘I’m doing this, all of this, for you, Jesse. To save you from him,’ Del argued.

‘Saving me from him, from Mr White?’ Jesse was confused now, and he couldn’t hide it in his reaction.

‘I need to free you from the true monster of this piece, Walter White. Don’t you even see what he is?’ Del asked accusingly.

Jesse took a deep breath to calm his growing anger. ‘No, no that’s not going to happen, you are not putting this on to me or Mr White.’

‘Jesse, listen to me,’ Del sat forward, seeing how troubled Jesse looked. ‘Think about all the crap that is your life to this point, and then tell me the worst times you have had.’

It didn’t take Jesse long to think about it, the memories that came to mind were painfully clear. Worse still, they were all very recent. Losing his house, even though he got it back, his car, his friends, when had he last seen Skinny and Badger? Losing Jane, splitting from Andrea and Brock, the rehab, Combo, Andrea’s brother, crazy-8 and Emilio and then of course him shooting Gale.

‘I see it all on your face, Jesse, everything,’ Del spoke, bringing Jesse back into the room. ‘Tell me those things you are remembering, and how they link to one Walter White.’

Everything, Jesse remembered, came back to his association with Walter White. It wasn't exactly news or something he hadn't worked out before, but it still hit him like a bullet. He couldn’t speak for a moment, until he looked at Del. ‘Grant wasn’t because of Mr White,’ he offered by way of deflection.

‘You were depressed, as I understand it you were having a near mental breakdown. Abusing drugs in your own home, amongst a non-stop house party? Was that because you were happy with life, in a good place, Jesse?’ Del asked pointedly and Jesse couldn’t respond, so Del continued. ‘When I saw you again, remember? That first time in my office, I recognised that look on your face,’ Del stated as he stood up. ‘It was the same look you wore when I first met you. When your father had you exactly where he wanted you as a young man, the ‘no way out’ look. It was right there, back on your face, but I stupidly chose to ignore it at that point,’ Del considered. ‘My own demons at play, we both have them.’ 

‘Stop this,’ Jesse requested, still sat on the box but his body moving back and forth. He stared intently at the floor hugging himself, taking controlled breaths.

‘Stop what?’ Del queried, almost dancing around Jesse now.

‘This, just stop it,’ Jesse demanded, getting more distraught and uncontrolled. ‘You’re not my knight in fucking shining armour, ok? You hear me? This isn’t the same! I wasn’t wearing any fucking look that time in your office, so just stop ok? Stop messing with my head!’ Jesse yelled, getting to his feet with clear anger. He moved to the other side of the room, he just needed to put some distance between them but then just as quickly stopped. Looking suddenly panicked, he then looked deflated as all the bluster melted away. ‘Oh my god, please don’t hurt Mr White because of what I’ve just said, I’m upset ok? This is on me, please don’t hurt him cos of that, please?’ Jesse then stressed, fearing that his outburst wasn’t towing the line that Del was expecting.

Del waved Jesse’s pleas away, quickly dismissing his concerns. ‘Jesse, I’m not trying to play you here, I’m not messing with your head, I promise you.’

Jesse stood in the middle of the room looking dejected, as he composed himself, sniffing a little as he battled his inner turmoil. He knew he had to stay strong, hearing Mr White’s advice running around his head. Finally, with a little more composure, Jesse responded. ‘Sorry but I find that hard to believe because you were very clear yesterday about my place here, the punishments I’d get if I step out of line? Even if I dared to swear at you, I mean just now I said two fucks, now you can make that three,’ Jesse explained.

‘Jesse,’ Del rolled his eyes.

But Jesse wasn’t done. ‘No, don’t Jesse me! I took that warning very seriously, especially that bit about if I step out of line Mr White would get punished for me? Are you now telling me that that’s not true? Because if it’s not then I feel you are very much playing me,’ Jesse stressed clearly on edge now, but then with a sigh he shrugged with an air of resignation. ‘But what the fuck does it matter? You said it yourself, you always get what you want, right? You have me, I’m right here,’ Jesse gestured weakly. ‘Right now, with the hold you clearly have over me if you wanted to just fuck my brains out, I can’t really stop you, can I?’ Jesse challenged with a sneer. ‘I can’t do anything to stop you because the minute I do, you will hurt Mr White and you know I can’t let that happen, and I won’t let that happen and you know that!’ Jesse stressed, getting emotional in his own defeat but trying to stand tall.

Del was silent for a moment as he slowly approached Jesse. Unsure, Jesse naturally began to retreat but then checked himself, showing some uncertainty as he gave Del the time he needed to step into his space, until they were almost touching. No words were said as Del ran his hand up and down Jesse’s arm, rubbing the rough material of the jumpsuit, before his hands found the front zip and he slowly began to pull it down.

Jesse remained still with his eyes just staring ahead, ignoring Del. Jesse’s breathing was already short, as he remained alert but seemingly defeated by the situation as Del lightly and slowly touched the skin of Jesse’s chest, moving the material away as he did so.

‘You would let me do this, do whatever I felt like doing to you, to save that old man any pain?’ Del finally whispered into Jesse’s neck, as he continued to test Jesse’s resolve. Jesse continued to do nothing to stop Del, resigned to whatever Del had planned if it meant Mr White wouldn’t get hurt.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse simply responded with stern resolve, and there was a sharp intake of breath on his part, as Del brushed his hand lower lightly over his cock.

‘Anything?’ Del pushed, bringing Jesse flush against him as he rested his head in the crook of Jesse’s neck, wrapping his arms protectively around Jesse.

‘Yeah,’ Jesse answered again, his breathing faster now, as the panic rose but he knew he had to stand firm.

‘What would the old man think of this?’ Del asked, and he seemed to be savouring having Jesse at his mercy holding him close, making sure Jesse could feel his hardness against his own, with only their clothes denying them a closer touch.

‘He'd think if me doing this, being your bitch, meant you didn’t send me to jail then it would make him happy,’ Jesse admitted, feeling a small sense of victory in his crass declaration.

For a moment Del looked disgusted by Jesse’s reply, but he quickly composed himself. ‘And what about you, Jesse? How does this make you feel?’ Del now brought a hand up to cup Jesse’s face, on some quest to touch every part of Jesse’s body but he roughly moved Jesse’s face to face his own when he didn’t answer. ‘I asked you a question, Jesse, how does this make you feel?’

‘I can’t answer that,’ Jesse simply responded.

‘Why not?’ Del was curious.

‘Because you will definitely hurt Mr White if I told you what I fuc… what I feel right now,’ Jesse returned with fire in his eyes. 

Jesse had been expecting anger or rage from Del to his reply, to his blunt defiance, but instead he watched as Del slowly moved away. Jesse’s confusion built as he saw nothing but sorrow and sadness in Del’s expression now. Jesse couldn’t quite understand what had just happened, as Del took some more steps back.

‘I had no idea how much of a hold that old man has over you, Jesse, I’m so sorry,’ Del responded, sounding shocked and Jesse was angered once again. He wanted to lash out and deny any such hold, but the very real fear remained deep inside, and he knew he couldn’t give Del any excuses to hurt Mr White, so he mentally tried to control himself. The doubt however slowly started to creep into his sub-conscious, and he felt conflicted for the first time. ‘Do you see it now, Jesse? Do you understand?’ Del asked with some hope in his voice, obviously seeing the uncertainty in Jesse’s expression.

‘I want to go back to the lab,’ Jesse requested quietly, suddenly feeling uneasy about being in that room with Del.

‘But we were just getting started, Jesse,’ Del objected, moving back around Jesse, getting closer once again as Jesse felt Del’s arms wrap around him as he rested his body against Jesse’s back. For a few moments Del’s hands once again explored Jesse’s exposed skin, reminding him of his position and making him want to leave the room even more, as he tensed under Del’s continued touches.

‘Jesse?’ Del moved back around to face Jesse and saw he was just focused on the ground. ‘This isn’t going to work for me, I’m sorry, Jesse,’ Del sighed and moved away. ‘Go back to the lab, go be with your master.’

Jesse shot Del a look. ‘He’s not my master,’ Jesse objected lightly. Any fight was rapidly leaving him, and a growing feeling that the room was closing in around him, as his anxiety levels continued to rise.

‘Really? Are you sure about that, Jesse?’ Del checked. ‘Sounds to me like you’d do anything for him, you stood there telling me that you are prepared to let me fuck you just because he told you to. That he told you to ‘be my bitch’, right?’ Del exclaimed with his own anger. ‘Tell me, Jesse, what else has he told you to do? What was that thing that messed you up a while back? it’s only ever been alluded to, and you’ve never said, but I’m sensing there’s something major,’ Del pushed but Jesse was already shaking his head, not prepared to play these games but already feeling like he was losing. ‘You killed someone, didn’t you? Is my Jesse now a killer?’

Jesse shot Del a look of sheer terror and panic, unable to disguise the guilt as the accusation floored him. Jesse could only close his eyes as they quickly watered, feeling himself breaking under the sudden pressure he was feeling, it was getting harder to breath.

‘Jesus, seriously?’ Del offered with shock, and Jesse felt him moving closer once again. ‘That bastard asked you to kill someone?’ Del checked, putting his hands on Jesse’s arms to steady him, seeing Jesse was struggling emotionally now.

Jesse was now disconnected. Gale was front and centre of Jesse’s memories, staring at him, telling him he didn’t have to do it but reminding him that he was never strong enough. Mr White had demanded him to do it, and he had to do what he had to do. That’s what had started all this, Jesse could no longer ignore the truth. His ongoing mental struggles, turning back to a drugged fuelled existence, no longer caring what was going on around him. Giving Grant the opportunity to complete the fucked up existence that his life had become, and it was all because Mr White had asked him to do that one unforgiveable thing and he’d been too weak to say no, too weak to run away.

‘He’s a monster, Jesse,’ Del whispered, bringing Jesse closer to him until he was being embraced. ‘Just like your father, he’s abused your trust and good nature.’

‘No, I’m a bad guy, it’s on me, no one else,’ Jesse lightly protested then sobbed with little conviction now, unable to keep his emotions in check any longer.

‘No, Jesse,’ Del pushed Jesse back so he could look at him. ‘No, you really aren’t, you can’t believe that.’

‘Get away from me,’ Jesse yelled loudly and shook himself suddenly out of Del’s hold. Del had to check himself quickly as Jesse pushed him away, and he stumbled back. Jesse felt lost as he put some distance between him and Del.

Rapidly wiping his eyes, Jesse attempted to compose himself, zipping up his coveralls and rubbing his hands through his grown-out buzz cut. Blindly heading to the door, Jesse tried to open it but found it locked, and with frustration Jesse began recklessly hitting the door, knowing he couldn’t break it down. He just needed to do something, anything, as he lost all control and lashed out with anger at the unmoving wooden door.

‘Jesse!’ Del’s voice finally broke though after a few attempts. Jesse allowed Del to stop him lashing out, before collapsing in a heap against the door, finally letting his emotions go. Feeling the pain in his hands he began to sob uncontrollably, resting his head against the door.

‘Oh my god, Jesse, tell me what to do,’ Del fussed suddenly less sure of himself, hovering close to the sobbing man, but Jesse had no response for Del.

Jesse then heard the door unlock, and he silently backed away before getting to his feet numbly, as the door opened. He sensed Del guiding him out of the room and without word they walked along the corridor. They didn’t turn towards the lab, instead Del encouraged Jesse to keep moving until they reached the room that was acting as his and Mr White’s cell. Without words Jesse was guided to the cot that he instantly sat on with his back against the wall, pushing himself into the corner, as he brought his legs up to hug his knees.

Del busied himself at the side table for a moment before returning to Jesse, he was holding three lines of crushed meth that Jesse eyed hungrily.

‘Looked like you might need this,’ Del shrugged. ‘I’ll give you this, but on the proviso that you promise me one thing, ok?’ Del saw Jesse numbly nodding his head, with the slightest of moves. ‘Don’t run,’ Del asked softly. ‘Things are a mess, but you need to trust me to sort it, ok? Just please don’t make a run for it from this place, ok? We are in the middle of nowhere, you wouldn’t survive the terrain, so please, just promise me you won’t do that?’

Jesse looked at Del, but his eyes returned to the white lines.

‘Jesse, I need you to promise me,’ Del asked, there was a fear in his voice that he wasn’t getting through.

‘Ok,’ Jesse agreed flatly, the only escape he wanted in that moment lay in those three white lines.

Del moved the lines forward and Jesse didn’t wait to be told as he leaned forward and inhaled all three lines in quick succession, before falling back against the wall. He now rested in a mellow stupor, with his eyes half open as his breathing rapidly calmed.

‘That’s it, Jesse, enjoy,’ Del encouraged and reached for the blanket and wrapped it around him before stepping back and just observing him for a moment. Del looked conflicted, confused and he sighed heavily glancing away, and tears escaped from his eyes that he quickly wiped away. Composing himself with a big sigh, Del adjusted his shirt and left the room.

* * *

It had been a long shift, but the students hadn’t been complete numbskulls, Walter considered as he sat down at a table with a plate of rice and stew. He glanced around, it was only him and the students eating, and he tried not to think about the fact that he hadn’t seen Jesse since breakfast, or Del for that matter. He therefore couldn’t hide his surprise when he saw Del and Lazio walk into the canteen area, minus Jesse, and he kept his eyes on them the entire time as they went to grab food. They spent a good ten minutes huddled in the corner, talking frantically, and Walt was growing more and more concerned for Jesse.

The discussion suddenly took a turn as Del slammed his hands down on the table, he glanced at Walt before quickly looking back at Lazio and the fear rose. Had Jesse done something to spark this? Walter half hoped he had, Del would deserve Jesse’s betrayal, but he dreaded what any consequence might be in those circumstances. Things rarely went Jesse’s way, especially when it looked like it would. 

‘You have a day, that is it, then we need to move out,’ Del stated firmly as he stood up looking both angry and stressed. Del only glanced at Walt for a moment, before leaving the area.

Lazio got to his feet once Del had left and sat himself opposite Walter, he glared at him for a moment before speaking.

‘Seems you have people helping you on the outside,’ Lazio offered with a sigh.

‘I do?’ Walt responded calmly, continuing to eat his food.

‘Franko was arrested this morning, by the DEA,’ Lazio informed him.

‘Oh,’ Walt didn’t have to fake his surprise. ‘Why?’

‘Seems your brother-in-law has been told the identity of Heisenberg,’ Lazio’s stare was now fixed on Walt. ‘And it isn’t you.’

‘Well, there’s always been a lot of speculation as to who Heisenberg is,’ Walt shrugged. ‘But they think it’s Franko?’

‘No, they are convinced without any doubt that it’s Del Burley,’ Lazio revealed.

Walt put his fork down and sat back, that was perfect he wanted to say, but instead he employed his best poker face, which admittedly had become a lot better in recent months. Without knowing the true details Walt could easily figure how Del Burley had been framed, and he already knew it was the work of Mike, maybe with the help of Saul Goodman? Burley had the clout, the money, people in key spots at recent key events. He also had a known, at least to Hank, unhealthy obsession with Jesse Pinkman, who he had tried to frame for being Heisenberg’s second, and well as the bad history with which was worth a prosecution all on its own. Hank would want Burley’s collar, and now it seemed Mike had given him that push.

‘What does that mean exactly?’ Walt calmly asked. ‘For us, for this,’ he gestured around them.

‘Now that Del is America’s most wanted, every force is on his trail, and the media are going crazy,’ Lazio explained. ‘Our only saving grace is the fact we are currently in Mexico, buys us some time. However, even if you could turn those students into Heisenberg’s mark twos in a couple of days what does it matter now? Del can’t do anything with the product that will be produced, it’ll be too hot. The stuff is worthless to us now, Del is worth way more to any criminal than the crystal meth right now,’ Lazio stated.

‘I see,’ Walt frowned, inwardly he was cheering. ‘So, what is the plan?’

‘Well, I have one day to dismantle this entire set up, wipe it down, and move out,’ Lazio got to his feet. ‘Redeploy these young men to other aspects of the business, if there is still a business.’

‘And Jesse and I?’ Walt asked, hopeful to learn anything.

‘Undecided, Del needs to think, seems something happened between him and your boy today. That young dick has always been a distraction to him,’ Lazio sighed, and gestured for Walt to get to his feet. ‘Start walking, you are having an early night.’

Walt dragged his chained feet and walked the short distance to the room, all the while wondering what has happened between Jesse and Del. He couldn’t help but be concerned, a natural state when Jesse was involved, and he just hoped Jesse was ok. As the door opened to their room, he saw Jesse sat huddled up in a blanket on the cot, knowing instantly that something wasn’t right but waiting until Lazio had closed the door before shuffling over.

‘Jesse?’

‘Hey Mr White,’ Jesse slurred, a half grin on his face.

‘Are you high?’ Walt checked.

‘It’s good stuff, yo, definately ours,’ Jesse grinned, his head was resting against the wall and by the red mark it left on his forehead Walt could see he’d been in that position for a while. His eyes were red rimmed, and he wore the look of someone who wasn’t quite with it.

‘Everything ok?’ Walt asked, already knowing conversation would be limited until he sobered up a little, as well as answering the question as to whether Del had found Jesse's stash that Walt had hidden in the cabin.

‘Yeah, s’ok,’ Jesse seemed very tired, his eyes fluttered a little before he focused on Walt. ‘Do you need to sleep, I can move?’ he offered.

‘No, it’s fine, stay there,’ Walt sighed, he really wanted to think about the current situation, as he put his head in his hands to try and figure out what scenarios might play out now.

‘What’s up?’ Jesse asked.

‘Don’t worry about it now,’ Walt offered. ‘We should rest whilst we can.’

‘No tell me, I’m ok,’ Jesse offered, still wrapped up in the blanket, sitting against the wall.

‘What happened to you today, you look dreadful,’ Walt changed the subject, sitting back so he could properly look at the younger man.

‘Me and Del, we talked,’ Jesse shrugged, and then sighed as he rubbed his face showing the first signs that the drugs were wearing off.

‘Jesse, your hands, what the hell happened?’ Walt asked with concern, seeing bruises and dried blood.

Jesse simply looked at both his hands, as if for the first time. ‘Oh, I couldn’t open a door,’ he simply replied, his eyes fixed on the damage done.

‘So, you and Burley? You talked, picked a fight with a door, that’s all?’ Walt checked.

‘He tried to touch me up, but it wasn’t really the right mood. He was just testing me, being all serious,’ Jesse frowned.

‘Why was he testing you?’ Walt asked, it was taking all his self-control to remain patient with Jesse, as he attempted to explain his day whilst still a little high.

‘He thinks you’re a monster, and that I need saving from you,’ Jesse revealed, avoiding Walt’s gaze.

Walt scoffed. ‘That’s a bit rich,’ he remarked.

‘He knows I killed someone,’ Jesse then revealed. ‘For you.’

‘What? He knows?’ Walt turned to face Jesse.

‘He guessed,’ Jesse shrugged.

‘And what, you just confirmed it?’ Walt asked harshly, struggling to understand the situation.

‘I couldn’t deny it, and I didn’t tell him anything, didn’t have to,’ Jesse pushed the blanket off of his shoulders and shifted to the edge of the cot, suddenly agitated. ‘He was just talking at me, you know? Telling me shit, and I really am struggling right now, Mr White, I just don’t know,’ Jesse rubbed his face with both hands and tried to calm his sudden rising anxiety.

‘It’s ok, Jesse, it’s ok,’ Mr White mentally chastised himself for his directness, and put a soothing hand on Jesse’s back. ‘It’s just not an ideal time to be giving that man more ammo, he’s clearly working you.’

‘I know,’ Jesse sniffed. ‘Everybody does.’

‘Jesse,’ Walt began, but Jesse stood up and cut him off.

‘No, Mr White, don’t, just don’t say anything ok?’ Jesse requested as he moved away from the cot.

‘Jesse, what’s going on?’ Walt suddenly grew concerned by Jesse’s mannerisms, he had begun to hold his body and seemed to be muttering to himself as he looked upwards. ‘Jesse, I’m not catching what you are saying right now?’

Jesse glanced at Mr White as if for the first time. ‘I need to go,’ Jesse then decided, and moved to the door, he started to bang his already bruised hands against the wood.

Walter immediately got up and moved, as quickly as his chains allowed, to Jesse’s side. He finally managed to grab Jesse’s wrists with some effort to stop him. ‘No, Jesse, stop,’ Walt ordered but Jesse struggled in his hold, out of control he tried to free himself from Walt’s grip on him, but he didn’t make any sounds. ‘Jesse!’ Walt yelled into Jesse’s face, and he saw Jesse freeze immediately, staring blankly back at Walter White. 

Both men just stared at each other for a moment, Jesse in fear and Walter in confusion. ‘Jesse?’ Walt said with softer tones, a genuine fear building.

‘I, I, I need to go,’ Jesse simply repeated, no longer fighting Walt’s hold but looking at the door.

‘You can’t just go, Jesse, we have to stay here, we’re prisoners, remember?’ Walt said calmly.

Jesse considered this. ‘I promised I wouldn’t run,’ Jesse then remarked, looking confused, as if remembering something but unsure why.

‘Jesse, you’re not making any sense. Stop this, please,’ Walt pleaded, still holding onto Jesse’s wrists.

‘I know what I have to do, it’s time to go,’ Jesse said slowly, a sudden calm coming over him.

‘Why?’ Walt questioned.

‘To get out of this, I need to do it,’ Jesse replied as if it was obvious.

‘Do what, Jesse?’ Walt asked patiently.

Jesse stared at Mr White with conviction blazing in his eyes. ‘I’m done, Mr White, there’s nothing else for me to do here, it’s the best thing for me,’ Jesse rambled, and Walt could see the determination, and the realisation in Jesse’s face. 

‘What do you mean? You’re done?’ Walt said with some fear.

‘It’s time I die, Mr White, it solves everything,’ Jesse calmly answered. ‘I can’t go to prison, it would break you, and I can’t stay with Del, it would break me, so I need to go, go.’

Walter White had never felt a stronger need to cry in reaction to anything previously in his life, as he felt then. ‘No, Jesse, no, I won’t let you do that,’ Walt immediately opposed the idea. ‘You have everything to live for, Jesse, your whole life ahead of you, no, this is not a good plan, trust me, Jesse. You have to trust me.’

‘I’m tired, Mr White, so tired. I can’t keep running away, living with myself,’ Jesse began to sob, as his body began to shake. ‘I can’t keep living with Gale inside my head, Jane, Emilio, and everyone else I’ve killed,’ Jesse stated in distress. ‘I’m the bad guy, I need to go. I can’t live with what I’ve done, Mr White, I don’t deserve to have a life when so many people don’t have there’s because of me,’ Jesse was now so lost and so deep into his own convictions, that Walt found himself tearing up. ‘Those air crash victims, anyone who has taken our meth, Mr White, we need to remove ourselves from this world. The cancer will get you, so I have to do this myself, I need to solve my own problems, it’s the only way,’ Jesse stressed, his emotions now fully encapsulating him as he collapsed into Walt’s hold.

‘Suicide is not an option, Jesse,’ Walt stressed, his own emotions crashing through his voice as he spoke, clinging to Jesse.

The sobs stopped as suddenly as they had started, and Jesse seemed to relax a little, still in Walt’s hold. ‘I can do this, I’m ready, I’m not afraid, Mr White,’ Jesse simply said. ‘I just want this to end.’

‘Oh my god, Jesse, I know that you can do anything you want to do, but please, don’t do this,’ Walt begged, he had never felt so helpless in his life as he did then. ‘Stop talking like this, please, just get some sleep that’s all you need.’

Jesse seemed to notice Walt’s emotions for the first time, and he frowned as he stepped back with a strange calm. ‘Don’t be upset, Mr White, you don’t want me to go to jail, right? And I don’t want to be under Del Burley’s thumb for the rest of my life, so this is the perfect solution, surely you see this?’

Walt didn’t respond and moved back to the cot, putting his head in his hands as he sat down. ‘This is my fault, I did this to you, pushed you this far,’ Walt realised, and he glanced over to see Jesse had slid down the wall and was now sitting by the door, seemingly unaffected by his own words just moments earlier. Jesse wore a blank expression, killing Walt inside unsure what to do. ‘Jesse is this the drugs talking, is that what this is, just the drugs, yes?’

‘I feel fine, Mr White, it’s like a weight has been lifted, I feel good,’ Jesse simply said in a tone that Walt was so familiar with, and it shook him to the core.

‘No, this doesn’t sound like you, this isn’t you talking it’s Del. He’s put this idea in your head, hasn’t he?’ Walt argued. ‘The Jesse I know always has hope, always wants to fight, and not just give up.’

‘Maybe it’s time for a change,’ Jesse shrugged tiredly.

‘Ending your life, Jesse, that’s a little more than a change,’ Walt pointed out arrogantly, unable to stop his patronising tone now. ‘Ok, so, tell me, how do you plan to do this exactly?’

‘I don’t know,’ Jesse then looked upwards. ‘I could get to the roof, and jump?’

‘That won’t kill you,’ Walt dismissed. ‘Worst case is you’ll break your neck and then what? You won’t be able to do anything ever again, you’d be trapped in your own body, is that really a good plan, Jesse?’

Jesse seemed undeterred, as he gave it more thought. ‘There’s plenty of poisons around here, drink something, inject something, I don’t know.’

Walt rolled his eyes, not willing to believe what he was hearing because Jesse was right. There was more than enough toxic stuff in this building that he could have access to, and his fear grew. ‘Jesse, please, don’t do anything until we know more about the new developments, can you just do that for me?’

‘What new developments?’ Jesse questioned with eerily calm.

‘Franko has been taken in by the DEA, arrested, seems Hank firmly believes that Del Burley is Heisenberg, he’s closing in, Jesse,’ Walt revealed.

Jesse was silent for a moment, taking the news in. ‘Del Burley going down for our crimes? That works,’ Jesse simply said.

‘Right?’ Walt jumped on that. ‘So, your plan might not be needed. As far as Hank is concerned, we’re prisoners. We've been taken by Del to use as leverage, right?’ Walt suggested with enthusiasm, willing Jesse to go with him on this theory. ‘Think about it, if Del is Heisenberg and he wants to get Hank off his scent, he’d take Hank’s brother-in-law, me, as a prisoner, and he’d take you because,’ Walt desperately tried to think of a reason that Jesse could believe in and get his hope back.

‘He’d take me because I can bring him down on other counts, because he was my abuser,’ Jesse bluntly filled in the blanks for him. In that moment, Walt realised that for the first time that he could remember Jesse had labelled Del as his abuser, which gave Walt some hope.

‘Yes! Your abuser, that’s right, Jesse,’ Walt exclaimed. ‘That’s perfect, yes, Del would take you because you are a threat to him so, don’t you see? If you killed yourself, then that ruins the plan, right?’

‘But can we let Del Burley takes the fall for all our crimes?’ Jesse considered.

‘It would mean that you don’t have to go public with his real crime against you, but that he still gets what he deserves for what he did to you, Jesse,’ Walt stated.

‘And we go free,’ Jesse finished, showing no emotion.

‘Yes! We get the chance to fix things, to make our wrongs right,’ Walt corrected brightly.

‘Fix things?’ Jesse caught, his demeanour changing rapidly with that one declaration. ‘Del Burley going to prison gives us the power to bring back the dead?’ Jesse mocked, his mood suddenly darkening.

‘Well, no, I didn’t mean that. I mean we can live better lives, away from this darkness, Jesse,’ Walt offered. ‘Start afresh, do good for people, yes?’

‘Aren’t you listening to me? You never fucking listen to me, Mr White,’ Jesse got to his feet abruptly. ‘I don’t deserve a better life, I don’t want a better life, I’m done, Mr White, done!’ Jesse yelled. ‘I want out, I just want this fucking life to end, what’s in my head will never just disappear or be fixed,’ Jesse gestured, as his emotions erupted to the surface. ‘I don’t want to live anymore, Mr White, I’m tired, I want to die!’ he stumbled a little in his despair and Walter White immediately got to his feet and embraced his hurting partner, holding him so tight, fearful to let go as he wrapped his arms around him.

‘Jesse, it’s going to be ok, I promise you,’ Walt whispered, reassuring himself as much as Jesse.

‘It’ll never be ok, Mr White,’ Jesse spoke with a darkness in his voice, and it went right through Walt like a dagger. in that moment Walt knew that he could never let Jesse go, or at least out of his sight. Jesse was deadly serious about his intentions and Walter White had never been so afraid.

‘Sit down here, Jesse,’ Walter encouraged, changing his tact and tone completely. As Jesse numbly sat down, Walt wrapped the blanket back around him, and made sure he was comfortable before moving to the door. He started to hit it loudly. ‘Is anyone there? I need to speak to someone, urgently, come on!’ he kept banging whilst glancing back at Jesse who no longer looked like he was even in the room, he wasn’t reacting at all to Walt’s banging.

After a few minutes the door unlocked and it cautiously opened, Walt offered his arms up in surrender as one of Lazio’s men faced him. 

‘This is really serious, I need to talk to Lazio or Burley urgently, this isn’t joke, please, don’t ignore me, please, I beg you, Jesse is in danger,’ Walt stressed.

The door closed and locked again, and Walt really hoped that guy would pass on his message. He turned and looked at Jesse, sitting in his own well of despair and Walt was under no illusions that his partner had, at some point that day, suffered his second mental breakdown of his young life.


	10. Taking the fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Jesse finally broken? Walt and Del come head to head, but where does Jesse's fate truly lie...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is the final chapter of Part 4. It was at this exact point, at the beginning of this chapter that I stepped away, needing to take a break for a month or so, but the story never left me as I kept imagining how it would play out from here. At that time I didn't realise this would mark the beginning of the final chapter, but when I returned to it, it seemed that the additional thinking time and plotting wasn't such a bad use of time - I really hope you will agree once you reach the end.

There was a light knock on the door and Del Burley took a deep breath before going to open it, he saw Lazio looking back at him.

‘The old man is asking to speak to one of us, telling us Jesse is in danger,’ Lazio offered unsure.

‘Danger? What sort of danger?’ Del asked.

‘My guy said that it wasn’t clear,’ Lazio shrugged. ‘Do you want me to deal with it, or do you want to? Normally I would have dealt with it but seeing as it’s Jesse I figured I should pass it by you.’

‘Yeah, thanks,’ Del considered the situation. He hadn’t left Jesse in a good place earlier, so he was a little concerned but didn’t want to show it. ‘I’ll stop by, don’t worry about it.’

‘Ok, boss, do you need me?’ Lazio checked.

‘No, get some rest,’ Del considered, as he took the keys off of Lazio before he grabbed his jacket and left his hut, situated outside in the grounds of the warehouse. The night air had a brisk chill, as he walked towards the warehouse, letting Lazio return to his own hut.

A few moments later he reached the door, pausing for a moment. The warehouse was eerily quiet at this hour, as he took the keys out and unlocked the door to walk inside.

Walter White glanced up at him as he entered. The older man was sitting on the floor next to the cot where Jesse was wrapped up in a blanket lying down. He noticed Walt’s hand was holding Jesse’s outstretched battered hand, a strange comforting gesture.

‘You called?’ Del announced.

Walter White took his time to get back to his feet, the chains around his ankles making a noise as he did so. He approached with caution, staring intently at Del. ‘Jesse is in a really bad way. I want to believe you care about him, that you love him as you claim,’ Walt said with a hushed voice. ‘Please, help me to help him, let’s forget what’s possibly between us, what’s going on right now. He can’t get caught up in that in his current state.’

‘What’s wrong with him?’ Del asked, sounding a little concerned as he glanced over to the prone figure on the bed.

Walt looked a little lost before he spoke. ‘My best guess is that he appears to have had a breakdown of some sort. I don’t want to get into the why or how it happened, I suspect you already know but he’s talking about taking his own life. He’s speaking like it’s the only solution, and he’s serious, ok? I just need him to be ok, I don’t care about anything else right now,’ Walt stressed, and the concern was clear to see.

Del glanced past Walt and looked again at the sleeping form of Jesse. ‘He wants to kill himself?’

‘It’s his plan, his only plan,’ Walt sighed.

‘That’s a stupid plan,’ Del regarded.

‘I’ve never seen him like this before,’ Walt remarked.

‘I have,’ Del frowned. ‘I mean, not physically seen it before, but Franko mentioned he went a little nuts in the aftermath of the attack when he was fifteen. Apparently, he became two versions of himself during that time, or something, they were really concerned,’ Del remembered.

Walt didn’t like hearing that, he had only ever known the bratty brash cocky Jesse, the one who had an answer for everything and wasn’t shy to say what he thought. In recent weeks he had seen a less confident side, a more vulnerable side and maybe he’d been in denial but now he was genuinely at a loss as to how to help Jesse. The fact he was even discussing it with Del Burley was a clear sign he felt out of his depth.

‘What is your plan?’ Walt then asked.

‘For you two?’ Del checked he understood, seeing Walt nod his head. ‘I’m guessing Lazio brought you up to speed, I’m now you and I find myself in the position of needing to be on the run. It’s not ideal and I have to admit your Mike guy has outplayed me this one time. In hindsight, I handed it to him on a fucking plate, even I’m wondering if I was really Heisenberg,’ Del sighed, then smirked, showing Walt some of the character that he’d seen back in the cabin when they drunk late into the night that one time. ‘Franko always feared how Jesse blindsided me, now I see his fear playing out,’ Del sighed. ‘But I figure I still hold at least two cards, or one and a half, maybe,’ Del frowned looking at Jesse. ‘Tell me straight, Walter, are you really ok with letting me take the fall for as Heisenberg?’

‘I’m not sure how much longer I have, Del,’ Walt admitted heavily, and with honesty. ‘But if you taking that fall enables me to spend whatever time I have left to ensure Jesse is ok, then I’m sorry but I’d be more than happy for you to take that fall.’

Del seemed to appreciate the honesty, allowing a small smile, glancing at Jesse again. ‘I’m in a much better position to ensure Jesse gets the best long-term care, wouldn’t you admit? You should just die in prison, as is right with the decisions you made and actions you took,’ Del stated evenly before pointing at Jesse. ‘Make no mistake, Heisenberg,’ Del spoke his name in a low drawn-out tone, for effect. ‘Jesse is like he is right now because of you, not me this time.’

Walt couldn’t help but scoff in response at the suggestion. ‘Are you sure about that?’ Walt challenged. ‘You think the attacks by your son played absolutely no part in his state right now? Not to mention the intense and painful torture Franko put him through, that he’s still recovering from, and then being handed to the cartel to be used and abused? Are you really telling me that you think that has had absolutely no effect on Jesse? Seriously?’ Walt stressed with venom.

‘He killed a guy for you, Walter White,’ Del returned angrily, facing him square on, in the face. ‘Jesse is many things, but he was never a killer,’ Del stressed with fury burning in his eyes. ‘Never a killer, before he hooked up with you, you did that!’

Walt hesitated for a second, knowing that would be a hard one to argue so took some time to compose himself before responding in calmer tones. ‘I have killed many people who were about to end Jesse’s life, without me he wouldn’t even be here right now. I have saved him more than you could ever know, regardless of consequence.’

Del stepped back, looking intrigued. ‘Is that so?’ Del raised his eyebrows. ‘You just become more fascinating by the second, Mr Walter White.’

Walt sighed, hoping he wouldn’t regret that admission of several murders to a mad man. ‘So, tell me, what evidence do you have that will prove I am Heisenberg? Do you even have any physical evidence? Are you recording this conversation right now? Because I don’t think you are and I can’t think of anything you may have in your possession that could take me down, over the evidence my brother-in-law now has for you,’ Walt finished, using all the Heisenberg fight he could muster.

‘I have Jesse,’ Del simply answered, and it shook Walt to the core.

‘And why do you say that?’ Walt questioned.

‘Because of what broke him,’ Del revealed, getting Walt’s full attention. ‘What broke him was the realisation that you, Walter White, you are the reason his life is what it is, it’s not me,’ Del smirked with confidence. ‘I am not the bad guy in his life.’

Walt wanted to roll his eyes, but it just didn’t seem fitting, so instead he stood strong. ‘I’m supposed to be shocked by this?’ Walt responded with mock confusion, unsteadying Del for a second. ‘Less than six months ago Jesse lay in a hospital bed with his face looking like something out of Rocky movie, just after Hank physically assaulted him, and he told me exactly that. He told me in no uncertain terms how I had ruined his life, that everything he cared about was gone because of me, and you know what he did?’

‘What?’ Del was clearly less certain about his statement now.

‘He agreed to be my partner again, 50/50,’ Walt said with some pride leaving Del speechless. Stepping back a few steps, Del continued to stare at Walt, as if he already knew he was doomed. 

Walt continued after enough dwell time had passed. ‘Even if you had Jesse, and somehow you managed to persuade him to go against me, it would still only be his word against mine. In the court it would be the word of an unemployed junkie addict verses that of a respected high school teacher, pioneering chemist, family man with terminal cancer who also happens to be the brother-in-law of one of New Mexico’s top guys at the DEA?’

Walt paused long enough to let that sink in for Del. ‘You didn’t wonder what’s kept me out of jail this long? What stopped Jesse ever trying to bring me down before, or the DEA ever coming close to discovering my crimes?’ Walt questioned with arrogance, it was more for effect now and to knock Del down a few pegs, more than what he truly thought, but he was on a roll. ‘Why don’t you think about it? We have time.’ Heisenberg stood there now, despite the chains, in all his glory and for the first time Walt sensed Del squirming.

‘Ok, enough,’ Del barked, turning away abruptly. ‘You are still the one in chains here, and you wanted my help, with Jesse, right?’

‘Yes, that hasn’t changed, the pissing contest can wait,’ Walt agreed, backing down a little, but only a little.

‘We’re both on the same page, we both want what’s best for Jesse, correct?’ Del offered, his voice lower and all the bravado was gone now, Walt saw a genuinely worried man in his place.

‘Of course,’ Walt stated. ‘What do you have in mind?’

‘I can arrange for Jesse to get the best help, the help he needs and I’m willing to pay, but on one condition,’ Del proposed.

‘I’m listening,’ Walt answered, fearing what Del was about to suggest.

‘We both get out of his life,’ Del revealed. ‘I send him away and neither of us will know the destination, leaving Jesse to be finally free from all the bad influences in his life. That’s me, you, his parents, the drugs and his past,’ Del stated. ‘I’m going to prison, and you likely won’t be around for much longer, so we both cut our ties with Jesse right now and let him go.’

Walt desperately wanted to object that he wasn’t ready give Jesse up, he didn’t have long and he wanted to spend whatever time still remained with Jesse, but he knew Del’s proposal made sense long term. ‘We both pay towards it,’ Walt stated by way of keeping some control. ‘And make sure he has enough in reserve to live a good life, hopefully a clean one and long one.’

‘Agreed, we will need to trust him on the clean part, trust that getting a better shot at life might put him on the right track, finally,’ Del sighed.

‘And you’re ok with taking the fall for Heisenberg, letting me die a free man?’ Walt checked unsure.

Del took a deep breath and shrugged. ‘I have nothing, I know that sounds crazy, a man who has everything, the great Del Burley willing to serve the time of another man, right?’ Del glanced at Jesse. ‘But I really did give it all up for that guy,’ he gestured. ‘I love him, nothing will ever convince me otherwise, but I can’t be with him, and he can never be mine. He’s broken because of us and what we’ve done to him,’ Del rubbed his face and sighed again. ‘Prison seems the only place I can go, because I’m too chicken shit to end my own life, and you have too much blood on your hands already for me to ask you to do it for me. Walt, you have kids who probably still idolise you, so go be their father, be the man you used to be before all this crazy shit took you over for however long you have left.’

Walt couldn’t help the sudden emotion he felt, the mention of his own kids, the sacrifice Del was proposing to enable him to save face in front of them till his dying day. Was that worth more to him than spending time with Jesse? Suddenly things were not so clear cut, and Del was making sense. 

Walt let out the breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. ‘If it means anything I believe you, about how you feel about Jesse,’ Walt revealed, surprising himself but it was hard to deny what he was seeing in front of him. Walt offered his hand, and Del reached out to shake it. ‘Please, don’t mess this up, go arrange what you need to arrange, Jesse deserves some peace.’

‘I see it in you too, that what I feel, you share as well, right?’ Del checked and Walt simply nodded his head to agree. ‘So, I promise you that he’ll get the best help and treatment he needs,’ Del assured Walt, before walking over to the sleeping Jesse and taking a moment to spend a few final seconds with him. ‘Keep an eye on him for me until it’s time, it should only take me a few hours to sort something out.’

‘I’m confident he can’t go anywhere, but I will, of course I will,’ Walt stated, before Del left the room.

Walt closed his eyes for a moment, a familiar sense of dread filling him as he approached Jesse. It had been a long time since he had felt this kind of anxiety, it used to be his constant before the cancer diagnosis when he approached life with a certain nervousness and downbeat expectations. It was starting to feel like the end was near, but he didn’t feel ready. He couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that it shouldn’t have been like this, this wasn’t what he wanted, he considered as he crouched down.

‘Mr White,’ Jesse murmured and opened his eyes sleepily. ‘Everything ok?’

‘That depends, Jesse,’ Walt offered softly, the sadness overwhelming him. ‘How are you?’

‘Was Del here?’ Jesse asked confused.

‘He just left,’ Walt answered. ‘Did you hear anything he said?’

‘He said goodbye, I think, is he leaving?’ Jesse really didn’t seem with it, as Walt reached out a hand and lightly brushed his arm. ‘The door is open,’ Jesse noticed.

Walt glanced around and saw Jesse was right, he hadn’t realised Del hadn’t locked the door behind him after he left. ‘We’ll be moving soon I suspect,’ Walt offered but was he still a little caught out by Del’s oversight in not locking the door behind him.

Jesse got to his feet quickly, surprising Walt and it was too fast for him to react in kind. Stumbling to full height, Walt could only watch as Jesse headed towards the door. ‘Jesse, wait!’ Walt called out but stumbled over his chains unable to match Jesse’s pace, and only just kept his balance before moving after Jesse. ‘Jesse!’ he called out as Jesse headed out of the room.

Jesse then stopped in the doorway and turned to face Walt with frustration. ‘What?’

‘Where are you going?’ Walt asked, making up some space between them.

‘Out,’ Jesse gestured, as if it was obvious.

‘But where, didn’t you promise Del not to run?’ Walt desperately tried to move closer, needing to stop Jesse going any further.

Jesse considered Walt’s words. ‘I need to go,’ Jesse simply said, the phrase that had rocked Walt earlier.

‘No, Jesse, listen, you do not need to go,’ Walt stressed. ‘Del is arranging for you to go someplace nice, to get better, to help you. Away from me, and away from him, to start again and get those demons in your head silenced,’ Walt was hoping his words were what Jesse needed to hear.

‘They can’t be silenced, Mr White,’ Jesse responded calmly, and the lack of expression on his face turned Walt cold.

‘They can, Jesse, you need to honour their memories, don’t let them have died in vain. You, Jesse, you can do things that will ensure the world never forgets who they were. You can’t bring them back, you’re right, no one can, but you can make better choices and show the world what you can do for good,’ Walt was conjuring up all his teacher training now for dealing with troubled teens as a last resort, seeing the determination in Jesse eyes but also that he was listening to his words.

Looking at odds, Jesse glanced between the door and Mr White, clearly troubled. ‘I’m sorry, Mr White,’ he simply said and dashed out of the room, and out of sight before Walter could react.

‘Jesse!’ Walter screamed, attempting to follow quickly but the chains rattled loudly reminding him of the hurdles he faced.

* * *

The brisk cold air hit Jesse as he pushed open a heavy door and stumbled onto the roof. For the last few minutes, he had frantically run, feeling the need to put as much distance between him and anyone else as possible but finally he realised he had reached his destination. Jesse Pinkman took a deep breath, and it felt like his head was finally clearing. He rubbed his eyes and for the first time the pain of the damage he’d inflicted on his hands made themselves known to him, and he hissed in reaction, taking some calming breaths.

He was sober once again, or at least of clearer mind. The earlier drugs were now leaving his system bringing him back down to Earth with a bump. He felt tired, worn out and sensed the full force of the conviction he had inside him to finally resolve his problem.

He wanted to kill himself. 

Jesse stood still for a moment and let that thought possess him now that he had a much clearer mind. Embracing the night-time sky, the darkness was so inviting in that moment. Slowly he walked to the edge of the building, knowing he had made his way up to the highest point. It would be quite a fall, maybe only take about 10 seconds to reach the ground, possibly less, he was no expert in these matters he absently considered. Jesse briefly considered the option of drinking or inhaling a poison as an easier option, but just as quickly dismissed it, knowing with his luck he’d just find a new addiction. No, drugs were not the answer this time. 

Jumping seemed more appropriate, he deserved pain, suffering. To share that stark fear that Gale had felt, as he stared down a barrel of a gun knowing in mere seconds his time was up, that’s what Jesse needed to feel. He was desperate to share that feeling, the fear.

Could he really do it, Jesse wondered? Standing on the edge, looking down into the darkness unable to make out clearly where the ground exactly was. Images of his parents flashed into his mind, they wouldn’t miss him, they’d already spent so many years without him in their lives. His kid brother, well, he might be sad but it’s not like he ever really got to know Jake. Mr White would be sad, Jesse knew this, it would devastate him, but he was already dying so the pain wouldn’t last long. Del would be broken up, and this strangely pleased Jesse. To deny that man any more access to him seemed very fitting, sweet revenge for the crap he’d done to him, something that he now more clearly felt.

Mike’s image suddenly consumed him without warning, wearing a look of such disappointment that Jesse tried to physically shake the image out of his mind. ‘Fuck off, Mike,’ Jesse stated to himself, but the image remained. ‘I have to do this, Mike, don’t look at me like that.’

There was no response, Mike wasn’t even there, but Jesse couldn’t shake the image from his mind. He was unable to reconcile his decision and avoid the intense disappointment he knew Mike would have about his choice. But it was his life, his decision, he was finally taking control of his life and removing himself from the world, how could that ever be a bad thing?

‘What do I tell Brock, or Andrea, kid?’

Jesse heard Mike’s voice as clear as day in his head, saying the one thing that he knew would defeat him in his quest. Mike’s image was replaced by the image of Brock smiling, sweet innocent child, how could he ever understand what Jesse was about to do? How would he believe Jesse didn’t do this to leave him behind?

‘I’m not even seeing Andrea anymore, I’ve not seen Brock in months,’ Jesse stressed out loud, with delirium, trying to justify his own actions to himself.

‘Who are you talking to?’

Jesse froze, hearing Del’s voice behind him. He hadn’t even heard him approach, so wrapped up in his own thoughts.

‘No one,’ Jesse simply responded.

‘So, this is your plan?’ Del asked. ‘Jump and break your neck?’

‘Die, I plan to die, Del,’ Jesse insisted. ‘Jesus, I don’t fail at everything I attempt, you know.’

Del actually laughed out loud at that remark, throwing Jesse off a little as he risked a glance back at him. Del was stood about ten feet behind him, making no attempt to grab him or stop him, just stood a safe distance away.

‘What do you fucking want?’ Jesse then snapped, feeling he was busy and didn’t want to be disturbed.

‘There’s a helicopter already on route, it’ll be here in twenty minutes,’ Del stated. ‘And one of us will be on it when it leaves.’

‘One of us?’ Jesse checked.

‘Well, I want it to be you, as does your precious Mr White,’ Del informed him. ‘It will take you far away from here, give you all the space and time you need. Someplace else, that neither myself nor Walter will know, it’ll take you away from both of us to enable you to live your life without the fear.’

‘I don’t want to go,’ Jesse stated indignantly. This wasn’t his plan, and this was supposed to be about him taking control not someone doing it for him as always.

‘Well, if you don’t get on it, I will,’ Del reasoned, getting Jesse’s attention. ‘I’ll use it to escape the police who I believe are currently on route to this destination,’ Del then laughed to himself. ‘Would you believe we forgot to turn your stupid cell phone off when we took it off you? Rookie mistake, but I guess it explains why I needed Franko around to keep me out of so much trouble,’ Del considered with a frown. ‘Seems the cops somehow had the details to track your phone, and now they are roughly thirty minutes out. Maybe I’m not as cut out as I thought I was to be a big criminal mastermind, at least not on my own.’

‘Are you planning to talk me to death?’ Jesse remarked.

‘Would it stop you jumping at least?’ Del responded.

‘If I have to choose, I’d prefer to jump,’ Jesse offered.

‘Ok, ok, point taken but fact remains, if you don’t get on that chopper I will, one of us is escaping from here tonight, Jesse,’ Del repeated.

‘Escaping justice again, big surprise,’ Jesse considered with a sigh.

‘I’m not Heisenberg, and this is not my fall to take if you’re not prepared to help yourself,’ Del stated.

‘You may not be Heisenberg, but you are still a monster,’ Jesse stated, glaring back at Del.

‘Hey, I’m more than willing to go down for this, to give myself up to the authorities, I truly am but if you kill yourself tonight, Jesse, if you jump then you have to remember that I have no allegiance to your Mr White,’ Del explained with care, getting Jesse’s full attention. ‘My motivation for taking the fall as Heisenberg will die with you, Jesse, if you stupidly decide to kill yourself tonight,’ Del stared intently, and Jesse could see the conviction in the man’s eyes.

Jesse began to smirk, then laugh as he suddenly became animated with anger. ‘So, let me get this straight,’ Jesse began with gusto. ‘What you are saying is that I have to continue to live this crappy life, with these crappy nightmares running around inside my head just to see you,’ Jesse paused to control his growing emotions, empathising his words more now as he continued. ‘To see you, the great Del Burley, serve the time that you should have always served for abusing me as a kid? Why does that sound so fucking typical in the life of Jesse Pinkman?’

Jesse took some measured breaths, his anger still boiling before continuing. ‘Why can’t you just do the right thing for once? Why is it always on me?’ Jesse yelled. Del was clearly taken aback by Jesse’s sudden conviction in his words. ‘How about I do what the hell I want for the first fucking time in my sorry existence, hey? And you, Del, you just take the fucking fall as Heisenberg because let’s face it, you know if you take the fall for fucking a minor that life behind bars will be much worse for you,’ Jesse was nearly at breaking point now. ‘All you are doing, Del, with this grand gesture of taking the fall like some fucking hero, is making this easier for yourself by going down as Heisenberg instead, but still, you just can’t help but make out you’re doing me a fucking favour!’

Del scoffed. ‘I could be facing the chair regardless of either crime, you really think there is an easy option here? Really?’ Del raged. ‘You want to know the easy option right now?’ Del challenged, moving closer to Jesse. ‘The easy option would be for me to push you off this fucking roof myself, then getting in that chopper to a new life! I regret that I fucking ever met you, you ungrateful son of a bitch!’ Del countered with pure venom aimed directly at Jesse.

Jesse couldn’t hide the hurt Del’s words caused him, and it was clear they’d more than hit home. ‘Go on then, do it!’ Jesse managed, attempting to stand defiant before the sobs started to rack his body.

Del took some calming breaths, instantly regretting his words as he looked uneasy for a moment. ‘You really want me to push you?’ Del asked distraught.

‘It’s what you want to do, isn’t it? And it’s what I want, and you’ve always wanted to give me what I’ve wanted, right?’ Jesse challenged, trying to control his emotions enough to make sense. ‘And you know, right now nothing would make me happier, you know why?’

‘Why?’ Del was too caught up in the moment to realise what he was really asking.

‘Because,’ Jesse began taking some needed breaths before rapidly composing himself. ‘I see Mr White, the real Heisenberg, he’s stood over there, he’s just reached the roof. He is the devil, and if he sees you kill me, he will seek revenge. I know if Mr White seeks revenge, then nothing will ever stop him getting it, you hear me?’ Jesse hissed defiantly. ‘He will hunt you down, and he will not rest until he does, and I promise you it will be when you least expect it, and it won’t be pretty.’

Del glanced back to see Walter White standing a short distance away, looking concerned. The chains around his ankles now broken, clearly, he’d found a tool to cut them so he could walk freely, desperate to find Jesse and not letting anything stop him doing so.

‘I’m sorry Jesse, what I said, Ok, I didn’t mean those words,’ Del spoke more calmly now, with regret. ‘Let’s take a moment to calm down, perhaps?’ Del reasoned. ‘I am not going to push you, Jesse, so stop trying to play me.’

‘Me, play you?’ Jesse scoffed with anger.

Del edged a little closer, his voice softer. ‘You only wanted me to push you to save yourself the task of having to do it yourself, yes? Because you are now realising that you don’t actually want to die, you can’t do it, am I right?’ Del stated firmly.

Jesse moved closer to the edge, returning his gaze to the darkness below taking measured breaths. He still felt this was the only way, despite the growing doubts inside. He really couldn’t think beyond jumping, it felt so right, and he couldn’t shift that sense of solution.

‘Jesse,’ Mr White’s louder voice cut through Jesse’s thoughts. ‘Please, just move away from the edge and listen to us, Del has a plan I think you should follow.’

Jesse glanced to his left, hearing the feint noise of rotor blades, a helicopter in the far distance was finally approaching.

‘It’s either for me or for you, Jesse,’ Del reminded him, hearing the same noise.

‘What if I don’t jump, but also don’t take the helicopter, would you still take it?’ Jesse questioned.

‘Yes,’ Del simply said. ‘One of us is escaping tonight.’

‘So, the only way I can stop you escaping justice is to go in that helicopter?’ Jesse figured, looking off into the general direction the helicopter noise was coming from.

‘Sounds like you’re finally working it out, Jesse,’ Del beamed.

‘And you also say that even if I jump, I’d likely only break my neck? From this height?’ Jesse checked, and his manner seemed overly casual now, like an inquisitive child.

‘Pretty sure that’s the only damage you could do, the height of this building is deceptive,’ Del agreed confidently, seemingly pleased that Jesse was now listening to reason.

Jesse glanced at Mr White, seeing the older man’s eyes pleading with Jesse to move away from the edge. It was clear that he was genuinely concerned for Jesse, who could only offer the meekest of smiles in return.

‘What if I landed on that,’ Jesse pointed into the darkness, still standing close to the edge.

‘On what?’ Del asked, edging forward to see for himself, he seemed unclear what Jesse could be referring to.

‘That, can’t you see it?’ Jesse gestured like a child.

‘There’s nothing down there to break or further endanger your fall, Jesse,’ Del insisted but edged a bit closer to almost stand next to him, on seeing Jesse’s insistence that he confirm it for him.

‘So, you’re really sure that jumping from here, that it can’t kill me?’ Jesse stated, as if finally considering taking the offer of leaving in the chopper.

With an annoyed sigh, Del nodded his head. ‘Trust me, this isn’t high enough.’

‘But the fall could, say, stop you running? To ensure you don’t go anywhere near that fucking helicopter regardless of what I decide?’ Jesse then stated with intent, and before Del could react Jesse clasped his arms around Del, who was now standing next to him on the edge and without any further hesitation, he jumped, taking Del with him.

‘No! Jesse!’ Walter screamed rushing to the edge, then collapsing to his knees, as he tried in vain to make out the shapes in the darkness. All he heard was the impact against the ground, no cries, and then a deathly silence.

* * *

It seemed like forever for Walter to reach ground level, and even longer to make the journey to area of the building where Jesse and Del had fallen. Before he reached the doors, Lazio intercepted him.

‘What the fuck is going on?’ Lazio demanded.

‘We have to get out there, Jesse and Del jumped from the roof,’ Walt explained, removing the detail that Jesse had taken Del down with him.

‘What?’ Lazio checked.

‘Just come with me, they will both need help, we can’t delay,’ Walt stressed and began to move, with Lazio beside him as they ran the perimeter until they reached the two fallen bodies lying on the ground motionless.

‘Shit, Jesse,’ Walt scrambled to the ground. Jesse was partially on top of Del, who had broken his fall, but both had sustained head injuries with the impact of landing. Walt suspected Jesse’s head impacted with Del’s as they both hit the ground. The blood was flowing from both men, and it was a lot to take in as Walt tried to compose himself. He quickly checked Jesse’s pulse, relief flooded him when he found it, and then realised that Del was also still alive, although his pulse was weaker than Jesse’s pulse. Del had been right, at least for the moment, about the jump not being high enough to kill them.

‘Should we move them?’ Lazio asked.

‘Help me move Jesse off of Del. We need to keep Jesse’s head as still as possible, but if you can just move his lower body, I’ll focus on supporting his head, then we can check them both for injuries,’ Walt gestured and they both worked quickly, and carefully, to achieve their goal.

‘I’m calling for ambulances,’ Lazio then stated.

‘No wait, give me your phone,’ Walt demanded.

‘No, are you crazy?’ Lazio stressed, still seeing Walt as their prisoner.

‘Trust me, let me call my brother-in-law, he’s already on his way here. Look, he’s DEA, he can get better medical assistance to us and faster,’ Walt stressed, gesturing for the phone. ‘Just give me the phone and in return I’ll turn a blind eye as you and anyone else you think shouldn’t be here when the DEA turn up, get into that helicopter that just arrived to get out of here.’

Lazio could hear the helicopter was nearby, waiting in the next field and without another thought he gave Walt the phone, taking a quick glance at his fallen boss before looking at Walt. ‘Thanks,’ he simply said before disappearing to round up his team.

Walt wasted no time calling the Schrader house, unable to remember Hank’s cell phone, he heard Marie’s voice which sounded odd with the backdrop of the Mexican surroundings he was currently in.

‘Marie, it’s Walter, please just listen, the number that I’m calling from please pass this onto Hank asap, it’s vital that he calls me back within the next minute or so, do you understand?’ Walter stressed.

‘Walt, what’s going on?’ Marie fussed. ‘Hank is in Mexico looking for you.’

‘Yes, so hang up, give him this number and get him to call me, it’s urgent, Marie, stop wasting time!’ Walt barked and the phone went dead, and he could only hope she was following his instructions. Less than thirty seconds later the phone rang. ‘Hank?’

‘Walt, what’s going on, where are you?’ Hank stressed.

‘Hopefully at the location you are currently heading towards, please don’t ask questions just make sure you get urgent medical assistance here asap,’ Walt stated with urgency.

‘Are you hurt?’ Hank checked.

‘Not me, Jesse and,’ Walt paused, but then continued. ‘And Heisenberg, I guess you know who he is now.’

‘How bad?’ Hank asked, and Walt could hear he was already working something out.

‘Hank, please, I don’t know what to do, please, just get medical help. Heisenberg got angry at Jesse, they had this fight, Jesse tried to hold his own but Heisenberg when nuts, dragged him up to the roof then tried to push him, but Jesse grabbed him and they both fell, there’s so much blood Hank, please, they are both still alive but,’ Walt allowed a sob, for effect.

‘Jesus, Walt, ok, ok, don’t worry, medical assistance is already on route, will be there before us, so just hang tight ok?’ Hank stated with authority.

‘I’ll try, Hank, I’ll try, thanks,’ Walt stammered, and finished the call. Taking a deep satisfied breath before he looked at Jesse. ‘You crazy son of a bitch,’ Walt scolded.

‘Hey,’ Jesse murmured. ‘Don’t be rude, wasn’t my mom’s fault,’ he managed.

‘Jesse!’ Walt couldn’t hide his joy on hearing his voice, even if it sounded too weak. ‘Just don’t move, don’t do anything ok, help is on the way, you’ll be ok, I promise.’

‘Everything hurts,’ Jesse complained with agitation.

‘That’s good, means you haven’t broken your goddam neck you maniac,’ Walt laughed nervously, but it was more of a sob, his relief evident.

‘What about Del?’ Jesse then asked.

‘He’s in a bad way, I’m not sure how bad,’ Walt admitted. ‘I might care enough soon to double check.’

Jesse managed a small laugh. ‘I’m cured,’ Jesse simply offered, his lack of movement even though he’d told Jesse not to move, was concerning Walt but he was pleased that he was able to talk, that the head injury might not be as bad as it looked.

‘Cured?’ Walt checked.

‘Because I’m happy that he’s in a bad way, fucker deserves it,’ Jesse offered.

‘How about from now on you just worry about yourself, and forget about him,’ Walt advised with a small smile. Jesse looked at Walt, his eyelids looked heavy, and it was clear he was in agony. ‘Come on Jesse, stay with me.’

‘Cold,’ Jesse murmured, and his breath shuddered.

Walter had nothing to offer him, and he was feeling the cold himself dressed only in the jumpsuit they’d been given. ‘Hang on, I’ll go find something from inside,’ Walt fussed and quickly hurried to the nearest door and re-entered the factory. He glanced around frantically and akin to finding gold Walt beamed when he saw a heavy winter coat hanging on a hook near the office. Without wasting any time, he grabbed it and raced back to Jesse’s side, covering him and instantly seeing Jesse respond to the new warmth. ‘Where does it hurt the most?’ Walt asked by way of keeping Jesse talking.

Jesse flinched, as if trying to assess things. ‘Head is killing,’ he offered. ‘I think I’ve damaged my shoulder again, and my arms feel numb.’

‘Both of them?’ Walt asked.

‘I think so,’ Jesse agreed. ‘Might just be cold.’

‘Can you move your legs, your toes?’ Walt asked and was relieved to see the slight movement as Jesse tested.

‘Del took the impact,’ Jesse began to remember. ‘My arms were around him, when we hit the ground, I think I’ve busted them both, then hit my head.’

‘I think your head hit his head, looking at the damage, another swollen eye at least, maybe both of them, hard to tell in this light,’ Walt observed then jerked his head as the sound of sirens were heard, and Walt naturally took a deep breath. ‘Here we go,’ Walt looked at Jesse who looked like he was about to fall sleep again. ‘Showtime.’

‘We’re innocent now, right?’ Jesse checked.

Walt smirked. ‘As far as anyone else is concerned, yes, Jesse, and we’ll figure everything else out later, ok? You just focus on getting back on your feet again.’

‘Ok,’ Jesse sighed. ‘I can do that.’

Walt couldn’t stop Jesse losing consciousness again, and simply waited as the ambulances that Hank had summoned came to a stop close to them. Paramedics quickly descended on both injured parties, as Walt backed away to let them do what they needed to do, answering questions as they began to be fired at him. Just as they were starting to treat the two men more sirens arrived and seconds later Hank was embracing Walter White, reassuring him that his nightmare was over and with an ironic smile, Walter really couldn’t have said it better.

* * *

Walt sat alone in silence, with his hands tightly clasped as he sat at a table in a barely furnished room. The bright light with no windows offered him no clue about time, something he had long lost track of. He was tired but this was not the time to sleep, and he was praying for a distraction as the silence taunted him, engaging his innermost fears as he imagined what might be happening elsewhere, with some fear.

After a few more tense moments the door finally opened and Walt was visibly relieved to see Hank enter, all smiles.

‘Walt, sorry about that, took a bit longer than expected, do you want a drink?’ Hank flustered.

‘Coffee, please,’ Walt requested, surprising himself with how quickly he asked. He watched as Hank relayed the order to someone outside, before he returned and sat down opposite Walt.

‘It’s over, Walt,’ Hank confirmed.

‘Really?’ Walt checked.

‘Burley is in custody and has confessed that he is Heisenberg, his reign is over, I knew I’d get that fucker eventually,’ Hank beamed with pride. ‘Sneaky fucker, tried to get one past me, but no way, he met his match with me.’

‘Congratulations,’ Walt enthused with a secret smile.

‘He’s just been transferred to a maximum-security medical facility. It’s not certain yet what his recovery will look like but they are suggesting he won’t walk for a long while, if ever,’ Hank advised. ‘It’s out of my hands now, I’ve done my bit, I got my man. Now it’s in the hands of the suits to bring him to justice which should be child’s play with the evidence I’ve submitted against him.’

‘Is there a chance his previous contacts might bail him out? Given his ability to escape justice in the past?’ Walt checked.

‘He’s untouchable now, even if they wanted to help him, he’s just too high profile. Besides we have it on good authority that all of his previous aides are turning the other way, even his own company today publicly dismiss their association with him, Franko is now truly on his own and has cut all ties,’ Hank revealed.

‘It’s already public?’ Walt asked.

‘The story hit the wire late last night, as soon as we crossed the border head office released the news that Heisenberg was finally caught,’ Hank offered. ‘My back is so sore from the slaps I keep getting, Walt, you wouldn’t believe the attention it is getting.’

‘Wow, never realised,’ Walt admitted with some surprise.

Hank turned serious suddenly. ‘Look, Walt, I’m sorry you had to go through what you did because of me, I feel terrible that you were dragged into his sorry world.’

‘Don’t be silly, I’m fine,’ Walt quickly dismissed. ‘Maybe it was something I needed, you said I needed some adventure in my life,’ Walt half smiled.

‘I sure did, Walt, but Jesus, maybe go back to the quiet life, eh?’ Hank joked.

‘So, am I still needed here?’ Walt asked.

‘Afraid so, I just need you to sign a few documents and collaborate reports, give your statement whilst it’s still fresh in that noggin. It will all help build the case for both yourself and Pinkman as innocent victims, witnesses, you know?’ Hank stated, and the door opened with an officer bringing in some coffee for Walt and Hank. ‘It shouldn’t take too long, then you can go home to Skyler, Walt Jnr, little Holly and forget any of this happened.’

‘Yes,’ Walt agreed as he began to scan the documents Hank put in front of him.

‘The kid is doing ok,’ Hank then mentioned.

‘Excuse me?’ Walt responded with distraction.

‘Pinkman, I got word before I came in here that he’s doing ok,’ Hank offered.

‘That’s great, the kid has a strong spirit,’ Walt responded, trying to not to outwardly react even if internally he was relieved to hear the update. Hank had insisted that Walt travel back with him to New Mexico, leaving Jesse to be taken in the ambulance to another destination. Walt had protested lightly but Hank had been adamant that he travelled back with him, and now it had been over twelve hours since he’d seen Jesse.

‘Yeah, kid has got a few broken bones, a knock to the head. They are keeping him in for a few days for observation, the head injury needs the proper care and attention before they release him back into the wild,’ Hank stated.

‘Where is ‘in’ exactly?’ Walt had to ask, unsure if Jesse was transported back to the US or not.

‘Some city hospital down in Mexico, it was considered in both his and Burley’s best interest to get them treatment quicker and don’t worry, the DEA are covering the kid’s costs, I made sure of that, for you,’ Hank shrugged. ‘I figure the kid hasn’t got much to his name, and he shouldn’t lose his house to medical costs because of Heisenberg.’

Walt again played his poker face, not wanting to mention that unofficially Jesse was actually a multi-millionaire, it could never be common knowledge. ‘That is great to hear, Hank, thanks.’

‘Look, Walt, can we be frank?’ Hank ventured, and Walt sat up straighter, fearing what Hank was about to say. ‘I know about you and Pinkman, this special relationship you have.’

Walt couldn’t hide his horror, what did Hank mean exactly? Did Skyler spill the beans about his attraction to Jesse, that he had taken it further? If that was truly the case why was he being so level-headed, no it must be something else, Walt considered.

Hank looked away, clearly at odds. ‘Look, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you got diagnosed, that you incredibly found solace in a shit stain like Pinkman, more than you could with your own family. I hope you didn’t feel we didn’t take your diagnosis seriously, that we weren’t there for you.’ Walt had no words, and his confusion was rampant as he tried to second guess what Hank was eluding to. ‘I know that Pinkman had history with his Aunt and cancer, I guess that’s why you came together and it’s great that he’s helped you. But I just want to say that, especially with the gambling.’

Hank paused suddenly, considering his next words. ‘Well, I just want to say that maybe you should ease up associating with him, he’s trouble, Walt. Always has been, always will be so just don’t make him a mission, you know? Yeah he’s helped you and that’s great, but don’t feel you owe him anything, the kid is a fuck up, you know? You’ve done your bit, helping him with Heisenberg, albeit at great risk to yourself, so you’re done now, yeah?’

‘You finished?’ Walt wearily asked.

‘Just be careful, that’s all I’m saying. I’ve known many dropouts like him in my time, and you have to be honest that since your diagnosis you’ve really been all over the show, that’s no secret,’ Hank explained with a grin, trying to lighten the mood a little. ‘And when I realised it’s because you’ve turned to that shitstain, everything makes sense. So, just take my advice and focus on the people who won’t let you down, your family, we’ve missed you Walt, we just want the old you back, let us get your through this tough time now,’ Hank finished.

‘Right,’ Walt considered his response with care. ‘So, you’ve decided that all my issues with Skyler, the ups and downs we’ve had in the past year are all down to my association with Jesse?’

‘Am I wrong? He got you into gambling, right?’ Hank smiled. ‘I mean yes, the cancer has played its part too. Then turning fifty didn’t help, but all those times Skyler had no clue where you were, what you were doing, you were with him, right?’

‘I guess, yeah,’ Walt agreed, Hank wasn’t wrong, just didn’t know the full picture.

‘Let him go, he’s a big boy, Walt, he doesn’t need his old teacher hanging around cramping his style,’ Hank stressed.

Walt narrowed his eyes. ‘Did Mike put you up to this?’

‘Ehrmantraut?’ Hank seemed confused by the question. ‘No, I mean he told me about Pinkman helping you with the cancer, but nothing more, what do you mean?’ Hank genuinely asked.

‘Nothing,’ Walt frowned, realising this was all Hank.

‘How do you know Ehrmantraut, anyhow?’ Hank then thought to ask.

‘Through Jesse, it’s nothing really, barely know the guy,’ Walt dismissed quickly. ‘Look, I understand your concern, I really do. But I’m not going to stop associating with Jesse Pinkman, I’m not a child, you can’t tell me who I can or can’t be friends with.’

‘OK, tell me why make it such a big secret then that this Pinkman kid was helping you? Why allow Skyler to get so worried that sometimes that she was on the phone, crying I might add, to her sister at ungodly hours when you didn’t come home some nights?’ Hank questioned.

That hit Walt hard, and he had no explanation. ‘I admit at first I did lose my head, the diagnosis, the mid-life crisis, being a dad again. It all hit me at the wrong time, I know that but I have already made my peace with Skyler for my behaviour during those times. I have come clean about the gambling, Hank, and now you are fully up to speed on the whole Pinkman situation, so why should I change anything now? Surely, I should embrace all of the resources I can get to help me in my final days, Hank, why deny me that?’

It was Hank’s turn to look uncomfortable, and Walt enjoyed seeing him squirm. ‘I’m not saying that, I’m just saying with regards to Pinkman, just let that shitstain go.’

‘Hasn’t anything you’ve learned over the past few weeks meant anything at all to you?’ Walt stood up, his anger reaching a level where his composure was wavering. ‘I do not want to fall out over this, Hank, but I will insist that you stop referring to Jesse in that manner you do. I want you to show that kid some goddam respect because he has dealt with enough shit in his life already. He needs people on his side now, not judgemental bastards that seem hellbent on keeping him down.’

Hank stared at Walt, having rarely seen his brother-in-law display such passion, anger and commitment to anything.

‘Wow, you really care for this kid,’ Hank simply said in reaction.

‘I just hate injustice and bullies, always have done, it’s the teacher in me. But just never had my eyes opened so much as I have with Jesse. You know his story, what he’s been through, in his past and recently,’ Walt calmed down as he explained. ‘I was his teacher and the minute he left my school I considered him done, no longer my concern. This time, however, I don’t want to be that person who walks away from him, because he’s no longer relevant to my life.’

Hank leaned forward. ‘You already have a son that needs you, Walter, junior has been desperately needing a father figure,’ Hank then mentioned.

‘What the hell are you saying, Hank!’ Walter raged in full fury, causing Hank to shirk back a little.

‘Just saying, I know you hate the kid looking up to me as a father figure, but I figure if you showed him some of what you seem to be showing Pinkman,’ Hank was soon cut off.

‘Don’t you dare suggest to me how to father my own children, don’t you dare, Hank!’ Walt warned, even though Hank’s words sunk down deep into his gut, twisting it as he realised Hank was right to some degree about his relationship with Junior, in comparison to Jesse, ignoring the more intimate aspects of course.

‘Hey, why don’t we do this paperwork tomorrow, go home, have a beer, get some sleep and do this boring stuff tomorrow?’ Hank suggested, getting quickly to his feet.

Walt took some deep breaths. ‘I would appreciate that, I’m beat, I’m sorry if that’s all too obvious.’

‘We’re cool, Walt, we’re cool,’ Hank assured him. ‘I shouldn’t have made it so personal. Let me give you a lift, we can plan our next dinner date on the way, yeah? Get things back to normal.’

‘Sounds great,’ Walt agreed, wishing he could talk to Jesse but realising he might have to wait a while if he was still in Mexico recovering.

* * *

‘Are you sure this is what you want to do? We don’t recommend leaving just yet, you've only been here three days,’ The doctor advised.

‘I’m sure, look, yo, my uncle has medical training, he can help me, I just need to get out of here,’ Jesse Pinkman grimaced as he made a poor attempt to sign the document, with both his forearms in plaster, his right one in a sling again.

‘And he’s just outside you say, in the car?’ the doctor strained to see if he could see him through the windows of the main doors.

‘Yeah, he said he was in the parking lot, I’ll be ok to find him,’ Jesse offered. ‘He’s already taken my stuff, and the prescription and supplies.’

‘You really should be accompanied when you leave the facility,’ the doctor gestured.

‘The exit is right there, just keep an eye on me until I get through those doors, then we’re both covered,’ Jesse stated with a tired air.

‘Look after yourself Mr Pinkman,’ the doctor offered. ‘And you have my word, I won’t mention this to the Americans until they ask after you, hopefully that gives you enough time.’

‘Look, I’m not wanted or anything, I was the victim here, I keep telling you,’ Jesse smirked. ‘They won’t care but I appreciate you not running to them with this, they’ll be pleased I’m out of their hair.’

‘Ok, no more jumping off buildings, yeah?’ the doctor smiled fondly.

‘I promise,’ Jesse attempted a wave but quickly aborted that to save any additional pain with his arms. Once he was outside, he squinted against the sun and took a moment to recognise the car before approaching. The door was opened for him from the inside, and he gingerly lowered himself inside with care.

‘Any trouble?’ Mike Ehrmantruat asked as Jesse got comfortable.

‘Not that I could see, signed the documents, I’m all clear,’ Jesse remarked. ‘The bill will be cheaper for the DEA at least. Thanks for coming out here to pick me up, I was dying in that place, well, you know what I mean.’

‘I get it, I hate hospitals too,’ Mike stated. ‘So, have you given any thought to a destination, I’m pretty free at the moment after losing my day job so happy to take you wherever,’ Mike shrugged.

‘Where would you go? If you were me and could just disappear?’ Jesse asked.

‘As far away from Walter White as I possibly could, if I’m honest,’ Mike grinned.

‘He’d kill me before I could get settled, for abandoning him,’ Jesse smirked.

‘Seriously, don’t go back to ABQ, at least not immediately,’ Mike reasoned. ‘Look, I know a place you can crash for a bit, quiet little town in Texas. It would be a great place to think, relax and recuperate for as long as you need before you return,’ Mike suggested.

‘Let’s go,’ Jesse gestured. ‘You picked up some of my money from Saul, right?’

‘It’s in the trunk, enough to keep us going for as long as you need,’ Mike informed him. ‘It’s about a two-day ride to this place, with stopovers,’ Mike added.

‘If you don’t mind doing all the driving, I’m fine with that, I would help but,’ Jesse showed his injured arms.

‘It’s fine with me, just don’t mess with my radio, and make sure you rest up,’ Mike started the car, and they pulled away for their impromptu road trip.

* * *

End of Part 4 to be concluded in Part 5, coming soon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you will join me soon for part 5 which, I'm going to say it will likely be the concluding part. Jesse needs to find some kind of happy ending (or at least happier...) and that really is my intention despite my constant putting him in really bad situations habit... 
> 
> Please comment on what you liked, what you hope to see for all the characters - I will take it all on board, as its fun to see the feedback. Big question I really do want to ask at this point, whilst I'm still early days writing part 5 - are we done with Del Burley? Does that character need to be put to bed now.... let me know thoughts!
> 
> Oh and please let me know if you would prefer the part lengths to stay the same long length, or if you'd prefer shorter parts, but more chapters - I will always try to post once a day once I start, so just throwing it out there for feedback as I'm happy either way.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos help keep me writing... I know, I know... not cool, but never claimed I was lol


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